OM45GE - Posted - 01/29/2020:  03:37:52

lack the sense of timing to clap on the backbeat.

They are the ones you see in the audience who

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/29/2020:  05:55:06

caught the clap in the back seat in the first place.

These folks later formed a band known as

OM45GE - Posted - 01/29/2020:  06:09:31

the Beatless.

They also toured with a

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/29/2020:  07:47:38

Cricket and a Hermit.

I’m glad the British Invasion has passed

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/29/2020:  10:32:25

because it had a pernicious effect on hairstyles.

Now hairstyles seem to

OM45GE - Posted - 01/29/2020:  11:05:49

be less divisive than they used to be.

I find that my flowing tresses are

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/29/2020:  11:21:39

flowing down the shower drain these days.

I’ve even joined “Balding Anonymous”

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/29/2020:  11:38:59

and we all wear baseball caps.

But a fight erupted between the Yankees and the Redsox wearers

OM45GE - Posted - 01/29/2020:  14:52:35

which ended when everyone decided it was time for a beer.

They all headed down to

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/29/2020:  15:04:34

to the local watering hole were all seemed ok for the time being.

After a couple of hours the barmaid

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/29/2020:  15:55:30

hatched a plan to rob a bank, she would be the getaway driver.

We all woke up early

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/29/2020:  16:01:18

in Leavenworth wearing shackles and chains.

Cold chicory coffee and burnt toast

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/29/2020:  18:17:16

sounds more like Louisiana than Kansas.

Federal prison sentences

OM45GE - Posted - 01/30/2020:  03:18:58

are something I try to avoid at any cost.

Of course, you do get

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/30/2020:  06:43:01

3 squares and a roof over your head.

My probation officer

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/30/2020:  09:01:40

taught me how to deep sea fish.

I'm reeling in

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/30/2020:  10:32:21

little but plastic, however.

Maybe I should try

OM45GE - Posted - 01/30/2020:  10:37:13

using something other than a grappling hook.



My line is a little thicker than

Edited by - OM45GE on 01/30/2020 10:37:33

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/30/2020:  12:40:22

recommended in “Field & Stream”.

I’m getting tired of the deep blue sea

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/30/2020:  13:09:24

and all the mercury poisoning.

I keep thinking of the madhatters and wonder why I

OM45GE - Posted - 01/31/2020:  03:17:50

wasn’t born rich instead of so darn talented and good looking.

I try to be humble, but

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/31/2020:  05:50:08

then I'll be the best at that. I have to leave it for someone else.

I wonder why no one else recognizes

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/31/2020:  08:03:31

my supreme mix of talent and humility.

I was aiming to climb the corporate ladder

OM45GE - Posted - 01/31/2020:  10:25:10

until I realized that I was already at the top.

Looking down, all I could see was

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/31/2020:  12:36:34

people scratching their heads.

I shrugged and

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/31/2020:  12:40:10

wrote them off as just more of the unwashed masses.



It’s not easy being swelled-headed

Edited by - chuckv97 on 01/31/2020 12:40:36

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/31/2020:  13:59:44

especially if you have dandruff.

And finding a hat is

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/31/2020:  14:11:45

when your a redheaded banjo player.

Did ya know JD Crowe lives about 30 minutes from me and

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/31/2020:  14:14:49

I still can't learn Black Jack.

I lost the remote to the

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/31/2020:  14:30:07

car or I’d go to his house and throw pebbles at his bedroom window to attract his attention.

He could then show me

OM45GE - Posted - 01/31/2020:  15:07:17

how quickly he can dial 911 and, more importantly, how quickly the police can respond.

The flashing blue lights

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/31/2020:  16:40:15

seemed to turn on before the pebble hit the window.

I knew he wasn't a fan of disco so

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/31/2020:  17:11:11

I backed away very slowly as to not attract the popo.

Only to trip over old banjo strings that JD uses for a

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/31/2020:  17:49:20

foil to trip up Sonny Osborne when he comes snooping around.

I’m glad I’m not a famous banjo picker

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/31/2020:  20:38:46

or everyone at the police station would have asked for autographs.

Luckily it was overcrowded

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/31/2020:  20:42:33

and they let me walk.

So I walked down the block to the Ace of Spades bar and casino, where

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/31/2020:  20:46:52

it’s usually so busy that people quit going there.

Anyway, I ordered some milk and cookies

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/31/2020:  22:21:02

laced with a double-shot of Irish Whiskey.

That will certainly perk up

OM45GE - Posted - 02/01/2020:  03:32:25

the breathalyzer when I get pulled over.

You would think I

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 02/01/2020:  08:26:16

would get a Tesla by now.

But the better part of me handed over my keys

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/01/2020:  08:41:45

to my better half.

She thinks she’s Mariana Andretti

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 02/01/2020:  08:55:05

when she's off her meds.



She speaks to me in Italian, but I don't

Edited by - OldBlindGuy on 02/01/2020 08:55:41

Bill Rogers - Posted - 02/01/2020:  09:01:35

understand enough to respond.

So the trip home

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 02/01/2020:  09:13:50

became an interstate chase. She drove into fog in Indiana to duck the heli.

When we stopped to get gas

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 02/01/2020:  09:18:47

, I realized I had used multiple sentences to get my point across.

Something must have been lost in translation because

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 02/01/2020:  10:46:02

she hopped on a Greyhound and I was left with the car running.

I drove to the used car lot

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/01/2020:  12:36:18

get me a female used car lot receptionist.

Her right hook

Bill Rogers - Posted - 02/01/2020:  14:45:06

put me on the floor while she called the harassment police.

When they arrived, they took one look at me and

OM45GE - Posted - 02/01/2020:  15:21:30

decided they didn’t want to get their uniforms dirty.

They left me lying