OldBlindGuy - Posted - 09/11/2018:  14:40:51

to skin a cat.

I haven't really found any use for

OM45GE - Posted - 09/11/2018:  18:11:30

the surplus thermonuclear devise I bought at a yard sale.

It’s a bit extreme

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/11/2018:  19:39:22

for ridding my acreage of groundhogs.

Perhaps it’ll come in handy

OM45GE - Posted - 09/12/2018:  03:23:37

the next time I light the charcoal grill.

I usually use the flamethrower, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/12/2018:  19:55:06

my hands end up in blisters after throwing those flames.

Give me a 5 cent beer

OM45GE - Posted - 09/13/2018:  03:30:21

and I’ll still want change from a twenty dollar bill.

Either that, or I’ll start

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 09/13/2018:  04:18:07

my bike and go riding off into the sunset.

Which is pretty hard to do at 6:00 am

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/13/2018:  05:08:05

out on the interstate in the morning.

Fellers,don't try this at home because

OM45GE - Posted - 09/13/2018:  07:42:59

your family will realize the extent of your insanity.

Then they will

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/13/2018:  08:59:28

tie you up until the men with white labcoats arrive.

They will perform

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/13/2018:  12:21:54

all manner of tests on your body.

But if you don't scream,they will

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/14/2018:  18:07:22

twist your jewels with vice grips until you do.

Most lab-coated scientists

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 09/14/2018:  19:17:50

have never played an accordion while sitting naked in a bathtub full of Jello.

According to national surveys,

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/15/2018:  04:41:42

nobody has done that.

They just keep hoping that someday

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2018:  05:19:55

an electric accordion will fry some numbskull.

Polkas are verboten

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2018:  07:21:27

in the old folks home after a series of tragic incidents.

Old Mrs Grabski

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/15/2018:  10:37:49

still wears her red satin western shirt and boots.

She shouts UMP-A,,UMP-A and runs

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 09/15/2018:  10:47:37

the table when shooting eight ball.

None of the other residents will

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2018:  11:13:54

play pool with her.

They’ve all lost

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2018:  12:00:27

their shirts and liederhosen to that gal.

Some are wondering whether to

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2018:  13:40:36

hire a pool shark to come in and try to win their things back.

The problem will be

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/15/2018:  14:28:32

Getting someone who doesn't know her.

Anyway she'll be surprised when

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2018:  17:56:39

Minnesota Fats’ grandson shows up.

They’ll cart him in with a wheelbarrow

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2018:  19:01:05

and dump him unceremoniously in the corner where he will belch loudly and ask for his cue stick.

At that point, everyone will

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/16/2018:  01:53:44

go to their tables and sit down.

When the game starts,all those remaining

OM45GE - Posted - 09/16/2018:  03:10:54

will collectively hold their breaths.

When they start turning blue,

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/16/2018:  05:07:22

That's when Fats stands up.

Then everyone takes a deep breath and

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/16/2018:  09:21:32

and holds it til the stench from his stinkin’ butt has dissipated.

But don’t be fooled -

OM45GE - Posted - 09/16/2018:  12:11:08

that stench is his secret weapon.

No one can sink the eight ball

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/16/2018:  12:25:14

as long as Fats is standing

But just wait untill

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/16/2018:  16:29:30

he collapses under his own weight.



Too many buster bars

Edited by - chuckv97 on 09/16/2018 16:31:40

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/17/2018:  04:45:45

made poor Fat's like he is.

Don't let it

OM45GE - Posted - 09/17/2018:  06:54:34

color your feelings about him as a person.

He’s really quite

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/17/2018:  08:01:00

a nice feller.

But don't cross his body guard because

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/17/2018:  08:19:04

he’ll send you into next week.

Banking eight balls

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/17/2018:  10:24:31

is his specialty.

Don't let him bowl you over without

OM45GE - Posted - 09/17/2018:  10:53:44

calling your primary car physician and alerting the emergency room.

That way you won’t have to wait when

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/17/2018:  12:58:30

your lungs have collapsed and your elbow is in 10 pieces.

Ask your sawbones

OM45GE - Posted - 09/17/2018:  18:58:19

if he can preserve your spleen in a jar.

It will make an interesting

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/18/2018:  04:13:37

conversation piece.

Why do baseball players always grab themselves when

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/18/2018:  05:23:09

the TV cameras are on them?

I was taught

OM45GE - Posted - 09/18/2018:  06:58:15

to do my crotch grabbing discretely.

Then Michael Jackson

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/18/2018:  10:06:45

started using a white glove to touch himself???

But he was whacky and full of

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/18/2018:  10:19:13

canned spinach.

Gary, Indiana has produced

OM45GE - Posted - 09/19/2018:  04:41:22

more than it’s share

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/19/2018:  04:50:07

of distracted game players.

Four words are

OM45GE - Posted - 09/19/2018:  04:58:57

not enough to express the chagrin one feels when caught posting in the wrong game.

It’s almost enough to make

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/19/2018:  05:03:17

a guy bite his forearm in frustration.

It’s either that or

OM45GE - Posted - 09/19/2018:  05:10:31

change his avatar and pretend it never happened.

That might not work if