banjoscotty - Posted - 05/23/2017:  10:28:50

was wondering where her wedding rings went.

That poor mule has so many miles on it that

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/23/2017:  10:35:44

it needs a complete overhaul, including a total blood transfusion.

When you see me in my overalls

Scaggs7 - Posted - 05/23/2017:  12:04:40

you will know why 

The next time around should be 

Edited by - Scaggs7 on 05/23/2017 12:07:41

OM45GE - Posted - 05/23/2017:  13:21:18

a better sartorial experience.

My taste in clothes is

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/23/2017:  14:57:27

runs from edible panties to tough leather studded collars.

I used to be a pervert

OM45GE - Posted - 05/23/2017:  15:47:09

now I prefer to think of myself as a dirty old man. 

Sometimes I wonder 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 05/23/2017:  17:10:11

if taking a bath would change how i feel

The fish in the lake

OM45GE - Posted - 05/23/2017:  17:24:22

all died the last time I bathed in the lake.

I don't know if they

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/23/2017:  17:36:29

will ever fix the ozone layer.

But trump says

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/23/2017:  19:03:31

it'll be easy because he's a deal maker, even with Mother Nature.

Father Time, however,

Scaggs7 - Posted - 05/23/2017:  19:20:27

keeps time with Big Ben.

The last time i went rock climbing

OM45GE - Posted - 05/24/2017:  02:38:18

I forgot my climbing rope and had to climb without protection. 

I decided to

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/24/2017:  04:28:50

use my belt instead of rope.

Of course that didn't work so

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/24/2017:  06:34:20

I called the whole thing off, plus some other nasty expletives.

I sometimes fancy myself to be

OM45GE - Posted - 05/24/2017:  09:33:52

quite the man of the world. 

Then I met an actual man of the world and

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/24/2017:  09:51:38

that's when I realized that I was the better of the two.

You can view his medical records on line if

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/24/2017:  12:29:28

you know his sawbones, but his numbers might be better than yours.

To stay healthy, I ingest

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/24/2017:  13:01:39

you start eating better food.

Like chips,candy,soda pop,and all the

OM45GE - Posted - 05/24/2017:  13:13:15

chocolate chip cookies you can cram in your pie hole.

Before you do, can you please change your will to

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/24/2017:  14:00:28

include my name as beneficiary.

I'll happily play your banjo

Scaggs7 - Posted - 05/24/2017:  16:33:36

just like you did,

Can't stop, can't stop

OM45GE - Posted - 05/24/2017:  17:29:45

no matter how I try.

I think it's called "momentum", but

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/24/2017:  17:36:20

I believe I'm on a runaway semi with hot brakes.

Keep her between the ditches

OM45GE - Posted - 05/24/2017:  17:37:58

and watch for the runoff area.

Those scare me because

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/24/2017:  17:43:41

I've seen Sgt. O'Hara parked in one ready to check your slack adjusters.

The best thing to do then

Scaggs7 - Posted - 05/24/2017:  19:04:53

is takem off and coast on down

I didn't look behind me but

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/25/2017:  02:51:53

there were two rednecks coming down the mountain with a truck load of chickens. (and I mean COMING)!!

He was able to get passed me but

OM45GE - Posted - 05/25/2017:  03:43:03

got stuck behind a logging truck. 

The trouble started when they tried

Scaggs7 - Posted - 05/25/2017:  06:41:01

to keep the jackknifed chicken truck from being hijacked by the ringtailed flatlanders



You just can't

Edited by - Scaggs7 on 05/25/2017 06:42:20

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/25/2017:  09:01:03

trust any of those con artists..

They got headed back down the mountain again when the chickens

OM45GE - Posted - 05/25/2017:  12:37:36

all flew into the air at the same time and lifted the chicken truck over the accident scene.

The rest of the trip

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/25/2017:  13:58:56

was fraught with gravel roads, 2 ton bridges, 20 switchbacks, 6 scale house tickets, and a diseased lot lizard.

I love living on the

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/25/2017:  15:15:23

super slab.

Little is know why truckers

Scaggs7 - Posted - 05/25/2017:  16:35:55

drive trucks

The turn of the century caused

OM45GE - Posted - 05/25/2017:  18:04:10

many of them to turn to performing brain surgery instead of trunk driving.

A few even took up

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/25/2017:  22:15:24

lizard collecting, a serious and profitable activity out in Arizona.

Some lizards, though, get uppity

OM45GE - Posted - 05/26/2017:  03:18:49

about being "collected" and respond by biting the collectors. 

After all, the lizards just wanted

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/26/2017:  03:48:24

their own way of life.

Sometimes the lizards gang up together and

OM45GE - Posted - 05/26/2017:  05:38:19

go on a rampage beating up on the jackrabbits in the area.

The jackrabbits live in perpetual fear of these attacks because they

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/26/2017:  06:23:29

don't have much defence.

Anyway,,those lizards just

OM45GE - Posted - 05/26/2017:  07:35:08

love to beat up on bunnies.

It's a little disturbing to watch

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/26/2017:  08:40:49

trucks driving over migrating armadillos but he who laughs last ,laughs best.

Lately I've been having trouble

OM45GE - Posted - 05/26/2017:  10:51:06

sleeping.

I'm plagued by dreams of squished armadillos and

Scaggs7 - Posted - 05/26/2017:  17:36:14

monkey pucks and it's very troubling to a person in my condition

The feast was uplifting this year but

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/26/2017:  21:39:31

none of the festivities included banjo playing ,nor 3-legged races.

Buck Cherry carried his guitar in a

MWBailey - Posted - 05/26/2017:  22:15:31

plastic garbage bag.

I'd never do that with my banjo, but guitars

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/27/2017:  03:41:12

are much tougher and able to withstand the abuse..

My first banjo fell apart and

OM45GE - Posted - 05/27/2017:  05:08:35

I ended up using the pot as a planter and the neck as a cane. 

The strings came in handy as

Scaggs7 - Posted - 05/27/2017:  06:22:06

snare traps and bird catchers

I could have been a better