chuckv97 - Posted - 04/01/2020:  06:45:35

not downright exciting.

My blood pressure

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2020:  06:55:08

hasn't been this low since I stopped smoking weed.

It is something of a

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/02/2020:  04:41:52

task to grow your own.

But if you keep trying,you might

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2020:  05:22:27

come up with a decent product.

The competition from

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2020:  12:44:39

1970’s back-to-the -landers is stiff.

Free samples are often

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2020:  17:11:33

not really free, especially if you have a deadly allergic reaction.

That’s not as

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/03/2020:  12:54:53

bad as spontaneous combustion.

Especially if you're in the middle of a solo

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2020:  13:09:01

and your Stratocaster bursts into flames due to your hot licks.



Never lick your pick fingers before playing a  plugged-in steel guitar

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/03/2020 13:10:03

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2020:  15:58:00

lest you electrocute yourself.

The audience will

Bill Rogers - Posted - 04/03/2020:  15:58:35

or you might give a new meaning to “fire on the strings.”

The complexity of pedal steel guitars

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2020:  16:22:33

(seniority rules)

was enough to send Professor Irwin Corey around the bend.



His shrink

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/03/2020 16:24:41

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2020:  04:03:20

told him he was crazy and Irwin said he wanted a second opinion.

His shrink said

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/04/2020:  04:32:32

and you're ugly too.

I get no respect

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2020:  05:35:20

, but I guess that’s to be expected.

I come from a family

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/05/2020:  14:04:58

where love was a four-letter word.

My neighborhood birds sang bass

Bill Rogers - Posted - 04/05/2020:  14:21:05

because they could.

Turkey vultures can reach

OM45GE - Posted - 04/06/2020:  03:22:53

an impressive range when they set their minds to it.

Unfortunately, they’re usually

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 04/06/2020:  06:42:14

hanging around deadbeats that have no ambition.

With a little motivation, they could

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/06/2020:  07:40:18

out-vulture the most ambitious of the eagle family.

Never let it be said

OM45GE - Posted - 04/06/2020:  08:58:33

that birds of a feather always flock together.

Sometimes they prefer

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/06/2020:  11:17:31

cages.

Free meals

OM45GE - Posted - 04/06/2020:  11:19:49

are a wonderful thing if you are starving.

They’re also pretty good when

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/06/2020:  11:43:45

you're saving up for a banjo.

I might sell

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/06/2020:  12:00:38

my wooden leg for a bottle-cap banjo.

I would go busking but

OM45GE - Posted - 04/06/2020:  12:25:46

the last time I did I ended up in handcuffs.

Even worse,

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/06/2020:  13:01:26

I might get extradited to Russia.

But I didnt bring up

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/06/2020:  13:18:47

the time I stowed away on a Russian steamer bound for Vladivostok.

The vodka flowed freely

OM45GE - Posted - 04/06/2020:  16:14:50

as much as I can remember.

I don’t actually

Bill Rogers - Posted - 04/06/2020:  18:09:32

know for sure.

I did wake up in

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/06/2020:  19:15:07

a tuxedo.

A pocketful of gambling chips in my pocket

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/06/2020:  19:23:20

and an old lipstick tube was all I had to my name.

My Don Juan days might be over

Bill Rogers - Posted - 04/06/2020:  20:51:21

but the nights are just beginning.

I parlayed those chips

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2020:  03:41:33

into a cup of coffee and a stale cruller.

It was the most

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/07/2020:  09:30:08

happy I've seen any waitress.

I did save one

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/07/2020:  14:17:06

chip for her tip, and an inside tip for “Hasty Gallop” at the local racetrack.

Once I get my fortunes turned around

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2020:  14:41:19

I called my wife and told her to pack her bags.

She asked what sort of clothes she should pack and I told her

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/07/2020:  16:57:36

workboots and overalls.

We pulled into the farm

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2020:  17:55:33

and I could tell by the look on her face that she was not pleased.

The steam coming out of her ears was a giveaway but the real sign was

Bill Rogers - Posted - 04/07/2020:  17:56:55

just as a typical midwestern thunderstorm hit.

We ran for the

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/07/2020:  18:02:03

outhouse but a sudden bolt of lightning disintegrated it.

The smoldering stinking pile

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2020:  04:02:50

looked like a portal to hell in my fevered imagination.

I wonder what my therapist

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/08/2020:  04:25:27

would prescribe for this.

But then I stepped in some Texas tea

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2020:  05:22:10

and was suddenly transported to 750 Bel Air Road in Los Angeles.

I was next to

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/08/2020:  08:48:25

Jethro Bodeen’s 5 million dollar shack.

I hired Lester and Earl

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2020:  11:42:20

to play at my birthday party.

They politely

Bill Rogers - Posted - 04/08/2020:  14:27:11

declined, citing previous obligations.

But i was able to hire

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/08/2020:  14:35:12

John Hartford and Glen Campbell.

Gentle on my mind

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/08/2020:  14:41:09

were those halcyon days basking in the lap of luxury.

Speaking of laps, my sweetie just bought a lap dog

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/08/2020:  15:56:00

but it isn't to darn friendly, done bit me twice.

I wanted a new banjo but she