OM45GE - Posted - 08/09/2016:  07:18:42

supporting characters who had offspring.

Nellybelle was more of a parts donor than a 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/09/2016:  07:42:01

chuck wagon, but Pat wasn't complaining.

When the iron horse hit the plains

OM45GE - Posted - 08/09/2016:  07:47:03

it changed everything.

Suddenly anyone could

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/10/2016:  03:49:20

buy a ticket and send their daughters back east to boarding school.

But Laura Ingles didn't want

OM45GE - Posted - 08/10/2016:  07:52:10

any part of a fancy boarding school education back east.

She preferred country boys and

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/10/2016:  13:35:33

haystacks and horseback riding.

One day she met the train

OM45GE - Posted - 08/10/2016:  15:48:41

wearing nothing but a pair of chaos and a Stetson hat. 

The passengers 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/10/2016:  16:53:05

had never seen a pair of chaos and inquired about their origin.

My friends live in perpetual chaos

OM45GE - Posted - 08/11/2016:  02:41:05

and sometimes let their auto fill say "chaos" instead of "chaps", which would have been a much better visual. 

Perhaps they should have

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/11/2016:  05:08:08

thrown eggs at Apple's headquarters Windows.

Automatic gizmos are never

OM45GE - Posted - 08/11/2016:  05:44:20

a quick solution to a problem.

For example, my automated toilet paper dispenser 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/11/2016:  16:42:16

spewed out 9 yards of TP, then the auto-flush quit on me, and to top it off the hand sensor for the water taps went on the fritz.

Years ago a guy could set the gap

OM45GE - Posted - 08/12/2016:  02:39:46

on his spark plugs, adjust the ignition timing, fine tune the carb and drive a smooth running car. 

Now you can't 

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/12/2016:  03:02:37

even find a decent car.

My 2000 Buick LaSabre just keeps going and going and

OM45GE - Posted - 08/12/2016:  04:17:15

going, but it sounds like a cement mixer filled with scrap metal and smokes like Cheech and Chong.

I don't mind because

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/12/2016:  08:33:16

all that smoke reminds me of my youth living in a factory town.

Emphysema is overrated

OM45GE - Posted - 08/12/2016:  09:21:51

as a way to get out of work.

I spent years developing my emphysema and was told

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/12/2016:  12:51:59

to keep on working.

I kept on working and

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/12/2016:  13:01:04

choking and coughing til my lungs collapsed one day as I was pouring molten brass.

Greta, our fore lady, gave me mouth-to-

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/13/2016:  02:15:08

"you know what" re-sus-ee-tay-shun and I RESPONDED..

But that was not all..Then she

OM45GE - Posted - 08/13/2016:  06:26:36

slapped me and asked what kind of woman I tight she was. 

I replied that I knew what kind of woman she was, but wanted to

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/13/2016:  07:08:32

gain first-hand experience so I could have a laugh with the boys at Grim Jim's Bar &Grill.

But ol' Greta has a way

OM45GE - Posted - 08/13/2016:  16:13:41

of swinging her right fist up from around her waist so quickly you can't see it and so hard you think you had been hit by a train. 

It's one of the things that make me

BanjoClive - Posted - 08/13/2016:  20:06:36

wish I had a better dentist.

I think I'd gag if

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/13/2016:  20:14:37

I had to work at the town dump with rats running up my pant legs every few minutes.

I tried tying

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/14/2016:  02:41:20

The knot with Helen Hunt but she eloped with a 23 year old cab driver.

That was the dog-gone-est thing I ever

OM45GE - Posted - 08/14/2016:  12:28:34

saw, because the cab driver was a drag queen from Albania with a wife and six kids. 

What she saw in him

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/14/2016:  12:43:28

was an Albanian cab driver with a wife and six kids, who dragged hot cars every weekend at the track.

Little did she know

OM45GE - Posted - 08/14/2016:  12:46:38

that he had several other wives in cities around the world and would leave her crying. 

She should have

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/15/2016:  03:41:37

check him out before hand..

But it's too late to

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2016:  05:50:35

salvage the relationship with me as I've moved on to greener pastures.

Unfortunately, the women I meet in those pastures are not all that attractive and I

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/15/2016:  07:03:56

have trouble warming up to a cow.

Most of my old flames

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2016:  08:02:21

went down in flames, but I'm not sure who's fault the conflagrations were.

I know I 

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/15/2016:  12:59:44

did all I could to prevent it.

But you know how some women can

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/15/2016:  17:59:49

fire up your boiler and then retreat to mother's house.

A gal that can split wood

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2016:  02:45:00

can split your lip just as easily. 

So you probably shouldn't 

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/16/2016:  03:03:40

give her an ax in the first place.

Just give her a gun because

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2016:  03:07:58

she would spend time admiring the workmanship, giving you time to make an escape. 

Once you get away, you

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/16/2016:  13:58:22

should never pick up axe-wielding hitch hikers.

Some will tell you

BanjoClive - Posted - 08/16/2016:  16:32:14

to take a hike to where the cheese-heads live.

If I could only

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2016:  02:42:15

fly like a bird, I wouldn't have to hike anywhere. 

I've been practicing 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/17/2016:  08:21:09

my wingspan but having difficulty gaining any groundspeed.

Earl flew

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/17/2016:  10:33:55

from one mountain top to the other.

And not once did he

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2016:  11:52:05

wake up from the beautiful dream.

His wife kept trying to

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/17/2016:  12:28:58

talk him down out of his hallucinations but he just kept flyin' high.

A quick slap

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2016:  13:12:18

seemed to bring him to his senses, but it also pissed him off.

The ensuing fight was

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/19/2016:  01:05:35

not a good thing to see.

So she went to her

OM45GE - Posted - 08/19/2016:  02:39:41

walk-in closet and looked for a sexy outfit. 

She figured

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/19/2016:  07:07:26

her days of marital bliss were over.

So she began walking the streets