Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/18/2020:  10:16:01

to my scheduled date to “come out of the closet”.

I hope

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/18/2020:  14:20:28

that folks will truly understand my dilemma.

Maybe now

OM45GE - Posted - 12/19/2020:  03:37:48

they’ll stop referring to me in the third person right in front of me.

It’s especially annoying when they use

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/19/2020:  05:44:18

my handkerchief without my approval.

You wouldn’t believe

OM45GE - Posted - 12/19/2020:  06:01:49

how often that has happened.

Just yesterday they

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/19/2020:  06:19:32

accidentally took my Harley riding bandanna and blew it full of snot.

I didn’t notice

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/19/2020:  06:49:20

and was out riding when a defty-lookin’ dame pointed at me and laughed.



I gave her the one-finger salute

Edited by - chuckv97 on 12/19/2020 06:49:50

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/19/2020:  06:54:40

and she flashed me at the intersection.

Sgt. O'Hara just happened to be

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/20/2020:  08:10:24

riding in the car beside the deftly-lookin’ dame and with his social finger he flew the eagle right back at me.

Which I really didn’t notice

OM45GE - Posted - 12/20/2020:  10:33:24

because a fancy sports car had caught my eye and dragged it several hundred yards.



I cursed Steven Wright and

Edited by - OM45GE on 12/20/2020 10:33:38

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/20/2020:  15:23:04

then went into a pout because I am envious of his clever comedy routines.



For Christmas I bought myself

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 12/20/2020 15:24:44

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/20/2020:  16:02:43

a wiener dog.

I’d say Dachshund but I can’t pronounce it

OM45GE - Posted - 12/21/2020:  03:00:03

without sounding like I just sneezed.

The dog seems to enjoy

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/21/2020:  05:01:46

being close to the ground.

When it snows

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/21/2020:  07:19:29

his belly gets really wet.

And sometimes the snow turns

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/21/2020:  08:31:53

yellow from certain emissions.

I’ll be fashioning some stilts for him

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/21/2020:  09:17:30

to use out in the deep stuff.

Maybe now

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/21/2020:  09:39:50

he’ll be more enthusiastic about going outside. 

 

His name is Peter Draggin' but now

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 12/21/2020 09:42:49

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/21/2020:  12:12:40

he seems right on top of things.

At least that was what the neighbor was

OM45GE - Posted - 12/21/2020:  17:01:43

trying to achieve when he catapulted the poor beast onto the garage roof.

He seemed bewildered

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/21/2020:  17:10:15

by his heretofore unknown ability to fly.



He then chased the pigeons

Edited by - chuckv97 on 12/21/2020 17:11:00

OM45GE - Posted - 12/22/2020:  03:18:34

which was going quite well until he ran off the roof and definitively proved that dachshunds cannot fly.

Fortunately, he landed in

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/22/2020:  13:22:52

the back seat of my convertible.

He was lucky

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/22/2020:  13:24:44

my muskrat traps weren’t on the seats or he’d a’been in a world of hurt.



I’ve been cozying up to apostrophes lately

Edited by - chuckv97 on 12/22/2020 13:25:00

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/22/2020:  13:43:46

, which are nicknames I’ve given to my girlfriend's mammary bits since we've become more intimate. 



Now I have to

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 12/22/2020 13:58:59

OM45GE - Posted - 12/22/2020:  14:58:38

go take possession of the punctuation marks.

I’m pretty excited

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/22/2020:  15:43:30

when I see exclamation points.

As there is no

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/22/2020:  18:20:19

-thing better than points to boost an imagination. 



A favorite reoccurring dream

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 12/22/2020 18:22:27

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/22/2020:  20:06:16

is one where I’m at Lover’s Lane with the great granddaughter of Mr. Kleen.



Her albino appearance 

Edited by - chuckv97 on 12/22/2020 20:08:48

OM45GE - Posted - 12/23/2020:  04:52:10

is something I find very erotic.

Thankfully, she’s willing to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/23/2020:  05:28:42

wear an attractive blonde wig which reminds me of my Sunday school teacher.

She was built like a

OM45GE - Posted - 12/23/2020:  05:59:17

brick outhouse.

That is, if the outhouse is

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/23/2020:  07:16:24

considered notwithstanding.

One day she wore

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/23/2020:  08:38:01

nothing but a great big smile.

It made them feel

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/23/2020:  08:44:46

as if they’re lives were taking a sinister turn.

Her evil smile

OM45GE - Posted - 12/23/2020:  11:29:05

was in fact an innocent grin distorted by her ill-fitting dentures.

She couldn’t understand

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/23/2020:  12:08:28

anything that she ever said to anyone.

O'Hara often wondered if

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/23/2020:  14:41:02

if he should volunteer to teach Sunday school so he could keep an eye on her.

Turns out

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/23/2020:  17:14:46

his glass eye fell into his glass of beer.

No one believed

OM45GE - Posted - 12/24/2020:  04:30:24

it was an accident instead of one of his practical jokes.

He was always trying

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/24/2020:  07:52:48

to tease by saying “I’ll keep an eye out for you”.

But when it happened

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/24/2020:  09:39:50

everyone thought he’d lost his proverbial marbles.

Speaking of marbles

OM45GE - Posted - 12/24/2020:  11:29:34

have I showed you my copy of The Pieta?

I carved it out of

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/24/2020:  12:33:36

a bar of Irish Spring soap.

It has a refreshing

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/24/2020:  13:48:23

aroma , much like a leprechaun’s breath.

If you’re trudging in the Irish woods

OM45GE - Posted - 12/25/2020:  03:11:55

keep an eye out for my lucky rabbits foot.

I lost it while

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/25/2020:  11:30:39

searching for my lucky charm bracelet.

You will recognize it by

OM45GE - Posted - 12/26/2020:  03:45:17

the three legged rabbit limping around nearby.

He’s the one with the eye patch and

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/26/2020:  08:07:19

goes by the name of Long Hare Silver.

Try not to ridicule him