OM45GE - Posted - 10/15/2014:  14:33:53

a substantial trust fund is something most of us banjo players will never understand.

We are fortunate to have

Edited by - OM45GE on 10/15/2014 14:34:05

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/15/2014:  14:41:54

enough trust in our audience not to throw tomatoes at us.

However,life insurance

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/15/2014:  15:39:26

premiums are rising at a terriffic rate.

Why I remember just 65 years ago when

OM45GE - Posted - 10/15/2014:  15:56:03

insurance companies paid us to offer coverage.

Of course, that business model proved

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/15/2014:  19:29:47

the undoing of many a CEO,some of whom ended up in soup kitchens.

Persona non grata

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/16/2014:  01:21:52

for all their efforts.

Now then,,,which of us can say that the

jistgreg - Posted - 10/16/2014:  02:00:37

stone cast first was cast by the sinless? 

If a person didn't do anything wrong 

JohnN - Posted - 10/16/2014:  04:41:58

then why would they have to sit next to the fiddle player?

I only have one

jistgreg - Posted - 10/16/2014:  05:20:22

tentacle (did I spell that right?) 

Someday, I'll have two or three 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/16/2014:  05:30:06

and perhaps one day I'll graduate to join the octopi.

I'm not sure I really

oliver james - Posted - 10/16/2014:  05:34:18

spelt octopi right.
now im thinking that it might be octopuse, but then again

JohnN - Posted - 10/16/2014:  05:51:45

who really cares? It's not like all the 8 armed mollusks are going

to hire lawyers because their reputations

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/16/2014:  05:56:13

were besmirched and dragged through the mud.



Speaking of dragging,

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/16/2014 05:56:37

jistgreg - Posted - 10/16/2014:  06:24:11

the record for the fastest 1/4 mile ever by a drag racer was 3.58 seconds at 386 mph (621.61 km/h) . 

Speaking of records, 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/16/2014:  07:08:55

I have gone for seven minutes without thinking about sex...dang

There goes the 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/16/2014:  07:42:09

seven year itch and all of its implications.



Speaking of itch

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/16/2014 07:43:12

oliver james - Posted - 10/16/2014:  07:51:37

most girls love a guy with a rapidly spreading rash.

i know this because

OM45GE - Posted - 10/16/2014:  08:17:25

my girlfriend left me saying she would prefer someone with a rapidly spreading rash to me. 

That was right before

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/16/2014:  08:24:43

she rashly jumped into a relationship with a leper.

Her wishes came true

JohnN - Posted - 10/16/2014:  09:14:23

when I got my thing stuck in the vacuum cleaner.

Since that time I haven't been able

oliver james - Posted - 10/16/2014:  09:59:11

sweep any of the floors properly

but with my engineery mind i was able

JohnN - Posted - 10/16/2014:  10:04:28

to get myself unstuck with the use of a turkey baster and my laser pointer.



I will never

Edited by - JohnN on 10/16/2014 10:05:25

OM45GE - Posted - 10/16/2014:  10:23:59

try that particular stunt again.

However, I've got my eyes on the

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/16/2014:  10:37:52

mannequin in the window of the Chez Boutique store.

I think

OM45GE - Posted - 10/16/2014:  10:47:01

she might be open to a relationship and considerably safer than the vacuum cleaner.

I'm not sure what to

JohnN - Posted - 10/16/2014:  10:52:41

wear to try to impress her. She must be a French mannequin  because

Edited by - JohnN on 10/16/2014 10:54:01

OM45GE - Posted - 10/16/2014:  12:12:05

she doesn't seem to understand anything I say to her in English.

I may need to find a

JohnN - Posted - 10/16/2014:  12:19:50

doctor because her head is missing. I can't believe that no one else

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/16/2014:  12:21:43

has noticed her handicap.

But the good fairy came by and

OM45GE - Posted - 10/16/2014:  12:22:01

waved her magic wand and suddenly her head was back in place.

She still doesn't

Edited by - OM45GE on 10/16/2014 12:22:41

JohnN - Posted - 10/16/2014:  12:23:12

remember the pole that was helping her to stand.



That must have hurt to

Edited by - JohnN on 10/16/2014 12:24:25

oliver james - Posted - 10/16/2014:  12:57:20

she is definately an Eiffel

she stares at me for hours and i wonder

JohnN - Posted - 10/16/2014:  13:34:07

if she wants me for my money or my good looks!

I still think it must have hurt to have that pole

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/16/2014:  14:19:37

placed in a sensitive area,despite her checkered past.

I wonder if

JohnN - Posted - 10/16/2014:  14:57:07

they put axle grease on it before they inserted it.



I always

Edited by - JohnN on 10/16/2014 14:58:03

OM45GE - Posted - 10/16/2014:  15:07:08

put axle grease on poles before I insert them.

I guess I'm just naturally

JohnN - Posted - 10/16/2014:  16:01:13

a good looking axle grease salesman.

There are so many other axle grease salesmen, but none as famous as

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/16/2014:  16:14:53

Axl Rose, who greased his own palm by hoodwinking unsuspecting music consumers.

Clean your CD's

JohnN - Posted - 10/16/2014:  16:21:10

with axle grease, wash your car with axle grease, you can even use it as shampoo!

Brush your teeth with it!



Axl told me about how he once covered his whole

Edited by - JohnN on 10/16/2014 16:22:38

jistgreg - Posted - 10/16/2014:  16:54:46

with axle grease, what else?  

One Thanksgiving, he basted the turkey 

JohnN - Posted - 10/16/2014:  17:02:00

with lava



Good thing his whole was covered with axle grease. He darn near

Edited by - JohnN on 10/16/2014 17:04:24

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/16/2014:  18:37:00

wore out the toilet seat with his rectal explosions.

Never enter

jistgreg - Posted - 10/16/2014:  19:02:45

a man's Inner Rectum when what you want is his Inner Sanctum. 

They're two different things, and you'd better 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 10/16/2014:  19:07:14

make sure you understand before you come my direction

my other side said I should

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/16/2014:  19:35:35

turn the other cheek.

Let me tell you

jistgreg - Posted - 10/16/2014:  19:46:50

I'm running out of cheeks. 

Since when are The Three Stooges 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/17/2014:  03:12:50

coming to a theater near you?

I thought they only

BigC - Posted - 10/17/2014:  03:29:30

wore those dark sunglasses, so you can't tell the were staring at the Hooters.
This confused me to the point of

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/17/2014:  03:47:36

going to the movies to see Kit Carson.

If it wasn't