banjoscotty - Posted - 10/29/2016:  02:27:21

a nasal disorder and can't smell a thing.

But don't mess with Gail,,she only wants to

OM45GE - Posted - 10/29/2016:  04:36:30

marry you for your fortune and when she finds out after the wedding that you don't have a fortune she'll be really pissed. 

Then you'll find out what

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/29/2016:  06:17:01

Gail's personality is really like.

It isn't a "come and get it"situation,,it's more of

OM45GE - Posted - 10/29/2016:  06:23:25

"run for your life or you're going to get it" situation.

Her last husband

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/29/2016:  14:07:11

passed out emptying the cat litter.

Her obsession with cats

OM45GE - Posted - 10/29/2016:  17:00:59

is even more peculiar considering her allergies 

The last time she petted a kitty

Forrest - Posted - 10/29/2016:  20:04:56

she got so carried away that the poor cat was nearly hairless.

Gail tried to make lemonade out of lemons by 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/29/2016:  20:40:45

running them over with a steam roller. 

She ended up with 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/29/2016:  21:10:20

lemonaded asphalt and a stern reprimand from the Teamsters Union Boss.

Her body parts

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/30/2016:  02:18:53

are sure something to behold!!

If you want to know the truth of the subject just

OM45GE - Posted - 10/30/2016:  03:53:16

ask her. 

You'll have to trust that 

Forrest - Posted - 10/30/2016:  06:05:35

she's not drunk on Wild Turkey or hopped up on diet pills, both of which make her obsessively scratch her nether regions, swear like a sailor and lie through her teeth. 

The reason why Gail is so obsessed with p**** cats is

OM45GE - Posted - 10/30/2016:  07:17:00

it gives her an excuse to visit the handsome veterinarian. 

She's hoping

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/30/2016:  08:06:28

he'll recognize her charm and talents and whisk her off to a Pacific island.

There she's hoping to

Forrest - Posted - 10/30/2016:  10:23:48

continue her cat fetish in a more exotic locale with a whole new crop of felines.

A little known fact about Gail is her love of 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/30/2016:  10:59:16

manhole covers. 

She's actually written a book about them 

Forrest - Posted - 10/30/2016:  11:04:43

titled "Man holes and the women who love them."

Gail's poor spelling was often the cause of 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/30/2016:  11:58:16

censorship by the "Prudes of America Association".

They employ a roving group of vulgar police

OM45GE - Posted - 10/30/2016:  14:09:27

who looked for things that might just possibly have prurient meaning. 

They objected to

Forrest - Posted - 10/30/2016:  18:42:01

words and phrases that are commonly mistaken as being vulgar, such as rusty trombone and corn hole.

The penalty for use of truly vulgar things 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/30/2016:  18:47:28

is a public recitation of 25 years of Ann Landers newspaper columns.

Proper etiquette is a

Forrest - Posted - 10/30/2016:  18:52:43

thing of joy and beauty and even the most crass amongst us can learn manners with sufficient pain and suffering.

One reason to exhibit proper manners is 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2016:  02:21:46

distinguish yourself from politicians. 

Speaking of vermin, why do rats 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/31/2016:  03:51:39

visit mostly at night?

Everyone should read the book "Thirty-four ways to

Forrest - Posted - 10/31/2016:  04:15:34

Prepare and Serve Vermin to Your Family and Them Not Know It!"

The best recipe from the book

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2016:  05:03:09

is "Crepes a la Rattus Norvegicus" which I like to serve to my more discriminating guests.

It goes well with

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/31/2016:  06:07:44

rattail file soup, a delicacy in skid row soup kitchens and some auto body shops.

My job as a filing clerk

Forrest - Posted - 10/31/2016:  06:27:36

involved filing records of dead vermin found in various public locations throughout the city. 

The most high profile one

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2016:  08:00:26

was a large naked mole rat we found sitting at the Mayor's desk.

When we tried to move him,

Forrest - Posted - 10/31/2016:  08:27:57

the Mayor cried out something mostly incomprehensible, but it sounded like "Those bastards got Lenny.  I should have taken the money."

As it turns out, Lenny

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/31/2016:  09:20:30

had ratted out on the corruption and sexual hijinks at the county jail/gaol.

The mayor's extracurricular

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2016:  10:31:03

activities had finaly caught up with him.

He had rarely traveled without a gallon of Wesson Oil, a wet suit, a tarp and his German Sheppard, so it's not

Forrest - Posted - 10/31/2016:  13:24:35

a surprise that upon a body cavity search, the German Shepherd's favorite toy was found lodged in an unmentionable location.

The German Shepherd went on the talk show circuit

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2016:  13:59:53

and has several viral videos on YouTube. 

I hear he's writing a book with

Edited by - OM45GE on 10/31/2016 14:00:07

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/31/2016:  14:44:38

a forward by Deputy Dawg, a surefire way to outsell Biff O'Riledup and his phoney books.

Dogs with poetic licence

J e f f - Posted - 10/31/2016:  17:12:21

make lots of money.

Chimps with too much time on their hands

Forrest - Posted - 10/31/2016:  17:45:14

tend to fall to excesses such as cheap women, cheaper booze and nickel slots. 

Guys who love cheese 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2016:  18:01:53

are well cultured. 

They often 

Forrest - Posted - 10/31/2016:  19:44:28

know exactly which wine to pair, which cracker to crunch and which cologne to use to cover up the musty smell of taleggio. 

Consuming large amounts of stinky cheese can

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/31/2016:  22:07:12

lead to a lonely life of back alleys and freight yards.

Even mangy curs

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/01/2016:  02:20:23

stay clear of these frightful vagabonds..

The Bulls at the freight yard often

OM45GE - Posted - 11/01/2016:  02:58:58

join the vagrants for a song around the campfire. 

Then it's back to 

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/01/2016:  06:02:19

bashing heads and other oppressive tactics,,or in some cases tictacs.

The railroad Bulls enjoy

Forrest - Posted - 11/01/2016:  06:10:03

wintergreen Tic Tacs almost as much as they enjoy the cabaret. 

Many a railroad Bull has changed careers to join

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/01/2016:  06:42:14

the National Wrestling Association.

They promoted that like

OM45GE - Posted - 11/01/2016:  06:58:32

some sort of career advancement.

The hobos liked seeing them

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/01/2016:  08:17:04

go to get their noses out of joint.

Nowadays,though, there are computerized Bulls

OM45GE - Posted - 11/01/2016:  10:56:01

which show no emotion and aren't easily fooled by the hobo's tricks.

However, they can be

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/01/2016:  13:16:49

easily misled and detained.

The Pan American was a train that