OM45GE - Posted - 07/15/2014:  03:50:22

Asian Jumping Carp which I've seen up close and personal.

They are

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/15/2014:  11:46:29

related to the Mexican jumping bean.

Don't eat those

OM45GE - Posted - 07/15/2014:  11:52:24

potato chips, they've been sitting out for three days.

You might

Louis66 - Posted - 07/15/2014:  15:51:45

You might fries some beans and burst you pants at the seams.

walk your dog

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/15/2014:  15:52:12

get constipated and plugged up.

All the colors in the rainbow are

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/15/2014:  16:02:13

what you make then out to be in your own head
They can be different than mine, you know

the mosquitoes here can

OM45GE - Posted - 07/15/2014:  16:05:04

pick you up and take home to the family.

I swear, some of them have

Louis66 - Posted - 07/15/2014:  16:17:51

chased some cows sat on pats

crossed the field

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/15/2014:  16:37:01

and then the river.

I think it's time to gather

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/15/2014:  16:45:00

up and attack them instead of them on us

now that the crops are in I can

OM45GE - Posted - 07/15/2014:  16:49:32

finally take some time off.

I may go to

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/15/2014:  16:57:44

Ma and fish and see HBO friends

This time I finally decided to

OM45GE - Posted - 07/15/2014:  17:34:15

take the bull by the horns, whatever that means.

Sometimes I think

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/15/2014:  20:28:27

and the thinking gives me terrible headaches.

My doc is an old sawbones

OM45GE - Posted - 07/16/2014:  02:59:35

who likes to experiment on his patients.

Right now I have three ears, two noses and

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/16/2014:  04:40:13

just don't care about nothing!

Meanwhile,back at the ranch the foreman

OM45GE - Posted - 07/16/2014:  04:43:38

had ordered the ranch hands to prepare his interstellar space ship.

He was planning

MWBailey - Posted - 07/16/2014:  07:21:54

to hijack the passing cheeseburger delivery ship.

Everyone knows that antelopes and buffalo

OM45GE - Posted - 07/16/2014:  07:36:19

make terrible airline pilots.

But they're pretty good at

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/16/2014:  11:04:16

chasing mules off the prairies.

I rode an old paint

OM45GE - Posted - 07/16/2014:  11:28:11

brush which left embarrassing stains on my pants.

It also was not very effective as a

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/16/2014:  13:31:13

saddle and felt very rough.

Wild Bill Elliott and Lash LaRue were

OM45GE - Posted - 07/16/2014:  14:22:17

fighting behind the bar.

It seems

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/16/2014:  15:29:31

LaRue was lashing out wildly at Bill over spilling his whiskey.

Ears were bitten

OM45GE - Posted - 07/16/2014:  15:32:47

and butts were kicked, but a grand time was had by all.

Especially

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/16/2014:  17:26:44

when the banjo started to play

I eat whale blubber in winter and

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/16/2014:  19:17:39

my blowhole gets real active.

My wife

OM45GE - Posted - 07/17/2014:  03:52:26

tries to keep me from the whales but it's just no use.

I can't keep

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/17/2014:  04:10:22

up with her "honey do" list.

All most women want is

OM45GE - Posted - 07/17/2014:  06:56:13

a man who will compete the honey do list and stay the hell away from the whales.

I'm not sure I

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/17/2014:  11:46:52

fit the bill in that area.

When playing banjo,always

OM45GE - Posted - 07/17/2014:  11:49:02

stand up straight so the drool runs out of both sides of your mouth.

If you can't do that,

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/17/2014:  14:49:42

hang a bucket off your 5th string peg.

You can then

OM45GE - Posted - 07/17/2014:  16:01:12

drool all you want without fear of getting electrocuted when the wires on the stage short out.

Of course you still need to worry about

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/17/2014:  18:56:49

the bucket filling up and running over

my neck has a

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/17/2014:  20:39:44

Frankenstein-like bolt through it

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/18/2014:  03:16:22

that holds my head on.

My pocket has a hole in it and

OM45GE - Posted - 07/18/2014:  03:36:16

I keep forgetting about it.

So far I've lost

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/18/2014:  16:52:00

all of what I gathered in it

Scotty's mule hunts rattlesnakes and

OM45GE - Posted - 07/18/2014:  20:17:49

then stomps them to death with its hooves.

I feel bad for the

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/18/2014:  20:41:45

the rattlers cuz they never had a chance to play percussion in a gluebrass band.

The "Rattlesnake Reel"

OM45GE - Posted - 07/18/2014:  20:44:17

was an obscure recording of Earls that was only dicovered recently.

It is

jistgreg - Posted - 07/18/2014:  22:34:11

one of those 78 rpm records with no hole in the middle. 

If you want 

OM45GE - Posted - 07/19/2014:  04:28:03

to play it you have to glue it to the turn table. 

That makes it difficult

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/19/2014:  04:42:27

to remove later.

So just keep on

jistgreg - Posted - 07/19/2014:  04:43:54

drilling center holes in your un-holey records. 

Speaking of unholy, 

OM45GE - Posted - 07/19/2014:  12:56:33

have you seen the new bartender down at Joes?

She is

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/19/2014:  14:58:16

the great grand daughter of Mr. Clean.

Don't ever

OM45GE - Posted - 07/19/2014:  18:21:22

ask her why she shaved her head. 

She might