OM45GE - Posted - 05/11/2022:  18:04:22

he’s been consuming mass quantities of liquid protein.

Sometimes he

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/11/2022:  18:57:02

overdoses on Boost breakfast drink.



He’s trying to vy for the Mr. Atlas title

Edited by - chuckv97 on 05/11/2022 18:57:23

OM45GE - Posted - 05/12/2022:  03:24:58

but I don’t think his chances are all that good.

First of all, he

saw_woods - Posted - 05/12/2022:  05:23:08

has a beer belly that makes him look eight months pregnant.

On top of that

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/12/2022:  09:40:16

his boobs are size 32.

Double chins

saw_woods - Posted - 05/12/2022:  10:15:08

hide his neck.

A true example of

OM45GE - Posted - 05/12/2022:  13:44:56

morbid obesity.

His doctors say

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/12/2022:  15:29:08

that he should modify his diet and lifestyle.

Unfortunately he

saw_woods - Posted - 05/12/2022:  16:43:39

Is lazy, like the rest of us.

I guess he’ll

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/12/2022:  16:52:48

keep eating twinkies and drinking cream soda til he collapses.

His sawbones

saw_woods - Posted - 05/12/2022:  17:16:23

Might just have to saw his bones to get him to fit in the casket.

At least the pallbearers will

OM45GE - Posted - 05/12/2022:  18:06:44

need to be weightlifters.

If they’re not, they

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/12/2022:  20:26:09

will have to hire a front end loader.

His wife has a big insurance policy

OM45GE - Posted - 05/13/2022:  03:25:03

but unfortunately I’m not the beneficiary.

Her boyfriend

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/13/2022:  04:27:34

is a hairy little conniving schumck from Brooklyn who wears a gold chain Mr T. Starter set.

He occasionally

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/13/2022:  09:05:18

drinks in Red Hook.

His ‘58 Caddy

saw_woods - Posted - 05/13/2022:  09:41:49

no longer runs.

He sits in it in his driveway and

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/13/2022:  13:34:08

reminisces about days gone by.

He remembers

OM45GE - Posted - 05/13/2022:  18:15:35

everything except the last 30 years.

He thinks

RKen - Posted - 05/13/2022:  19:37:49

he will be elected Governor in November 2022.


If that doesn't happen

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/13/2022:  19:41:17

he’ll run for dog catcher.

He vows to

OM45GE - Posted - 05/14/2022:  03:35:55

do a better job than the last time he held the post.

That ended badly when he

saw_woods - Posted - 05/14/2022:  05:18:32

Tried to use a baseball mitt.

The dogs didn’t

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/14/2022:  05:42:48

know much about playing baseball.

However

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/14/2022:  08:53:34

they liked fetching balls.

This time , he says,

saw_woods - Posted - 05/14/2022:  10:38:34

I’m going to play my banjo and all the dogs will flock to me.

I think I will play

OM45GE - Posted - 05/14/2022:  13:47:32

something inspirational.

Maybe the dogs will be inspired to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/14/2022:  16:11:14

grow opposable thumbs so they can play rolling backup on banjo.

I wonder

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/14/2022:  16:27:46

if I can get Dr. Subversiff to clone such canines.

But his aversion

saw_woods - Posted - 05/14/2022:  17:01:00

to work may prevent him from putting in the required effort.



He'd rather spend his time

Edited by - saw_woods on 05/14/2022 17:11:37

OM45GE - Posted - 05/14/2022:  17:23:00

hanging around in bars.

He’s well known

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/14/2022:  20:26:13

at the University Faculty Club where he often expounds on the qualities of Russian vodka.

His one friend, Prof. Adam Attomik

OM45GE - Posted - 05/15/2022:  03:51:03

prefers single malt Scotch.

They often

saw_woods - Posted - 05/15/2022:  04:18:36

do double blind taste tests.

The goal is to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/15/2022:  07:11:44

to get local bar patron “Old Blind Jefferson” drunk on his keister.

Little did they know

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/15/2022:  09:11:24

that Jefferson often gets violent when drunk.

After one such episode

OM45GE - Posted - 05/15/2022:  17:13:08

Jefferson was the only person left standing in the joint.

He didn’t know that, because he

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/16/2022:  15:18:04

had gotten wedged between the jukebox and the wall while in a vertical position.



Fortunately

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 05/16/2022 15:19:03

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/16/2022:  15:19:30

the wall was being removed anyway by renovation contractors.

When they discovered the old Professor

saw_woods - Posted - 05/16/2022:  18:22:25

he was sleeping standing up, leaning against the wall.

His snoring revealed

OM45GE - Posted - 05/16/2022:  19:20:21

a likely case of sleep apnea.

He was referred to

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/16/2022:  19:49:42

Dr. Chartryte who immediately put him to sleep for signs of gagging.

The poor man swallowed his tongue

OM45GE - Posted - 05/17/2022:  03:07:56

along with a spoon and several hard boiled eggs.

It was a strange

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/17/2022:  13:59:49

occurrence when the old man woke up and requested a pan of fried Spam.

But stranger things

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/17/2022:  14:48:35

have happened in the Naked City.

Some days i get reality confused with old TV shows

saw_woods - Posted - 05/17/2022:  15:57:11

, they seem to mimic reality.

Like the episode of Gilligan’s Island where

OM45GE - Posted - 05/17/2022:  16:36:25

Mr. Spoke went to, oh wait a minute, wrong show.

Sometimes I have to

saw_woods - Posted - 05/17/2022:  17:49:21

Suck my thumb in order to tickle my brain.

It seems strange, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/17/2022:  17:56:07

you should’ve met my Pa.

Talk about strange, he