jacot23 - Posted - 09/09/2020:  16:00:40

that I carry my deflated lady over my shoulder.

I'll never make

OM45GE - Posted - 09/09/2020:  17:28:53

husband of the year at this rate.

Perhaps I should lower

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/09/2020:  18:25:25

my ambitions and become “Sucker-of-the-Year” at the JP Barnum Memorial Awards show on Coney Island next spring.

I’ll take Sammy the Sword Swallower with me

jacot23 - Posted - 09/09/2020:  19:59:23

as he's always a big hit.

Hope doesn't set the car on fire or

OM45GE - Posted - 09/10/2020:  03:50:03

some other attention grabbing stunt.

I remember the time he

jacot23 - Posted - 09/10/2020:  04:54:30

tried throwing swords instead of swallowing them.


Thankfully no one

OM45GE - Posted - 09/10/2020:  05:10:10

Another than nine fingers Louis was injured.

Of course, Louis will

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/10/2020:  05:45:36

always thereafter play the theme of Beethoven’sNinth Symphony on the piano.

Leaving out the odd note

OM45GE - Posted - 09/10/2020:  08:02:21

here and there and hoping nobody notices.

So far, it’s worked

xmark - Posted - 09/10/2020:  09:38:29

since the the audiences are typically quite small...and "how small are they?", you might ask.

They're so small

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/10/2020:  10:06:12

that they could fit into a 1959 VW Beetle.

The Beetles

OM45GE - Posted - 09/10/2020:  10:43:34

powered the windshield washer off the air pressure in the front tire.

I learned this the hard way when

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/10/2020:  11:39:23

driving through a sleet storm on the MassPike with a soft tire.

I drove right under a semi

OM45GE - Posted - 09/10/2020:  12:13:31

and out the other side.

I enjoyed the fresh air, but the

jacot23 - Posted - 09/11/2020:  04:33:08

near beheading was kinda scary.

I think I'll get rid of

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/11/2020:  05:21:18

all my cars and opt for a Vespa scooter.

They get 100 mpg

OM45GE - Posted - 09/11/2020:  08:48:38

which is unite a bit better than most other vehicles.

I like the wind in my hair and

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/11/2020:  08:52:40

my wife out of my hair.

I won’t let her ride with me

OM45GE - Posted - 09/11/2020:  09:01:00

unless she promises not to fake brake.

She also has to

xmark - Posted - 09/11/2020:  09:10:53

agree to keep my goggles clear when it rains since I don't have a windshield any more.

I generally avoid riding in the rain now because

OM45GE - Posted - 09/11/2020:  10:58:40

of my pledge to never bathe again.

That’s not going as well as I

jacot23 - Posted - 09/11/2020:  11:03:51

thought it might.

My wife has stopped

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/11/2020:  11:24:12

clipping her toenails.

My shins are a bloody mess

jacot23 - Posted - 09/11/2020:  13:38:28

but not from here toenails.


They're that way because...

OM45GE - Posted - 09/11/2020:  13:57:01

of the damn stray cats she keeps bringing home.

There must be

jacot23 - Posted - 09/11/2020:  14:38:07

20 of those dang critters.


I hate to, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/11/2020:  16:38:35

I might have to drown a few of’em.

The last cat I tried to drown

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/11/2020:  19:55:44

used me for a pin cushion, what claws they have.

I spent the next few months

xmark - Posted - 09/11/2020:  21:05:39

bathing in Neosporin (since I rarely bathe with water).

The swelling has finally receded and I can see again, but

OM45GE - Posted - 09/12/2020:  04:22:54

I’m starting to crave tuna fish and have been peeing in a sandbox.

I’ve also developed

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/12/2020:  06:25:13

a taste for mice.

Next time I see Jerry and Tuffy

xmark - Posted - 09/12/2020:  08:02:07

the motives for my interest in them might be expressed a little differently than before.

I'm also experiencing an increasing desire for mid-day naps

OM45GE - Posted - 09/12/2020:  10:01:17

which I like to take curled up in a sunny spot on the living room carpet.

One thing I don’t like

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/12/2020:  12:02:48

is being interrupted by that whiny Rover.

He’s always worried

OM45GE - Posted - 09/13/2020:  06:01:47

that he’s not everyone’s favorite.

His insecurity is getting

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/13/2020:  08:44:18

annoying to the point of intolerance from the feline union.

Maybe a good strong dose of

OM45GE - Posted - 09/13/2020:  11:24:25

reality will do him some good.

Personally, I prefer

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/14/2020:  15:08:07

wasabi with my egg rolls.

My neighbour celebrates Chinese New Year

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2020:  03:59:17

even though she’s not Chinese.

I think it makes her

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2020:  06:59:12

Korean hubby annoyed.

We often play Chinese Checkers

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2020:  07:02:14

but I suspect her of cheating.

I’m not sure how

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/15/2020:  07:14:50

how she cheats.

After all she is blind in one eye and

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2020:  07:25:04

can’t see out the other.

Coke bottle glasses

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/15/2020:  07:40:13

with vintage blue plastic Pepsi Cola glasses frames.

Makes a person wonder

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2020:  09:19:58

who her optometrist is.

They certainly have eclectic

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2020:  09:39:23

pop bottle loyalties.

Dr. Pepper told me

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2020:  10:15:59

that Coke and Pepsi were poisoning everyone who drank them.

His own libation however,

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2020:  11:16:06

is only a mild, pleasant euphoria-inducing beverage with absolutely no side effects.

He also offered me a share in some a Florida real estate

OM45GE - Posted - 09/16/2020:  03:58:44

but for some reason I could only view the property at low tide.

I suspect that he’s