OM45GE - Posted - 07/19/2015:  10:27:51

your personal petting toy. 

Oh, wait a minute, that feels good, please

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/19/2015:  12:53:44

continue, but let's go out behind the barn.

Barnyard education

OM45GE - Posted - 07/19/2015:  14:20:40

is a lot more fun than schoolroom education. 

For one thing, 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/20/2015:  02:49:08

we found out that Grandpa keeps his "jug" hidden in the woodpile.

Then Sarah Mae told us that she didn't have any

OM45GE - Posted - 07/20/2015:  04:50:10

birth control left and that we had better get some because she was planning a busy weekend.

We immediately loaded up the car and

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/20/2015:  06:58:23

headed for parts un-known.

Clint Eastwood made some good movies but

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/20/2015:  14:16:36

he left his heart on the dusty plains filming Rawhide.

Changing his name from Yates to Callahan

jistgreg - Posted - 07/20/2015:  23:58:38

resulted in a lot of people asking, "Callahan who?" 

You remember, he was dirty and hairy 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/21/2015:  03:40:07

while someone "made his day".

I was glad when Pale Rider came riding into

jistgreg - Posted - 07/21/2015:  09:20:49

the saloon, shouting for a Pale Ale for his horse and a pail of beer for himself. 

You can't get excitement like that 

OM45GE - Posted - 07/21/2015:  10:42:22

just hanging around with a bunch of banjo enthusiasts.

They're liable to

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/21/2015:  13:53:04

to go off on a "hillbilly" tangent.

I remember my pappy saying,,Son,

OM45GE - Posted - 07/21/2015:  14:12:32

of all my children, you are one of them.

I wasn't sure what

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/21/2015:  16:36:30

my high school shop teacher meant when he told us that we are going to plan our work,,
then we are going to work our plan.

Some fun that Mr. Payne,,once he

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/21/2015:  19:16:33

got irate at a student and threatened to shove him into the brake press.

Luckily somebody yelled "FIRE!"

jistgreg - Posted - 07/21/2015:  23:47:24

at will!" 

As you can imagine, Will 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/22/2015:  02:00:51

ended up with 43 holes in him.

But old Doc Holiday was there and

OM45GE - Posted - 07/22/2015:  05:27:32

and filled the holes with wood putty and some chewing tobacco.

Unfortunately, he forgot

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/22/2015:  05:56:17

the duct tape,, so Doc used super glue to hold the putty and tobacco in place.

Then,about that time,Bat Masterson said to Doc,,

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/22/2015:  13:52:29

"Listen Doc, I get this pain in my butt when I ride the range."



To which Doc replied

Edited by - chuckv97 on 07/22/2015 13:53:32

jistgreg - Posted - 07/22/2015:  16:19:30

"Turn off the burners and let them cool down before you get up on the range, or better yet, Get A Horse. 

"Horses travel farther than ranges, and you can 

Edited by - jistgreg on 07/22/2015 16:20:29

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/23/2015:  02:19:38

eat them when they get to old to travel.

But they do make good kennel-ration and they

OM45GE - Posted - 07/23/2015:  06:46:26

are useful as an ingredient in horse hide glue. 

They're not very thrilled about

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/23/2015:  08:16:30

your end game plans for them, but a bit of oats and molasses helps them digest the bitter facts of life.

A cowpoke and his cayuse

OM45GE - Posted - 07/23/2015:  08:26:17

might make an interesting photo opportunity but you better make sure they've both signed a modeling release form. 

If you don't, they are liable to 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/23/2015:  09:06:51

sue you for improper proceedings.

Don't get the cart before the horse because

jistgreg - Posted - 07/23/2015:  11:04:30

quote:

---

Originally posted by banjoscotty

 

sue you for improper proceedings.



Don't get the cart before the horse because

---

if you get the cart first, you won't have anyone to pull it. 

If you have enough pull with your Congressional delegation, 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/23/2015:  11:41:13

you could bribe one of them to represent you in court.

Maybe that would shut Judge Judy up long enough to

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/23/2015:  12:17:27

to hear the damning testimony of Blind Bill Barker, an eye witness of impeccable character.

"Judy, Judy, Judy"

jistgreg - Posted - 07/23/2015:  12:21:51

-- "Chucky, Chucky, Chucky! " 

You can catch more flies 

Edited by - jistgreg on 07/23/2015 12:22:41

OM45GE - Posted - 07/23/2015:  17:51:20

with an outfielder's mitt than you can with a China teacup.  

You can also

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/23/2015:  21:06:25

ask your gal pal , "Fly me to the moon" ,as the glow from the wine makes a fool of you.



Whispering sweet nothin's

Edited by - chuckv97 on 07/23/2015 21:07:20

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/23/2015:  21:21:02

in my ear will get you nothing

You know what I mean when I say

jistgreg - Posted - 07/23/2015:  22:20:29

"Oo ee oo ah ah, ting, tang, walla walla bing bang!" 

All it needs is an accompanying 5-string, and 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/24/2015:  03:49:39

someone else to sing it.

Sorry Greg, Maybe you can take a few voice lessons and

OM45GE - Posted - 07/24/2015:  07:11:05

stop scaring the neighborhood cats every night.

They can be quite critical

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/24/2015:  07:31:16

of out of pitch howls and sour sweet nothings in the heat of the night.

Carnegie Hall and cats

jistgreg - Posted - 07/24/2015:  08:13:17

are two tough audiences. 

When I make a mistake, they 

OM45GE - Posted - 07/24/2015:  12:53:41

have been known to hack up furballs and urinate on the furniture.

The cats are even worse, they will

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/24/2015:  20:02:12

come loose at the seams in a free for all

ever tried to

jistgreg - Posted - 07/24/2015:  21:15:25

get yourself an iron-clad lead for yourself on a three-rail billiard shot? 

But just as I say, it takes judgment, brains and maturity to 

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/24/2015:  22:26:35

outfox the rounders down at Tiny's Pool Room.

Never tell them

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/25/2015:  02:44:17

you are a hustler.

They will get very angry and

OM45GE - Posted - 07/25/2015:  04:31:50

throw a hissy fit and a poll player throwing a hissy fit isn't a very pretty sight. 

For one thing, they

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/25/2015:  05:01:56

like to bash you with the pool stick.

And they will beat you up after they

jistgreg - Posted - 07/25/2015:  06:03:19

draw straws to see who gets to wear the brass knuckles. 

Drawing 

OM45GE - Posted - 07/25/2015:  06:21:25

straws is not the easiest way to decide on something like who gets to wear the brass knuckles. 

I prefer

Edited by - OM45GE on 07/25/2015 06:21:46

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/25/2015:  06:58:10

to not hackle about anything and get the job done.

And watch out for his buddy because

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/25/2015:  12:20:45

he'll sneak up behind you when you're busy leading with your chin, and snatch your wallet.

Good wholesome fun