chuckv97 - Posted - 02/26/2018:  18:10:23

she’s holding a whip, so 5 of the judges have phoned in sick.

On the other hand,

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/27/2018:  04:12:41

when she lost the 63lbs,that left very ugly wrinkles.

on the other hand

OM45GE - Posted - 02/27/2018:  06:59:50

some of the wrinkles are large enough to hold her wallet so her hands are free to wield the whip.

On the other hand

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/27/2018:  07:13:29

she has two broken fingers from beating Knuckles Malone in a game of pool over at Tiny’s Pool Hall.

Her beehive , however,

OM45GE - Posted - 02/27/2018:  11:27:04

doesn't have any bees living in it.

Some say that she does have

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/27/2018:  14:06:30

a 38 derringer hidden there.

She also has

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/27/2018:  14:20:19

a lithp which helpth her underthtand Thhhylvethter the Cat cartoonths.

Never ask her about the Sasquatch

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2018:  08:38:11

she claims to have met and carried on a torrid affair with.

You'll never hear the end of how he

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/28/2018:  20:42:54

was the butt of her sarcastic jokes and cruel whippings.

But he gamely sallied forth

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/01/2018:  04:15:56

when she baked him a big cake.

And that's the beginning of a

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2018:  04:34:09

whole new chapter in the Sasquatch saga.

It explains why no one has seen

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/01/2018:  07:28:10

Mr. Hoffa for a very long time..

Do you think that's really

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/01/2018:  08:13:46

an appropriate bedtime story to tell your grandkids?



Methinks not

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/01/2018 08:14:14

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2018:  11:43:25

as they probably don't even know who Jimmy Hoffa was, let alone wonder what happened to him.

For bedtime stories, I prefer to regale them with lurid descriptions of

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/02/2018:  03:27:32

Dracula and the Werewolf.

Wouldn't you rather here about how Roy and Dale

OM45GE - Posted - 03/02/2018:  05:09:56

avoided any of the scandals that seem to follow many celebrities?

They really were

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/02/2018:  05:20:20

the lily white couple who never needed to go to Confession.

But Pat Brady and Nellybelle

OM45GE - Posted - 03/02/2018:  05:29:08

were another matter entirely.

Nellybelle's tailpipe was

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/02/2018:  08:48:29

black as the ace of spades.

High octane fuel will

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/02/2018:  09:29:25

have you jamming around the campsites til 5 am.

Just slap that capo

OM45GE - Posted - 03/02/2018:  12:09:42

on your girlfriend's upper thigh and see if her voice gets higher.

I'm betting it

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/02/2018:  15:20:15

would be a hard job to fret her.

Of course the G string

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/02/2018:  16:09:34

is wound tighter than a three dollar watch.

When she slops her dripper

OM45GE - Posted - 03/02/2018:  16:15:15

into the bucket, grown men have been known to weep at the sight.

For some reason they

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/03/2018:  03:12:47

think she's wasting it.

That's a gross situation but it will

OM45GE - Posted - 03/03/2018:  05:21:38

probably go viral once the video is posted on the internet.

I've see similar

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/04/2018:  00:52:11

“Incidents” reported on the police band whilst listening to my trusty HAM radio.

A guy in Swahililand asked me

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/04/2018:  03:23:37

which way to Yankee Stadium.

He could have asked any

Lemon Banjo and Supply - Posted - 03/04/2018:  09:17:11

other person, but no had had to ask me.

Even though I bought it

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/04/2018:  10:28:20

I failed to get a receipt.

Oh well,,I never did like to

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/04/2018:  11:53:48

waste forest products due to my abhorrence of paper mills and their stink.

My new job at the recycling plant

Lemon Banjo and Supply - Posted - 03/04/2018:  11:55:02

and got some newspapers from September of 01.

Did anyone know that...

Edited by - Lemon Banjo and Supply on 03/04/2018 11:57:14

OM45GE - Posted - 03/04/2018:  13:59:41

there is more than one way to skin a cat?

My favorite method is to

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/04/2018:  14:18:25

use a sharp knife.

The other method is to

OM45GE - Posted - 03/04/2018:  14:21:39

put them in a commercial potato peeler.

It's much faster but voids the warranty and

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/04/2018:  17:09:42

the nine-lives thing really overworks that peeler.

Cats without skins

Lemon Banjo and Supply - Posted - 03/04/2018:  18:01:48

are the next step up from hairless cats.

Cat skins can be used

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/05/2018:  02:34:00

as muckets for warmth in winter.

Well if you can't do that then

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/05/2018:  06:04:48

“Apr 16, 2004 · I have been searching for the historical use and source of the word mucket. I have been told that it is term for a female pubic toupee”

you could always slap it on your banjo for a new head.

I’ve been wanting a new head

OM45GE - Posted - 03/05/2018:  10:00:24

but I'm told they haven't perfected the head transplant process.

I could end up with

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/05/2018:  11:06:30

no hair at all.

Best to leave well enough alone unless you

OM45GE - Posted - 03/05/2018:  12:06:20

have a keen spirit of adventure.

Even them you probably should

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/05/2018:  12:43:40

only round the Horn once every ten years.

Those southern latitude adventures

OM45GE - Posted - 03/05/2018:  13:17:42

can take a lot out of you if you don't pack properly.

I always bring two

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/06/2018:  03:45:04

muckets just in case.

You never know who else might

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/06/2018:  07:35:45

show up with a bald kitty.

My sex therapist

OM45GE - Posted - 03/07/2018:  03:29:09

just ran off with my wife, which surprised me because I didn't know she was gay and I don't have a wife.

I suspect she's just trying to

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/07/2018:  03:50:27

get me aroused for the first time in 12 years.

Fantasies have their place, but

OM45GE - Posted - 03/07/2018:  07:00:12

in this case, fantasy is all I have.

So please don't