OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2014:  05:50:39

when it comes to rocketry.

However, they

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/07/2014:  07:01:02

always expect large tips.

When the fat lady sang,everyone

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2014:  07:19:53

stopped what they were doing and listened in awe.

They were amazed at

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/07/2014:  08:54:48

the power of her lungs.

Wine glasses

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2014:  10:07:15

shattered, dogs howled, small children cowered in the mothers' skirts, grown men wept and the National Guard was put on high alert.

That was just

JohnN - Posted - 10/07/2014:  13:10:02

so exciting that I hope we can do it again!



But next time, so we can have even more fun, instead of

Edited by - JohnN on 10/07/2014 13:15:51

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2014:  13:40:12

singing, we're hoping she will go her aria on the Kazoo.

That way

JohnN - Posted - 10/07/2014:  13:44:54

there will be more room for all us banjo pickers. And, if she can sing in the key of G, half of us can play backup and the other half can

Edited by - JohnN on 10/07/2014 13:48:11

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2014:  13:54:45

stand there drooling onto our short fronts and talking quietly to ourselves.

Of course, that's a gross generalization, however, it's one that

dat - Posted - 10/07/2014:  14:18:51

is very optimistic.

probably less than a tenth can actually

JohnN - Posted - 10/07/2014:  14:27:49

remember the chord progression of Bile Them Cabbage Down and that leaves 90% of all the banjo players in the world, who are actually and truly addicted to the sound of fat ladies playing the kazoo, who can amazingly drool and talk to themselves at the same time... it leaves them scratching

Edited by - JohnN on 10/07/2014 14:29:27

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2014:  14:49:49

their heads in wonder at the amazing abilities  some people have.

Of course, it doesn't make them aspire to

JohnN - Posted - 10/07/2014:  14:56:17

upgrade their television sets to one those new-fangled color models

Anyway, anyone stupid enough to

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/07/2014:  14:59:22

tie their TV set to the back bumper and try pull it on an upgrade is doomed to a life of drooling and muttering.

Cheap whiskey will

oliver james - Posted - 10/07/2014:  15:10:17

Not make this job any easier

But, if the vertical hold is still working

JohnN - Posted - 10/07/2014:  15:15:55

then there would be no reason to try to hold it horizontally, if you know what I mean.

At least that was what she

Edited by - JohnN on 10/07/2014 15:17:13

Scaggs7 - Posted - 10/07/2014:  15:33:14

told me as she was leaving

the next line was

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/07/2014:  15:52:13

either a clothesline or a punchline.

For those who like

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/08/2014:  02:22:36

to hang out clothes and tell jokes,,I say,,go for it.

Milton Berle always said

OM45GE - Posted - 10/08/2014:  03:06:13

he was going to come to my birthday parties and tell jokes.

That turned out to be a

oliver james - Posted - 10/08/2014:  05:07:34

giant lie concocted by the CIA

As i losded more film into my

JohnN - Posted - 10/08/2014:  06:00:15

underwear while shoplifting, I suddenly and inexplicably had the feeling that

OM45GE - Posted - 10/08/2014:  06:01:17

old Brownie camera I notices that Big Foot was standing not more than 20' away next to the pool.

I finished loading the film and

JohnN - Posted - 10/08/2014:  06:22:15

decided to palzy walzy up to old bigfoot since we both had something in common.

It was our love

oliver james - Posted - 10/08/2014:  06:37:45

of the phrase palsy walsy that brought us together

the wedding invitations we chose

JohnN - Posted - 10/08/2014:  06:46:22

had to include a picture of gold plated Scruggs Tuners. We thought if we could entice all the banjo players to come to our (fake) wedding, once and for all

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/08/2014:  07:26:58

we could have a nuptial hoedown and a honeymoon for the ages.

However, the moonshine

OM45GE - Posted - 10/08/2014:  12:12:26

was horrible and we ended up not having much of a party at all.

I should have

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/08/2014:  14:00:24

stayed at home where I belong.

They had good music but that

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/08/2014:  15:08:24

bass player with the big amp drowned out the banjo and fiddle.

My head is still

OM45GE - Posted - 10/08/2014:  16:44:25

hurting from where the dobro player hit me with his microphone, which was quite uncalled for.

All I did was ask him if he

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/08/2014:  17:20:41

could lend me his girlfriend for the night.

Sheesh,,you

OM45GE - Posted - 10/08/2014:  17:27:14

would think I'd asked to borrow his dobro.

I never imagined

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/09/2014:  02:05:57

you could drowned out a banjo or a dobro.it's usually the other way around.

Banjo are not to be

OM45GE - Posted - 10/09/2014:  03:52:01

confused with zeppelins even though they are quite similar. 

Just the other day I took my zeppelin to the

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/09/2014:  07:36:45

luthier's house,but he ran for cover.



Little did he know

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/09/2014 07:37:15

JohnN - Posted - 10/09/2014:  07:57:10

that hydrogen isn't used in Zeps anymore. It's been replaced by helium!

The only reason banjo players can reach the high harmonies

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/09/2014:  10:23:34

is because they wear very tight jockey shorts.

They squeeze things together in a way that

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/09/2014:  10:29:12

would make Bill Monroe howl and dance.

You can't

OM45GE - Posted - 10/09/2014:  13:32:31

get them to stop doing Tiny Tim impersonations.

It's really quite

MWBailey - Posted - 10/09/2014:  14:03:27

disgusting when Tiny Tim coughs up hairballs.

One cure for hairballs is

OM45GE - Posted - 10/09/2014:  14:59:08

have the cat euthanized.

It's 100% effective against the hairballs but not

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/10/2014:  06:16:02

birth control.

What?,,,Did you expect something that was

OM45GE - Posted - 10/10/2014:  07:23:19

politically correct?

We're banjo players, that's

JohnN - Posted - 10/10/2014:  08:27:20

for sure.

You can tell

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/10/2014:  09:15:35

just by the way we walk and talk.

Other musicians

JohnN - Posted - 10/10/2014:  09:52:24

did not feel the need to have sex change operations

or have their fingers

OM45GE - Posted - 10/10/2014:  14:27:11

broken and reset for greater reach.

But banjo players are

Scaggs7 - Posted - 10/10/2014:  14:31:24

pickin way too loud and the we of us can't hear what we are doing

the house nest door