dat - Posted - 08/14/2012:  07:23:02

or maby even Billy Bob Thornton

dat - Posted - 08/14/2012:  09:22:51

New Math

 

 

Schools are finally starting to teach practical math that these kids can use in real-world situations! NAME____________________ GANG/CREW NAME______________ CRIB_________________ 1. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive- by shooting. How many mofos can Lajames ice on a drive- by before he gotta reload? 2. Willie has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his s***? 3. Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per day Crack habit? 4. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to gets the 20%  upside? 5. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette, and $1000 for a 4 x 4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother's bail? 6. Pedro got 6 years for murder.. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out? 7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz. Cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over? 8. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There be 20 girls in his gang. What be the percentage of b****es Tyrone knocked up? 9. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 5 rats per week and a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week's income? 10. Marvin steals Juan's skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15mph, Juan loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?  

OM45GE - Posted - 08/14/2012:  09:48:43

OMG. That's sad but funny.

We just had four murders over the weekend in Boston. There have been 30 so far this year.

DeanT - Posted - 08/14/2012:  09:55:00

We had a shooter at a local coat store yesterday... but not on a skateboard

dat - Posted - 08/14/2012:  12:40:49

OK, math lessons

DeanT - Posted - 08/14/2012:  15:28:59

I don't see how the kids today read the 2012 math problem, there are too many letters in the words.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/14/2012:  15:58:19

Can I take my shoes off to help calculate?

DeanT - Posted - 08/14/2012:  17:45:36

No barefootin around here... too many dog bones

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2012:  04:41:48

You mean like this?

dat - Posted - 08/15/2012:  05:51:23

I drink to much water when I try to ski

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2012:  06:43:39

My shoulders are too shot to water ski. I just drive the boat.

DeanT - Posted - 08/15/2012:  06:49:13

last time I tried bare foot waterskiing, I took in several gallons of water through my eye sockets

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2012:  06:51:49

There's always tubing.

DeanT - Posted - 08/15/2012:  06:57:49

last time I tried tubing I took in several gallons of water through......

dat - Posted - 08/15/2012:  08:17:31

our tubing is powered by the river current

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2012:  09:32:26

That's fun too. i just like being on the water.

dat - Posted - 08/15/2012:  10:01:23

we used to "river sit"    we would go out to the Neches River and drag an ice chest close to the water and just sit in the water and drink 'till we ran out of beer.     I was pretty ambitious when I was younger, I figured you needed to find what you were good at and do it with all your ability.    we river sat

DeanT - Posted - 08/15/2012:  10:22:54

cool... no need for a porta potty

dat - Posted - 08/15/2012:  10:26:13

after 20 or 30 beers, even the downstream people didn't worry about that

dat - Posted - 08/15/2012:  13:50:57

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2012:  16:11:45

Have you done whitewater rafting?

DeanT - Posted - 08/15/2012:  17:22:14

Me? Nope... the only rafting in Kansas is done in polluted resovours.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2012:  01:02:57

I've done it a few times and have a friend who guides rafting trips. Exciting fun.

dat - Posted - 08/16/2012:  05:35:15

that would be fun,  we've watched people in kayaks go down some pretty rough water,  some of that can get pretty wild 

DeanT - Posted - 08/16/2012:  07:06:27

all the rivers around here are dried up anyways. People on the golf courses are recovering 1000's of golf balls from the ponds and streams

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2012:  09:33:41

We've got several rivers in Maine on paper company land. The rapids range from "that was fun" to "OMG we're all going to die!" I haven't seen any golf balls.

dat - Posted - 08/16/2012:  09:34:10

pretty dry around here too, the lakes around here got up to their normal level for about a month, then started dropping again, the lakes were 12 feet low last year, this year they are only 4 feet low

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2012:  09:40:49

Do you think there's another dust bowl coming?

dat - Posted - 08/16/2012:  09:41:35

if it wasn't for irrigation and water trucks, we would already have it going on

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2012:  09:49:54

What I find scary is how interconnected the water systems are. If you look at all the areas that draw water from the Colorado River and then think about what would happen if it dries up enough that they can't supply everyone...

DeanT - Posted - 08/16/2012:  09:51:38

we need a pipeline from Lake Michigan or something

dat - Posted - 08/16/2012:  10:32:52

I think folks would abuse it,  they would rely on that water all the time instead of just when needed

DeanT - Posted - 08/16/2012:  16:01:56

Kansas needs it all the time...

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2012:  04:05:43

It's interesting to see how much water can be saved if we pay attention. Even with all its fountains, hotel showers and swimming pools, Las Vegas has one of the lowest per capita water usage rates in the country.

dat - Posted - 08/17/2012:  05:58:30

and it doesn't take much if you pay attention to what you're doing

DeanT - Posted - 08/17/2012:  07:19:07

we've never exceeded the minimum monthly water usage since we bought our house. But then, no kids at home either.

dat - Posted - 08/17/2012:  07:22:31

that makes a difference, our youngest is 15, she can take a shower 'till the water heater runs out, then still stays in for another hour

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2012:  09:31:21

My 11 year old son is just starting to take quick showers. When he was younger he would stay in and play with tub toys for what seemed like forever.

dat - Posted - 08/17/2012:  10:30:15

he'll probably start taking long showers again in a year or so

DeanT - Posted - 08/17/2012:  11:02:53

I had a little tub boat... you put a balloon on it and the air would make the boat haul a$$ across the tub. My favorite bath toy.

dat - Posted - 08/17/2012:  13:02:13

I had a boat with a rubber band powered propeller, wind it up and it would scoot

DeanT - Posted - 08/17/2012:  14:48:34

I wonder if kids today have water proof iPads for the tub?

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2012:  16:12:07

quote:

---

Originally posted by dat

he'll probably start taking long showers again in a year or so

---

 Too true. I had the same rubberband boat.

DeanT - Posted - 08/17/2012:  19:49:19

do kids even take baths anymore...what do they do to get dirty?

OM45GE - Posted - 08/18/2012:  06:20:08

You need to meet Ethan. Basket Ball, skate boarding, fort building, just messing around - that's one dirty 11 year old!

DeanT - Posted - 08/18/2012:  08:46:42

baptize the boy in Mr. Bubbles!!!

Mr. Quimby - Posted - 08/18/2012:  11:08:04

quote:

---

Originally posted by DeanT

do kids even take baths anymore...what do they do to get dirty?

---

I don't like baths.  I've never found them comfortable.  My butt hurts after about five minutes.

Totally a shower person....

(Work's been keeping me busy and my internet at home has been sporadic.)

DeanT - Posted - 08/18/2012:  12:39:26

I can totally fall asleep in a bath tub... and wake up and the water is all cold

OM45GE - Posted - 08/18/2012:  13:03:11