chuckv97 - Posted - 07/04/2018:  08:31:20

she is gender-compromised.

Her dates with sailors

OM45GE - Posted - 07/04/2018:  13:21:24

have all ended badly, some worse than others.

One time a Chief Petty Officer from a submarine left her

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 07/05/2018:  09:26:59

car running in the parking lot of an all night drug store, while he went in to purchase prophylactics.

When he returned, the car

OM45GE - Posted - 07/05/2018:  10:39:23

had been filled with hundreds of ping pong balls.

There was also a few

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/05/2018:  10:41:19

dead racketeers’ bodies beneath the pile.

Jimmy Hoffa was no Harry Houdini

OM45GE - Posted - 07/05/2018:  10:48:43

he has managed to remain out of sight for almost 43 years.

Some people claim

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 07/05/2018:  11:23:30

to have spotted him in various Memphis diners from time to time.

He is rumored to have an appetite for

OM45GE - Posted - 07/05/2018:  12:14:26

pumpkin pie topped with lots of fresh whipped cream.

If that isn’t available, he usually has

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/05/2018:  12:28:01

a few Rusty Nails with peach cobbler on the side.

Truck stops are not what they used to be

OM45GE - Posted - 07/05/2018:  13:41:20

in fact, some of them never were what they used to be.



Most of those were

Edited by - OM45GE on 07/05/2018 13:42:12

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/08/2018:  13:25:32

rundown outfits harboring ex-cons and other misfits.

Their claim to fame

OM45GE - Posted - 07/08/2018:  18:23:24

was space to park big rigs.

Other than that, there was nothing

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/08/2018:  19:12:11

but burnt toast, runny eggs, and surly waitresses with checkered pasts.

A trucker without a load

OM45GE - Posted - 07/09/2018:  04:01:35

is said to be dead heading, but it has nothing to do with the Grateful Dead.

Someone once told me that

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/09/2018:  04:44:35

height clearance signs in NY State were marked one foot lower than actuality.

So I drove

OM45GE - Posted - 07/09/2018:  11:16:14

my 13’6” rig under a bridge marked 12’8” at full speed figuring I had several inches to spare.

I tried to convince my boss that the trailer had always been an open top, but he

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/09/2018:  12:06:33

frowned at my transparent avoidance of the gravity of the situation.

Thereafter, I worked 3 years for

OM45GE - Posted - 07/09/2018:  14:51:25

minimum wage flipping burgers at the truck stop.

I would regale the drivers with my tale of

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/09/2018:  15:56:44

harrowing daredevildry and amphetimine-fueled west coast turnarounds.



But the white line was burnt into my  soul

Edited by - chuckv97 on 07/09/2018 15:57:52

OM45GE - Posted - 07/10/2018:  03:44:30

and as soon as my driving record was clear I got another driving gig.

The truck was old and slow but

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/10/2018:  07:44:57

so was I by then.

I avoided the Interstates

OM45GE - Posted - 07/10/2018:  08:04:44

because I was tired of getting my doors blown off on the slightest inclines.

Back roads were also

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/10/2018:  11:54:12

more interesting ,seeing the old rundown pre-Interstate motels and burger joints.

It reminded me of my bucolic childhood

OM45GE - Posted - 07/10/2018:  12:12:07

when everything was wonderful even though I had to walk five miles to school in waist deep snow, uphill both ways.

My mother used to tell me

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/10/2018:  16:59:29

,”If all else fails, you can always go drive a truck.”

I decided not to fail

OM45GE - Posted - 07/10/2018:  18:24:19

so I dropped out of medical school one course shy of my degree and bought myself a brand new Peterbilt.



Between my payments and fuel costs,

Edited by - OM45GE on 07/10/2018 18:24:57

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/10/2018:  20:10:58

plus my meal expenses, I take home $27.87 a week.

I told mom there’d be years like this

OM45GE - Posted - 07/11/2018:  03:29:00

but I think she just wanted me out of the house.

She also said

Raul Cabezali - Posted - 07/11/2018:  03:42:13

the more I played the banjo, the less I'd play the flute

so she threatened

OM45GE - Posted - 07/11/2018:  03:52:50

to sell my banjo on The Banjo Hangout.

I wasn’t aware that she even knew about

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/11/2018:  03:56:38

such things as cyber gatherings.

She then joined the QuiltersHangout

OM45GE - Posted - 07/11/2018:  04:49:54

and hasn’t been out of the since.

Part of me likes

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/14/2018:  10:43:19

her newfound interest, but her obsession with needles is concerning.

She has a collection of thimbles

OM45GE - Posted - 07/14/2018:  11:14:03

that takes up a surprising amount of space.

You would think

DIV - Posted - 07/14/2018:  18:41:07

that he would know better to keep his mouth shut. Good thing she...

Edited by - DIV on 07/14/2018 18:41:25

OM45GE - Posted - 07/15/2018:  04:34:40

was listening to The Ramones with her ear buds and couldn’t hear a word he said.

He often used this to his advantage by

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/15/2018:  13:17:49

sneaking a drink from the cupboard.

Her idea of a good time

OM45GE - Posted - 07/16/2018:  04:26:07

is lining up her thimbles in reverse chronological order of the date she acquired them and posting photos online.

Sometimes she poses in the

Edited by - OM45GE on 07/16/2018 04:26:44

DIV - Posted - 07/16/2018:  09:19:50

studio with her thimbles on her fingers.
She tried to encourage others to get into thimbles, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/16/2018:  12:51:56

there weren't enough washboard players around her parts.

Actually, her parts

OM45GE - Posted - 07/16/2018:  17:14:36

we’re extre round.

In fact, they were so round,

Omeboy - Posted - 07/17/2018:  06:00:22

that all her under garments were made by a local tent and awning company.

But like my Dad said,

OM45GE - Posted - 07/17/2018:  11:25:53

it’s a tough job but somebody has to do it.

However, that somebody wasn’t

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/17/2018:  11:37:09

destined to be me for longer than 7 months.

I gave her a mosquito net for her birthday

OM45GE - Posted - 07/17/2018:  13:32:22

and she thought it was a crazy idea to try to catch mosquitoes in a net.

I tried to explain

Omeboy - Posted - 07/17/2018:  13:41:20

but Dad took me aside and told me I was adopted. She wasn't my real mother.

As it turns out, my real Mom

OM45GE - Posted - 07/17/2018:  13:57:14

ran away with the circus shortly after I was born.

She left a note saying

Omeboy - Posted - 07/17/2018:  14:23:46

"Dear Ralph, Please understand. I love you, I love the baby, I love the dog and I even love your bouts of binge drinking, BUT I love the circus even more. Good bye forever."

The ten years later, I picked up the newspaper and read . . .

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/17/2018:  20:09:19

that she had been shot out of a cannon at Fenway Park.

She cleared the Green Monster