banjoscotty - Posted - 09/10/2015:  08:34:59

and get clogged with spit and crap,,then it's time to get a new set.

You could just put on a new whistle but that

OM45GE - Posted - 09/10/2015:  12:08:51

doesn't address the real issue.

Do do that, you have to

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/10/2015:  13:14:24

take the pipes to a master whistler.

To find a master whistler,you have to

Scaggs7 - Posted - 09/10/2015:  20:31:56

blow his nose first before he starts

I had a dog that looked like a

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/11/2015:  02:53:34

blue tick,black and tan and elk hound all in one.

The vet said she was a victim of

Rossanne - Posted - 09/11/2015:  05:38:38

Malnutrition, unfortunatly I ran out of Elk cheapo crackers,and that was that - -
Coming back from the Circus yesterday,,a Giraff who earlier waggled his tail at me followed me home..

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/11/2015:  10:56:48

so we tore out the ceiling so he could stand erect.

But my battleaxe neighbo(u)r

Scaggs7 - Posted - 09/11/2015:  16:43:43

a$$ was two axe handles wide but she was friendly

the next time I go to town

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/12/2015:  01:42:11

she wants to ride along with me.

I don't like that twinkle in her eye but maybe

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/12/2015:  02:45:46

I could buy her a Twinkie to feed her inner desires.

Having an affair with a battleaxe

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/12/2015:  10:29:52

will cause you to have nightmares.

And when you think it's just about ended,,it will

OM45GE - Posted - 09/12/2015:  16:48:10

become apparent  that the end is no is nowhere in sight   

She will follow you to the

Edited by - OM45GE on 09/12/2015 16:48:36

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/12/2015:  16:56:51

ends of the earth, and the ends of your frazzled nerves.

But there is one solution,

OM45GE - Posted - 09/12/2015:  17:12:33

that doesn't involve violence or anything else illegal. 

However it does involve

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/14/2015:  03:21:34

very quick movements and a running start.

But you should wait till she's asleep so she can't

OM45GE - Posted - 09/14/2015:  04:22:27

startle you with a quick upper cut that lays you down and puts an end to your well planned escape. 

Then things would really get

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/14/2015:  06:00:38

cooking if she wants to snuggle!!

But don't worry,,that will

OM45GE - Posted - 09/14/2015:  07:36:20

likely end up posted on the internet where it will take on a life of its own and will end in tears when your wife, boss or both see it.

That's why I 

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/14/2015:  11:07:00

plan to dismantle the internet tonight, as soon as Al Gore gives me the instructions.



Glowball warming

Edited by - chuckv97 on 09/14/2015 11:07:20

OM45GE - Posted - 09/14/2015:  15:32:28

is a current event topic that I don't really understand. 

I mean, what's the

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/14/2015:  16:00:42

use of warming a glowball.

Captain video and the video rangers are now

OM45GE - Posted - 09/14/2015:  16:02:24

known as the hooligans from the TV set. 

They've stopped

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/14/2015:  21:11:32

riding the range ever since the fire went out.

You can give my other suit to the

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/15/2015:  02:18:29

Goodwill store.

That will tick the Salvation Army off because

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2015:  07:58:09

I have a size 56 waist and a 22 inch inseam so no one ever buys my used clothing. 

It's also 

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2015:  08:56:44

a relic from my days in the traveling circus sideshow.

Me and the Stretch McHayne,the 7'11"

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2015:  08:59:22

tall, hirsute alligator wrestling woman were planning to be married as soon as the show got to Las Vegas.   

Unfortunately, we ended up

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/15/2015:  13:07:44

being sold to different circus ownere and never saw each other again.

How I wish we could meet once again out behind the

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2015:  15:50:56

elephant dung pile, where we could entangle in strange but titillating embrace.

I've searched high and low

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/15/2015:  17:17:23

now I'll search in the middle.

It's almost like the CIA isn't interested in

Rossanne - Posted - 09/15/2015:  17:24:01

..catching runaway Elephants anymore - - Father O'Riley was millking his goat..

Scaggs7 - Posted - 09/15/2015:  18:34:20

act like mules

and Scotty was investigating the possibility of

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2015:  19:32:19

jumping out of a plane with just an umbrella and a ten gallon hat.

Soaring through the air

OM45GE - Posted - 09/16/2015:  03:13:38

like some sort of banjo playing eagle until it all came crashing to earth in a painful and ignominious heap. 

He may want to consider

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/16/2015:  03:19:32

taking up a different hobby?



A hobby like flying model airplanes or

Edited by - banjoscotty on 09/16/2015 03:19:58

OM45GE - Posted - 09/16/2015:  03:30:25

knitting, which is usually safer than leaping out of perfectly good airplanes. 

Unless, of course, you

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/16/2015:  05:22:37

are just tired of living?

My old dog is scratching at the door so

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/16/2015:  05:41:46

I'll be throwing him a bone and then training him to knock instead of scratching.



Doors with holes

Edited by - chuckv97 on 09/16/2015 05:42:11

OM45GE - Posted - 09/16/2015:  15:33:53

are pretty common if you consider the keyhole. 

I usually hold the door for

Scaggs7 - Posted - 09/16/2015:  18:58:40

the ladies if I want to have a date with them

other wise I

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/17/2015:  02:15:18

just stand back and watch them struggle.

Some folks don't believe that Tarzan

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/17/2015:  09:35:28

ever struggled to win Jane's affection, but Boy is the proof in the pudding.

Swinging on vines

OM45GE - Posted - 09/17/2015:  16:16:27

sure works up a sweat and Tarzan's body odor could kill a hyena at 100 yards. 

It makes meeting women

Rossanne - Posted - 09/17/2015:  16:59:06

run with their fingers up their noses, folks  will then call out, "There she goes on her toes with her fingers up her nose! 

It was a sad day when...

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/17/2015:  19:40:43

I lost my ability to talk Latin.

Now I have to study Algebra to learn sine language

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/18/2015:  03:06:07

so I can co-sine for my nephew's bank loan.

The bank loan officer is his father so

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/18/2015:  08:31:06

he often goes off on a tangent about his son's (and mine) faulty financial practices.

The final outcome

OM45GE - Posted - 09/18/2015:  09:17:09

has yet to be determined. 

I'm hoping 

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/18/2015:  09:20:15

is,,,,no loan.

Paul Bunyan is a myth because