OM45GE - Posted - 02/05/2022:  17:58:57

there are a lot of strange things going on around here lately.

For instance, did you know that

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/06/2022:  04:58:59

a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush?

Now, where I come from

OM45GE - Posted - 02/06/2022:  18:30:09

we get a much better price for our birds.

In fact, they often

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/06/2022:  19:09:03

send Wall Street into a tizzy.

Homing pigeons are losing their way lately

OM45GE - Posted - 02/07/2022:  03:05:04

as they struggle to operate their new GPS devices.

The touchscreens are

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/07/2022:  07:12:06

small and hard to read in direct sunlight, especially while flying.

Battery life

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/07/2022:  09:45:15

is fine while being replenished by tiny solar panels on the pigeons’ feet.

I’ll be living off the grid

OM45GE - Posted - 02/07/2022:  11:42:43

now that the power company shut my service off.

I meant to pay them, but

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/07/2022:  15:48:50

my late, first ex-wife took all my money when we split up.

Now

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/07/2022:  17:37:45

I fry baloney on a Coleman stove and drink cowboy coffee.

My welfare cheque gets mailed to

OM45GE - Posted - 02/07/2022:  18:16:07

her attorney.

I think they are having

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/08/2022:  04:32:11

coffee at Starbucks on a regular basis.

I like my coffee

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/08/2022:  08:21:17

black and burnt.



Expresso makes me drive aggressively

Edited by - chuckv97 on 02/08/2022 08:21:35

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/08/2022:  09:16:14

so Ive been known to generously temper it with a good pull of Bourbon.

Sometimes my ability

OM45GE - Posted - 02/08/2022:  11:23:04

see anything out the windshield is questionable at best so I drive with my head out the window.

That can be a problem when

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/08/2022:  11:25:13

dust storms descend on the wide-open spaces in Nevada.

I just drive off the highway into the desert

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/08/2022:  12:32:16

with eyes shut and my cruise control set, and hope for the best.

One time

OM45GE - Posted - 02/08/2022:  18:14:49

the best was pretty bad.

In fact, it was terrible

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/08/2022:  18:24:28

when I startled a band of Hekauwee Indians out for a Sunday afternoon ride on fleet-footed Pintos.

My erratic driving

OM45GE - Posted - 02/09/2022:  02:20:58

enraged them and I was quickly surrounded.

They began pelting me

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/09/2022:  04:42:42

with cigarette butts and bottle tops.

My only choice

OM45GE - Posted - 02/09/2022:  05:02:06

was to offer them a friendly gesture.

Unfortunately I

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/09/2022:  06:41:07

had misinterpreted their sign language and offended them with my hand signals.



It wasn’t long

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 02/09/2022 06:42:15

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/09/2022:  09:02:44

before I was tied to a cactus and being flogged by Braves.

Hank Aaron stopped the proceedings

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/09/2022:  12:23:18

by distributing O’Henry candy bars and signing autographs.

All I can say is

OM45GE - Posted - 02/09/2022:  17:06:51

OUCH!!!!!!

There is only

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/09/2022:  17:13:45

a slight chance that I’ll live as long as Methuselah.

I’d have to replace

OM45GE - Posted - 02/10/2022:  03:03:57

my roof and several of my appliances if I did.

I would also want

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/10/2022:  04:30:50

a guaranteed lifetime income with built-in inflation allowances.

Maybe throw in

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/10/2022:  09:04:12

a 1956 Buick Roadmaster with wire wheels.

Roads in 2923

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/10/2022:  12:01:13

might be nonexistent and we will be beamed everywhere like on Star Trek.

It’s even possible

OM45GE - Posted - 02/10/2022:  17:17:00

that it would be a post apocalyptic dystopia where the savage inhabitants have yet to rediscover the wheel.

That would be an unpleasant

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/11/2022:  03:43:07

turn of events for those who enjoy fine dining and luxury automobiles.

Can you imagine

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2022:  03:46:32

life without a six car garage?

Actually, that’s

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/11/2022:  13:18:36

a refreshing thought.

Less junk to

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2022:  15:06:59

hoard and keep from scavenging passing dumpster-divers.

My attic is full

OM45GE - Posted - 02/12/2022:  05:45:58

of so much stuff that it’s difficult to even get inside.

I wonder if any

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/12/2022:  11:35:43

long-lost treasures are hidden in the attic.

Maybe

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/12/2022:  12:35:36

I’ll take a load to Pawn Stars and see if they’re interested.



I figure that Roy Rogers guitar

Edited by - chuckv97 on 02/12/2022 12:35:55

OM45GE - Posted - 02/12/2022:  19:09:40

would be worth a pretty penny if I possessed it.

Unfortunately,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/13/2022:  04:14:54

the ladder to the attic is broken and the parts to fix it are in the attic.

Well, I guess

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/13/2022:  10:13:43

I’ll take my lawn chair out to the back forty and mull over the dilemma.

It’s there that I

OM45GE - Posted - 02/13/2022:  17:14:22

have some of my best ideas.

The other day I realized

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/14/2022:  05:23:41

that my garage beer fridge is over 30 years old.

That inspired me

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/14/2022:  09:11:48

to turn it into a smoker for my pickerel catches.

I went fishing last week

OM45GE - Posted - 02/14/2022:  09:59:00

but was kicked off the skating rink.

They said there was

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/14/2022:  12:27:26

no ice fishing allowed in the face-off circle during hockey games. 



I think they are

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 02/14/2022 12:27:50

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/14/2022:  12:29:52

worried about rapalas and spoons.

Some players fish the puck out of

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/14/2022:  13:50:07

the lake, taking more than their legal limit.

It’s quite alarming