OM45GE - Posted - 03/25/2016:  12:13:12

is a mixture of toilet bowl cleaner and paint remover.

It's quite effective but

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/25/2016:  14:24:38

will cause your nose to turn wrong side out!

Also her big toes are

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/25/2016:  18:04:09

topped with the sharpest toenails known to man or woman.

Never sleep without shinpads

jistgreg - Posted - 03/26/2016:  01:40:32

or you may find yourself with corrugated shins. 

Speaking of corrugated, how long have you been living in that refrigerator box under 

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/26/2016:  04:23:31

farmer Browns corn crib?

He would probably give you a job if

OM45GE - Posted - 03/26/2016:  08:16:07

he didn't think you were a shiftless low life with no ambition at all. 

You may be about to

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/26/2016:  09:05:11

lose your refrigerator box home..

The Salvation Army will help if

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/26/2016:  09:58:42

you admit your shortcomings and promise to wear their military style hat while tolling the bell at Christmas.



Never take their kettle to the freightyards

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/26/2016 09:59:05

OM45GE - Posted - 03/26/2016:  10:23:12

as you will never get out of there with it. 

The bindlestiffs will

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/26/2016:  10:49:14

ride you on down the rails.

To make a long story short they might even

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/26/2016:  11:08:19

initiate you into their sordid community of loafers.

Reading the manifest

jistgreg - Posted - 03/26/2016:  20:46:46

of the freight trains will not yield the number of passengers. 

Punch, brothers, punch with 

OM45GE - Posted - 03/27/2016:  04:25:53

determination and with all your strength for you may not get another chance. 

You don't want to

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/27/2016:  12:13:46

end up in Sgt. O'Hara's jail cell eating Mrs. O'Hara's cooking.

Give me wine or give me

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/27/2016:  14:21:28

the key to the liquor cabinet..

Don't go off half cocked,,stay untill

OM45GE - Posted - 03/28/2016:  03:22:30

you are completely cocked and unable to lie on the sidewalk without holding on.

When the room is spinning

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/28/2016:  05:13:50

keep your eyes shut and think of Marie Osmond.

Wine'os only get drunk once because

OM45GE - Posted - 03/28/2016:  07:43:43

once they're drunk, they stay drunk.

That is, until they

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/28/2016:  09:39:13

become alcoholics.

All women from 1937 untill the present time get

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/28/2016:  10:18:09

free sacramental wine from the nuns at the Convent.

Ten percent of nothing

OM45GE - Posted - 03/29/2016:  04:50:07

isn't any better than 0% of everything.

You're still left with

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/29/2016:  10:54:43

a big fat zero and a dysfunctional personality.

My shrink keeps

OM45GE - Posted - 03/29/2016:  11:45:06

thanking me for how messed up my childhood was.

He never could have afforded

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/31/2016:  17:42:55

that around the world trip without my donations..

When he gets back,he'll probably

OM45GE - Posted - 03/31/2016:  18:03:46

tell me I need another ten years of therapy. 

That's ok as long as I can

Edited by - OM45GE on 03/31/2016 18:04:13

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/31/2016:  22:26:31

travel with him on his luxurious cruises.

A nut and his shrink are

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/01/2016:  02:39:39

very good advertisement.

He wants to go to Lincoln Park Zoo and

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/01/2016:  08:19:29

psycoanalyze the lion tamer to assuage his wife's grave concerns about his underlying death wish.

Never feed a nut to

J e f f - Posted - 04/01/2016:  18:42:13

a naked Nebraskan noodle farmer.

Nothing is nuttier than Peter Noone's

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2016:  03:24:03

prurient infatuation with Mrs. Brown's daughter. 

He's been seen lurking

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2016:  06:41:22

in the Brown's backyard walnut tree to see into the house.

Noone was a British invader

J e f f - Posted - 04/02/2016:  08:09:24

and the son of Ralph Nader.

Ralph Nader's father, Darth Vader, made his fortune by

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2016:  13:40:22

buying used Corvairs at distress sale prices and reselling them overseas. 

He also sold

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2016:  14:35:09

his soul to the devil at a Mississippi crossroads one night.

His mediocre guitar skills ,however,

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2016:  15:26:05

did not improve in the  slightest which made the deal a pretty poor one. 

He did, however 

JackAlbany - Posted - 04/02/2016:  15:31:49

learn to whittle a dead replica of Steve Jobs. Forsaking the high road

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2016:  15:41:48

and wallowing in the gutter with the rest of his musician cronies. 

None of them had sold 

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2016:  16:41:47

their wives' bodies to make ends meet, but they often said,"There's always tomorrow,babe".

A musician delivering flyers

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2016:  17:23:40

is exposing himself to even more abuse than usual. 

Especially if they play

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2016:  19:53:30

kazoo or jaw harp with the symphony.

Upper crust folks

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2016:  11:47:35

don't seem to appreciate those instruments as much as I do. 

Perhaps they

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2016:  12:20:07

should loosen their corsets and let it all hang out.

Loose lips

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2016:  16:23:20

can be corrected surgically but at fairly great expense and with considerable pain. 

You might be better off

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2016:  20:54:47

wearing a mouth guard and learning sign language.

One sign you shouldn't learn

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2016:  14:11:24

can't be mentioned on a family site like the BHO. 

I can give you a hint, it's 

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/04/2016:  14:57:40

related to a bird and Flip Wilson.

The devil made

OM45GE - Posted - 04/05/2016:  04:54:43

flip the bird at the driver in the other car.

I think he knew it was a car full of

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/05/2016:  11:08:42

nuns going to wild bird sanctuary.

Never confuse Huns and nuns

OM45GE - Posted - 04/06/2016:  03:26:26

because confused Huns and nuns can both be difficult to reorient. 

I used to call my ex-wife "Hun", which she thought was short for "Honey" but