OM45GE - Posted - 10/05/2016:  14:15:42

and didn't mind who knew it.

He was often seen

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/06/2016:  03:33:18

on the city park bench.

But Andy let him

OM45GE - Posted - 10/06/2016:  03:39:40

use the jail cell as a personal crash pad. 

He even had

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/06/2016:  05:23:07

piped in Darling Family music, and Aunt Bea's old banjo to plunk on.

But poor old Otis

OM45GE - Posted - 10/06/2016:  07:27:00

definitely had a problem with the sauce and it ultimately cost him dearly.

It wasn't long before

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/07/2016:  15:01:26

he joined Goober at the all night AA meetings at the Oddfellows Hall.

Otis got so dry that

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2016:  19:54:12

he blew away in a stiff breeze. 

They found him 

Rossanne - Posted - 10/08/2016:  14:23:46

..later spread eagled over by the out-house covered in vomit. 

O'Malley saw a great opportunity to  

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/08/2016:  16:37:39

tip over the outhouse, but just then Ma Kettle came to relieve herself.

Otis' vomit dripped

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/09/2016:  01:30:43

and dripped and dripped and dripped.

All this time Barney was

Rossanne - Posted - 10/09/2016:  02:04:03

..rubbing his hands with glee, he 'nowd very well that Ma Kettle had hidden something big behind the out-house.

Otis' by this time was feeling..

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/09/2016:  15:11:57

like he could stand another slug from the jug.

So he got up and stumbled over to

OM45GE - Posted - 10/09/2016:  15:43:20

where he thought he had left it. 

Unfortunately 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/09/2016:  18:24:02

the AA police had come by and poured it out into the outhouse hole.

This caused an eruption

OM45GE - Posted - 10/10/2016:  02:39:31

that rivaled Mount Vesuvius in volume but far surpassed it in the noxiousness of the ejection. 

They had to call in 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/10/2016:  04:45:47

Aunt "B" to use the plunger on it.

Andy wouldn't help because

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/10/2016:  05:51:33

it was against Small-Town-Cop Union Regulations.

So Joe the Plumber was summoned

OM45GE - Posted - 10/10/2016:  06:07:34

but he was sleeping off the effects of a wild night at the pool hall and never responded.

The noxious cloud emanating from the remains of the outhouse were visible from the International Space Station where astronauts were overheard saying

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/10/2016:  06:11:26

"Not my problem."

Hallucinations in outer space

OM45GE - Posted - 10/10/2016:  06:18:40

tend to be more vivid than those down on Earth.

They think it may be because

Forrest - Posted - 10/11/2016:  06:53:16

of the lack of oxygen to the brain.

Speaking of oxygen, 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/11/2016:  08:08:53

did you know I'm addicted to the stuff?

I should never have

OM45GE - Posted - 10/11/2016:  08:09:37

there certainly are a lot of people who are a complete waste of the oxygen they're using.

Other folks are

Forrest - Posted - 10/11/2016:  12:02:38

crazy for not liking fried spam.

I personally never

OM45GE - Posted - 10/11/2016:  14:14:57

go out of the house without chowing down on a pound or two of fried Spam.

My cardiologist thinks

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/11/2016:  14:45:39

a gallon of turpentine a day will clean out the offending clogs.

Speaking of clogs

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/12/2016:  02:29:12

I went to see the Midwest Clogers dance last Sat night.

They did very well untill

OM45GE - Posted - 10/12/2016:  02:47:10

a group of renegade cloggers burst in and took over  the dance floor. 

Nobody knew what 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/12/2016:  06:57:50

to call their odd looking clogs that were made of wood.

Not only that, but

OM45GE - Posted - 10/12/2016:  07:30:56

they were speaking in a foreign tongue that none of the home cloggers understood.

They are starting to think

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/13/2016:  02:46:59

that they invented the clog dance.

But wasn't it Fred and Ginger that

OM45GE - Posted - 10/13/2016:  03:10:57

who danced in a puddle caused by a clogged drain?

That wasn't the only 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/13/2016:  08:27:59

bonding experience Rogers and Astaire had, but the word's mum about others.

Fred acquired his deft footwork

OM45GE - Posted - 10/13/2016:  11:10:21

from a pawnshop down the street from the MGM studios.

He also bought

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/13/2016:  12:00:11

"teach yourself to dance" books.

The buck dance was

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/13/2016:  12:03:35

in vogue until the gals won out with the doe dance.

If you step on your date's toes

OM45GE - Posted - 10/13/2016:  12:23:06

you will probably not get a second date, let alone get to second base.

You may want to consider

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/14/2016:  10:25:20

a coarse in ballroom dancing, but don't ware your cowboy boots to the bawl.

Cattle often bawl

OM45GE - Posted - 10/14/2016:  10:40:28

when the cowboys are sneaking around in the pastures.

They get kinda lonely and

Rossanne - Posted - 10/14/2016:  13:23:55

..call in at 'Randys Saloon' where booze is cheap,,and the women are so kind and helpful...

Later Barney became so drunk,an' out of his skull that he..

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/14/2016:  13:29:12

asked one of the cows to marry him.

I think she declined because

Rossanne - Posted - 10/14/2016:  13:42:29

..she was drunk as well,,and didn't want to decide hasty thoughts..

Blarneys friend Hank, thought this was a odd of Barney,,'cos he knew Barney was already married to Mary, the local neighborhood cow.

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/14/2016:  13:45:41

,who had gone dry 4 months ago.

Bovine cravings for

OM45GE - Posted - 10/14/2016:  20:30:49

human companionship is difficult to understand. 

For one thing, 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/15/2016:  03:10:02

Barney doesn't give any milk.

Nor does the cow give

OM45GE - Posted - 10/15/2016:  04:09:44

any meaningful contributions to philosophical debates. 

They tend to 

eljimb0 - Posted - 10/15/2016:  06:42:10

chew grass and release methane like most ungulates.

Under no circumstances ever

Rossanne - Posted - 10/15/2016:  07:18:24

get into ant disagreements with Barney.

Later at the local ranch Rodeo, Ma Kettle fixed up a ride for...

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/15/2016:  08:05:33

the calf roping competition, but the calves went on strike.

It seems they hate