OM45GE - Posted - 01/18/2022:  14:43:37

he racked a shell into the chamber.

To make sure I got the message, he also

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/18/2022:  16:04:34

shot me with his “Homeowner Special High Voltage 2000 Limited Edition Taser”.

If that wasn’t

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/18/2022:  17:02:55

enough his battleaxe wife put me in a headlock.



She plyed her trade

Edited by - chuckv97 on 01/18/2022 17:03:19

OM45GE - Posted - 01/19/2022:  02:41:28

as a roller derby blocker until she was banned for excessive roughness.

She used all of her

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/19/2022:  06:11:01

saved up money to buy a faded blue, low mileage, 1965 Studebaker Commander with high performance Sky Bolt 6 cylinder engine.



She hit the road

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 01/19/2022 06:11:27

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/19/2022:  11:44:29

face first when she ran into the back of a semi trailer.

The resulting trauma

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/19/2022:  13:00:27

left her dazed and confused, as well as disfigured.

It’s been several weeks

OM45GE - Posted - 01/19/2022:  17:55:56

since I lost my car keys.

Fortunately, I

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/19/2022:  17:59:06

left my car running all that time.



The nerdy attendant at the gas station

Edited by - chuckv97 on 01/19/2022 18:02:06

OM45GE - Posted - 01/20/2022:  02:42:38

told me I should have a raccoon tail on my radio antenna.

I pointed out that most modern cars don’t have external antennas, but

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/20/2022:  08:11:57

I invited him to my birthday party where we will play “Pin the Tail on the Donkey”.

I’m curious

OM45GE - Posted - 01/20/2022:  17:42:25

what donkeys think of that game.

I wouldn’t want

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/21/2022:  05:00:45

a pin in my A$$, even if I was an A$$.

Sometimes I wonder

OM45GE - Posted - 01/21/2022:  08:35:50

why the other animals tolerate us.

They’ve got us outnumbered and

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/21/2022:  10:25:18

they’re not letting us know about their underground resistance movement.

If all hell breaks loose

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/21/2022:  16:42:25

we will have to hide in our outhouses until things simmer down.

Maybe

OM45GE - Posted - 01/21/2022:  18:03:37

it would be better to negotiate an equitable settlement.

I’m not sure

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/21/2022:  19:16:37

if I’m alive or dead.

Those Jerry Garcia solos

OM45GE - Posted - 01/22/2022:  02:29:25

make me grateful for the Dead.

Their concerts

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/22/2022:  07:29:27

had all of the Dead Heads "Truckin" cross country to see them.



Makes a guy wonder

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 01/22/2022 07:31:23

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/22/2022:  08:14:01

why I’m not famous & rich.

My spinster Aunt Penelope always said that money was the root

OM45GE - Posted - 01/22/2022:  18:19:55

of boll weevils.

I don’t think she

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/23/2022:  07:48:17

she ever wore skivvies because all of her furniture had plastic coverings.

Once when I

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/23/2022:  15:49:25

visited her clothesline was laying on the ground.

A murder of crows

OM45GE - Posted - 01/23/2022:  16:14:53

looked on from the branches of a towering Tamarack.

They appeared to be

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/24/2022:  05:55:00

sizing me up for an aerial attack.

Little did I know

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/24/2022:  07:01:39

that Aunt Penelope he’d fired rock salt at them for months now.

They had

OM45GE - Posted - 01/24/2022:  12:17:23

finally had enough.

They all headed

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/24/2022:  15:19:04

over to the dumpster behind Jimmy’s Lunch to wait for noon lunch scraps.

Their preference

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2022:  03:24:01

was for slices of pizza and baked goods.

Soups were not

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/25/2022:  04:37:53

as healthy as we once thought, based on their high sodium content.

It’s amazing

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/25/2022:  11:28:31

how my ticker likes to speed up at times.

My sawbones

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/25/2022:  14:47:30

is from England and thinks “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

I can’t

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/25/2022:  14:52:25

understand Bay Staters and the way they announce hockey games saying Oah instead of Orr , and talking about the town of Woostah.

Last time I delivered meat there

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2022:  17:48:01

I asked them where the Worcestershire sauce was made.

They looked at me like

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/26/2022:  05:06:19

I was a side dish they hadn’t ordered.



I knew right then

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 01/26/2022 05:06:43

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/26/2022:  07:24:38

they’d pegged me as a dumb Canuck.

Next time

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/26/2022:  10:14:09

maybe I'll have better luck if I trade my rabbit skin cap for a Stetson and say “Y’all” instead of “EH”.



Or possibly 

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 01/26/2022 10:16:19

OM45GE - Posted - 01/26/2022:  11:25:10

I should just accept that there’s no place like home.

That is one reason

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/26/2022:  12:58:55

the border has such an effect on migrating swans.

They fly with a purpose

OM45GE - Posted - 01/26/2022:  14:13:57

Which they keep to themselves.

They can be extremely

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/26/2022:  15:28:09

elusive, even with a 10’ wingspan, and form monogamous partner relationships that can last for life.

When

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/26/2022:  16:58:12

the goose lays the golden egg I’ll be there.

Sometimes my sense of reality

OM45GE - Posted - 01/26/2022:  17:59:01

is a little unrealistic.

I often think that

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/26/2022:  23:34:28

a truckers convoy will get hit by lake-effect blizzards north of Lake Superior.

Then the roosters will have come home

OM45GE - Posted - 01/27/2022:  02:38:50

to the henhouse only to find that a fox had beat them to it.

It was

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/27/2022:  06:21:08

the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,......



Sometimes

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 01/27/2022 06:22:52

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/27/2022:  08:11:13

my English classes with Mrs. Lindsay are like bad nightmares.

Shakespeare had me baffled

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/27/2022:  11:13:22

and Kurt Vonnegut was verboten.

That left me