jistgreg - Posted - 05/07/2015:  10:46:33

wear clean underwear, as you never know when you might get run over by an ƎƆИA⅃UᙠMA. 

Astound your friends; confuse your 

OM45GE - Posted - 05/07/2015:  12:44:14

family, mystify your spouse and alarm your children.

Change your

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/07/2015:  13:55:29

will leaving everything to Scotty.

They called the police on him because

OM45GE - Posted - 05/07/2015:  13:58:05

he turned out no to be the man he claimed to be.

It was a case of

Elmo_Smiley - Posted - 05/07/2015:  14:37:21

Mistaken indemnity. He was not the one listed on the insurance policy.

But the person that was...

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/07/2015:  18:56:49

listed was a wandering hobo without a fixed address.

Insurance payouts to hobos

jistgreg - Posted - 05/07/2015:  23:39:33

with broken, unfixed addresses are becoming less of a rarity. 

They've installed shelves at the insurance company to hold all the 

OM45GE - Posted - 05/08/2015:  03:51:31

claim folders. 

Once on the shelf, 

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/08/2015:  04:13:36

the folder is subject to public viewing.

Now on the other hand,,Elliot Ness said

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/08/2015:  04:41:50

"Rico, let's go to the Stadium and watch the Blackhawks manhandle the Rangers".

Frank Nitti's son is often in the sin bin

jistgreg - Posted - 05/08/2015:  10:32:27

carousing with Sinbin the Sailor. 

It would seem more logical to carouse with Caruso, who 

Edited by - jistgreg on 05/08/2015 10:33:38

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/08/2015:  12:02:49

struck out on the 3rd down.

It is possible that I have my games mixed up with checkers but

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/08/2015:  20:11:17

checkmate and body checks seem to be good tactics, no matter what you're playing.

My gal pal body checks

jistgreg - Posted - 05/08/2015:  22:01:16

her mirrors before backing up, and has almost never run anyone over. 

I'll admit "body" is an unorthodox name for a "gal pal"  if 

OM45GE - Posted - 05/09/2015:  06:20:21

you will admit she has a beautiful body. 

I only wish she would

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/09/2015:  11:07:26

buy some store bought teeth, because gumming her way through a hot dog at Fenway is embarrassing.

My gum tolerance

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/10/2015:  15:20:12

is next to zero.

Sipping cider through a straw requires

jistgreg - Posted - 05/11/2015:  03:20:04

a) cider and b) a straw. 

Try sipping cider through a straw in a drug store these days and 

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/11/2015:  05:41:54

they'll phone Sgt. O'Riley, because they figure you're sipping the cough syrup off the shelves.

Now, take maple syrup, for instance

OM45GE - Posted - 05/11/2015:  05:59:07

, which requires a substantial amount of maple sap, which in turn requires a lot of maple trees.

This can be problematic if you

Elmo_Smiley - Posted - 05/11/2015:  09:14:51

have no knife and bucket, or no maple trees for that matter; 

But Mrs. Butterworth is always at the ready...

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/11/2015:  09:22:28

don't have any maple trees.

The most important issue about boiling the syrup is

jistgreg - Posted - 05/11/2015:  09:47:31

putting dem cabbage in at the same time, so it can bile at the same time as the syrup. 

While this is going on, you might want to turn dem hoe-cake 

OM45GE - Posted - 05/11/2015:  15:56:35

except that hoes don't really like to be called "cake".

It's sort of a personal

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/11/2015:  17:00:54

affront to all those "hoes-ers" up north of the Lake Erie shoreline.

"Cake" often refers to

jistgreg - Posted - 05/12/2015:  01:25:05

Madiera, a firm yet light sponge cake in traditional English cookery. 

Madeira is a fortified Portuguese wine made in 

OM45GE - Posted - 05/12/2015:  04:28:15

, not surprisingly, in the Madeira Islands of Portugal. 

I like to use Madeira wine in

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/12/2015:  08:54:32

Mulligan stew down at the rail yard hobo jungle, where heartbroken men speak in hushed murmurs.

The next freight

OM45GE - Posted - 05/12/2015:  11:38:55

will bring another load of bindle stiffs, all looking so horn in on my territory.

If they think the can

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/12/2015:  18:42:36

get away with this,they have another think coming.

I'm gonna report them to

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/12/2015:  23:41:05

the Hobos,Bindle Stiffs,and Freight Hoppers Union - they have regulations to deal with these issues.

A striking hobo

OM45GE - Posted - 05/13/2015:  07:22:14

is a sight to behold.

They wear

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/13/2015:  08:28:31

tattered tie-died shirts with Union shoulder crests, and carry home made picket signs as they sing "The Hobo's Lullaby".

Gathering on the railroad tracks in protest

OM45GE - Posted - 05/13/2015:  10:24:08

was a short-sighted form of civil disobedience that ended abruptly when the 1:30 express to Kansas City came thundering through.

The hobos were

jistgreg - Posted - 05/13/2015:  11:33:28

divided in their opinions, to say the least.  

I haven't seen so much division since 

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/13/2015:  11:38:12

since 6th grade math class.

My first grade teachers name was Mrs.Hobbinsack and she

OM45GE - Posted - 05/13/2015:  11:38:20

I attended boot camp at Camp Pendleton.

The divisions there were

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/13/2015:  12:20:50

of the bootless variety, with forced marches through swamps in bare feet.  

KP consisted of

Edited by - chuckv97 on 05/13/2015 12:21:40

jistgreg - Posted - 05/13/2015:  13:40:49

Kafkaesque Paranoia. 

At least that's classier 

OM45GE - Posted - 05/14/2015:  04:11:40

classier way of saying "Scared witless".

Actually, no one expected to

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/14/2015:  07:02:34

survive the first round of horror movies , especially without the use of sedatives.

But soldier on we did

OM45GE - Posted - 05/14/2015:  07:51:44

and soon found ourselves standing at the concession stand.

We were arguing

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/14/2015:  08:47:20

to see if we should all get sno-cones or not.

But the Captain said

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/14/2015:  09:38:52

"The only cones we use is the 'Cone Of Silence'- you men know this is a top secret mission."



"Here's some hardtack

Edited by - chuckv97 on 05/14/2015 09:39:33

OM45GE - Posted - 05/14/2015:  12:54:13

and sour milk for lunch, and no whining you pusillanimous pack of ruffians.

I've not seen your like since

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/14/2015:  13:14:28

the last time we met.

This is the same old oil drum that

OM45GE - Posted - 05/14/2015:  13:52:25

we used to stir the sour mash for the still.

I wonder if

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/14/2015:  19:29:36

the still is still sitting in the stillness of yonder woody hillside.

Buford,the Revenooer,

jistgreg - Posted - 05/14/2015:  20:12:39

is still sitting, propped up against an oaken barrel with a foolish grin on his face. 

His habit of doing "research"