chuckv97 - Posted - 09/18/2015:  09:35:01

a believer in an alternate 5th dimension, where men are men and all the girls are above average.

Woodchoppers in Minnesota

jistgreg - Posted - 09/18/2015:  11:57:52

quote:

---

Originally posted by chuckv97

 

a believer in an alternate 5th dimension, where men are men and all the girls are above average.



Woodchoppers in Minnesota

---

are all made of tin. 

They should have been more careful  

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/19/2015:  02:34:05

in letting Johnny spread all those apple seeds around.

But Johnny was young and full of energy so

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/19/2015:  12:51:19

many a young lass followed him over hill and dale to watch him spread his seeds.

Mother and apple pie

OM45GE - Posted - 09/19/2015:  15:23:29

the latest act down at the local strip club. 

Mother takes three apple pies and

Edited by - OM45GE on 09/19/2015 15:23:48

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/20/2015:  02:20:58

four peach cobblers to the church dinner.

Only Uncle Virgil can tell which

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/20/2015:  06:50:57

Church lady has a checkered past.

His days of sowing wild oats

Scaggs7 - Posted - 09/20/2015:  18:12:04

has never ended

my last

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/21/2015:  02:11:13

oat fell out 4 days ago.

And there is no refills on that because

OM45GE - Posted - 09/21/2015:  03:40:36

I've been told I exceeded my oat sowing quota many years ago. 

It doesn't seem

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/21/2015:  04:28:53

to bother any of my bodily functions.

There was a time when I could play banjo well enough to

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/21/2015:  05:28:55

be a legend in my own mind.

My neighbo(u)rs,however,

Scaggs7 - Posted - 09/21/2015:  19:48:14

thought very different about it though

the last dog I had

jistgreg - Posted - 09/21/2015:  20:01:25

was a sowing machine. 

He wasn't broke, but I had him 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 09/21/2015:  20:11:06

chained up anyway

let's talk about

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/21/2015:  21:32:48

outlawed topics like religion, politics and Canadians.

The last time I got in a pickle

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/22/2015:  04:24:43

the whole situation went sour.

If there's 1352 guitar pickers in Nashville,then why

OM45GE - Posted - 09/22/2015:  06:55:31

do aspiring musicians still go there?

You would think

Edited by - OM45GE on 09/22/2015 06:57:38

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/22/2015:  08:53:53

McDonalds would love to have all those unemployed pickers flipping burgers.

However many end up

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/22/2015:  11:31:52

flopping instead of flipping.

This causes one to wonder if

OM45GE - Posted - 09/22/2015:  18:13:24

banjo playing could be used to diagnose stupidity. 

It would be useful

Scaggs7 - Posted - 09/22/2015:  19:59:40

if I just disappeared

have you ever had a dog like

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/22/2015:  21:45:00

Huckleberry Hound, who talks with a twang and never fetches your slippers?

A dog without

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/23/2015:  03:57:35

slipper fetching knowledge will never be a man's best friend.

My old coon dog (Queen of The Woods) never once faltered while

OM45GE - Posted - 09/23/2015:  09:52:00

while fetching slippers or beer. 

However, once she figured out how to open the beer

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/23/2015:  18:50:33

I had to buy 2 cases instead of one.

She was a good drinking partner but

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/23/2015:  19:43:42

ended up in canine rehab where they don't allow any hijinks.



Chasing 'coons while three sheets in the wind

Edited by - chuckv97 on 09/23/2015 19:44:17

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/24/2015:  03:00:15

will make the other dogs jealous.

But when she finally "trees" that coon, she's going to

OM45GE - Posted - 09/24/2015:  03:28:16

want some of the hooch you've been hoarding. 

After a few snorts she will

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/24/2015:  10:24:15

head for the house,leaving you to deal with the coon.

When your best coon dog is a sot,remember that

OM45GE - Posted - 09/24/2015:  13:48:22

they usually learn from their owners so don't be too quick to get angry. 

At least they don't 

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/24/2015:  16:01:03

talk about themselves all night.

They talk about other dogs that once

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/24/2015:  17:01:57

or twice gave them the hairy eyeball at the canine convention.

A mongrel is

OM45GE - Posted - 09/25/2015:  04:36:56

is sort of the same as a mutt with a subtle difference in meaning. 

However, the dogs don't 

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/25/2015:  09:47:35

care who is who when the females are in heat.

According to statistics,the Beagle dog is the only dog that can

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/25/2015:  11:53:03

run in circles for hours chasing its tail, due to a hyper disposition.

Many beagles will

OM45GE - Posted - 09/25/2015:  14:25:48

disguise themselves as great white sharks and swim near shore just to frighten the heck out of beach goers. 

On more than one occasion they have

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/25/2015:  15:11:39

peed in the ocean.

Of course their owners didn't

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/25/2015:  15:54:13

take ownership of the faux pas, because their urination denial was air tight.

Too many swimmers

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/27/2015:  01:14:42

resulted in stirring up the water.

That made it impossible to trace the

OM45GE - Posted - 09/28/2015:  03:32:09

urine back to the beagle who peed it. 

The dogs didn't care because

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/28/2015:  05:28:42

the lifeguard said::HAVE FUN!!

So they just peed anywhere they

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/28/2015:  05:32:12

reckoned would annoy the high class bathers from Snobsville.

Never park overnight

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/29/2015:  02:08:43

if you don't have a girl with you.

And never have a girl with you if

OM45GE - Posted - 09/29/2015:  03:38:00

you are gong to a guys night out. 

I tried that once and 

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/29/2015:  04:49:03

ended up with black eyes and without a girl friend.

Then I hit the road

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/29/2015:  07:04:48

running and didn't look back.

The adrenaline was pumping so I

OM45GE - Posted - 09/30/2015:  03:28:53

ran all the way from Fort Pierce to Seattle Washington.

By the time I got there

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/30/2015:  05:38:43

I was kinda hungry.

I searched around the kitchen for