KyBanjo - Posted - 07/07/2020:  18:23:03

that one time I actually fainted.

I don't tell to many people about

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/07/2020:  18:31:34

that because they’d get jealous.

My testosterone level

OM45GE - Posted - 07/08/2020:  03:11:54

was so low my 23 and Me test came back that I was female so I started hormone replacement therapy.

Now the crack of dawn

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/11/2020:  06:42:03

has me in Tiny’s Gym and Fitness lifting weights before my daily 15 mile run.

My wife is dubious

OM45GE - Posted - 07/11/2020:  08:27:34

about my attempts to get in shape.

She thinks I'm just trying to

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/13/2020:  07:23:09

impress her so I can go buy another banjo.

My BAS

OM45GE - Posted - 07/13/2020:  08:17:25

is almost as bad as my GAS.

I really need to

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/15/2020:  21:19:16

curb my impulses.

Speaking of curbs

OM45GE - Posted - 07/16/2020:  02:55:23

this morning I woke up lying in the gutter with my head on the curb.

The last thing I remember

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/16/2020:  06:34:39

was lurching and careening out of Grim Jim’s.

His boilermakers

OM45GE - Posted - 07/16/2020:  06:51:09

were extremely tasty that night.

I had only planned

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/16/2020:  17:10:26

on having a nightcap on my stroll through the neighbourhood yesterday evening.

I’m glad Sgt. O’Hara came by this morning

OM45GE - Posted - 07/17/2020:  03:37:18

or I might be laying in the gutter still.

I wonder why nobody

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/17/2020:  06:04:16

has bailed me out of jail yet.

I’m not sure what I did

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/17/2020:  19:28:56

to deserve this kind of treatment 

but I'll bet my wife and kids 

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 07/17/2020 19:30:27

OM45GE - Posted - 07/18/2020:  03:14:12

are having a good time.

The last time this happened, they

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/18/2020:  04:12:08

Spent a week at a luxury resort

And then bought a brand new

OM45GE - Posted - 07/18/2020:  04:59:23

dog and named it after me.

“Idiot” is a strange name for a puppy, but

jacot23 - Posted - 07/18/2020:  05:30:08

if the shoe fits, put it on and wear it.



Speaking of shoes

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/18/2020:  06:49:56

my cobbler’s wife makes a dandy peach cobbler.

Her ingredients

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/18/2020:  06:59:26

Are all natural and locally sourced

However

OM45GE - Posted - 07/18/2020:  11:21:59

her housekeeping habits are execrable so I’m worried about getting ill from eating her cooking.

Her neighbors have been dropping like flies and

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/18/2020:  11:44:41

her yard bake sales have been shut down by FDA inspectors.

I’ve made her live in the garage for now

jacot23 - Posted - 07/18/2020:  16:11:42

,but it's starting to smell.



I'm thinking I need to

OM45GE - Posted - 07/18/2020:  17:59:53

take that long vacation I’ve been thinking about.

I’d better start

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/18/2020:  18:54:42

packing my grip for that long, long trip.

A ghost from a wishing well

OM45GE - Posted - 07/19/2020:  04:19:03

once told me I was a fool for believing in ghosts and then promptly vanished.

Now I don’t know who

jacot23 - Posted - 07/19/2020:  06:49:01

to believe; the ghost or Bigfoot.


I know, I know, you’re gonna tell me

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/19/2020:  07:34:07

my imagination is running away with me.

Nevertheless, I found huge footprints

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/19/2020:  09:32:36

going up and down the side of my house,

so I’m wondering if they were made by

jacot23 - Posted - 07/19/2020:  11:12:14

my neighbor's kids that I keep telling to GET OFF GHE LAWN!

Speaking of my neighbor's kids...

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/19/2020:  11:16:50

little Johnny came over and asked me if I had worms.

Little did I know

jacot23 - Posted - 07/19/2020:  15:05:38

he wanted me go say "no" so he could follow up with a dirty joke.


Don't get me wrong I love kids, even little Johnny, but...

OM45GE - Posted - 07/19/2020:  17:32:54

he’s such a cocky little S.O.B. it makes me want to wipe the smirk off his face.

Unfortunately, that sort of behavior

jacot23 - Posted - 07/19/2020:  17:44:42

would get me thrown in jail, again.

Wonder if anyone here

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/19/2020:  18:02:39

is a fugitive from justice, like I was back in the shady ‘80’s.

Good thing I changed my name and went in cognito

OM45GE - Posted - 07/20/2020:  02:56:33

including avoiding facial recognition systems.

I also grew a

jacot23 - Posted - 07/20/2020:  05:42:48

Rollie Fingers style mustache.



Anyone know where I can find

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/20/2020:  08:23:22

mustache wax these days?

I haven’t been in Oakland in years

xmark - Posted - 07/20/2020:  09:46:09

...ever since they started posting my picture up on those pesky posters.

Say, speaking of posters did you hear about

OM45GE - Posted - 07/20/2020:  10:12:41

the FBI's ten most wanted list?

They've had to

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/20/2020:  10:48:41

include ten banjo players who don’t plant fingers.

I hope they see the error in their ways

jacot23 - Posted - 07/20/2020:  12:09:21

or there will be a whole bunch of great Frailers in jail.


Now that would be

OM45GE - Posted - 07/20/2020:  13:02:56

a challenge for the guards.

How would they

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/20/2020:  17:30:28

ever sleep at night?

I dare say there’ll be hell to pay

OM45GE - Posted - 07/20/2020:  17:32:23

if we can only figure out who to make the check out to.

The we have to make sure

Edited by - OM45GE on 07/20/2020 17:32:52

xmark - Posted - 07/20/2020:  19:11:23

we're out of town before the check bounces.

Speaking of bouncers, how many bouncers does it take to

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/20/2020:  20:16:21

to screw in a light bulb?

Five - one to hold the light build against the receptacle, and four to

OM45GE - Posted - 07/21/2020:  03:30:52

spin the room.

If you think that’s funny, wait until