OM45GE - Posted - 11/07/2016:  02:51:55

doing his own version of it on the glockenspiel. 

It took him

Forrest - Posted - 11/07/2016:  06:42:02

67 days, 14 hours, 3 minutes and 57 seconds to work up HSH in all 12 major and 12 minor keys.  

This made Thomas a minor celebrity 

OM45GE - Posted - 11/07/2016:  07:48:03

amongst glockenspiel and marimba players around the known universe.

He may even be a celebrity in the unknown universe, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/07/2016:  09:56:02

that's for Art Bell to decide.

There seems to be a magnetic force

OM45GE - Posted - 11/07/2016:  12:21:35

that has somehow attracted all of my picks, loose change and the remote to my TV.

That may not be all,

Forrest - Posted - 11/07/2016:  16:44:18

as I feel this subtle, yet constant attraction to the TV on a personal level, which causes me to stare at it for hours on end, receiving messages beamed directly to my brain via my eyeballs.

These messages frequently cause me to

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/07/2016:  18:40:08

see visions of personal grandeur and glory, but my shrink says to just give my head a shake.

So I went to the Dairy Queen

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/08/2016:  02:32:29

and Burger King was there eating a hot dog.

He said;;"You guys should never

OM45GE - Posted - 11/08/2016:  03:13:28

interrupt a King and Queen at dinner. 

I would have you beheaded but

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/08/2016:  04:29:45

my guillotine needs sharpening.

If you ever cross my drawbridge

OM45GE - Posted - 11/08/2016:  05:38:24

you had better be bearing gifts and they had better be good ones.

We've been given a lot of crap over the years and the castle is

Forrest - Posted - 11/08/2016:  17:01:53

not as dumpy or as small as the azzhats over at White Castle keep saying 'cause they're just jealous.

If I had my way, 

OM45GE - Posted - 11/08/2016:  17:50:00

I could add it to my sizable collection of ways, which is the envy of way collectors everywhere. 

A few whey collectors

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/08/2016:  19:32:18

became way/whey to obsessed over their collection activities.

Curdling became the order of the day

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/09/2016:  01:21:47

when Hillary's plan went sour.

Never mind that now,,just do

OM45GE - Posted - 11/09/2016:  02:50:33

your best to stay positive. 

Music is always a good way to

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/09/2016:  06:01:01

escape the escapades of excruciating experiences.

I'm obsessed with a letter

OM45GE - Posted - 11/09/2016:  06:41:12

that arrived a few days ago from a Nigerian Prince who was trying to get several hundred million dollars out of the country.

He needs my help but

Forrest - Posted - 11/10/2016:  11:55:50

his spelling and grammar are so atrocious that I can't make out the gist of what he was trying to say, beyond something about a dead uncle and getting out of the country, blah, blah, blah.

What I really want to do is

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/10/2016:  11:59:17

wash my hands of the whole matter and beat a hasty retreat to the Aleutians Islands.



I have enemies

Edited by - chuckv97 on 11/10/2016 11:59:42

Forrest - Posted - 11/10/2016:  13:37:22

almost everywhere these days, mainly because of my habit of impersonating a Nigerian Prince and sending out letters, emails and phone calls trying to get people to help me move fictitious money.

Just the other day, someone tried to

OM45GE - Posted - 11/10/2016:  16:43:46

get me to reveal my actual location. 

They almost succeeded until I

Forrest - Posted - 11/10/2016:  17:58:52

realized that they truly were a Nigerian Prince and as such clearly had lots of money to be exported to other locales. 

My ploy almost succeeded

OM45GE - Posted - 11/11/2016:  03:14:32

until the recent election which resulted in sharply curtailed immigration and my princely benefactor was turned back at the border. 

My dreams of wealth have

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/11/2016:  03:15:06

till the uncle came back from the dead and spilled the beans on the whole plan.

Never trust an uncle to stay dead because

OM45GE - Posted - 11/11/2016:  03:25:02

they may actually be zombies. 

Zombie uncles are

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/11/2016:  05:27:42

ones that never become senile and leave their moolah to unscrupulous nephews.

My 90year old aunt, however,

Forrest - Posted - 11/11/2016:  07:13:33

the worst kind of zombies, because they come over for the holidays, put their feet on the coffee table, break wind and take long naps.

Zombies are under rated

OM45GE - Posted - 11/11/2016:  12:37:48

as companions.

If you meet their basic needs, they

Forrest - Posted - 11/11/2016:  13:21:10

can be surprisingly useful, especially if you can get over their limited vocabulary, tendency to want to eat your brain and the smell.

Speaking of smell

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/11/2016:  14:20:09

someone told me a lot of you'se guys use cologne INSTEAD of taking a shower, rather than after a shower.

Some day my rectal orifice

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/12/2016:  03:11:00

will no longer require preparation H.

All the Rinos have left Florida because

OM45GE - Posted - 11/12/2016:  05:10:18

of the Rhino repellent I've spread in my backyard. 

It seems to work on Cape Buffalo too because 

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/12/2016:  07:34:02

they've been reported speeding up the I-95 heading for Cape Breton.

I have a funny feeling that many of us are losing our minds

OM45GE - Posted - 11/12/2016:  12:26:26

which makes me worry about who will find mine and what they will do with it. 

I wouldn't want them to

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/12/2016:  15:35:04

try to re-calibrate it.

My mind is worth about $950,000 on black market because

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/12/2016:  16:12:20

$949,000 just isn't enough to buy me an acre in the Everglades.

Someday I'll donate my

Forrest - Posted - 11/12/2016:  17:22:12

brain for medical research because a mind like mine must have some special attributes or other properties to explain my super powers.

My brain will surely reveal

MWBailey - Posted - 11/12/2016:  19:55:23

which superpower is responsible for making my refrigerator light come on when the door is closed.

I know that it does so, since

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/12/2016:  20:13:43

the bulb is hot every time I touch it after opening the fridge.

A mind like mine is a terrible thing to

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/13/2016:  03:57:03

mess around with.

There might be some way to

OM45GE - Posted - 11/13/2016:  04:20:43

use it for peaceful purposes. 

Maybe they should 

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/13/2016:  08:21:30

send me to global hotspots armed with a quiver of peace pipes from the Lakota Reservation.



If we all stop inhaling,

Edited by - chuckv97 on 11/13/2016 08:22:03

OM45GE - Posted - 11/13/2016:  16:09:12

we will asphyxiate ourselves. 

Some may say that is 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/14/2016:  03:56:24

what keeps some folks full of hot air.

But we all know why the Canucks

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/14/2016:  07:37:30

quit inhaling , it's because the country was going to pot.

Not too long ago there was a haze over Ottawa

OM45GE - Posted - 11/14/2016:  18:38:41

that blocked out the sun. 

They called it 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/15/2016:  02:49:56

the Ottawa block out.

Bill Clinton said he didn't

OM45GE - Posted - 11/15/2016:  02:59:23

intend to create a haze over Ottawa, but that was where the party was. 

Speaking of celebrating,