OM45GE - Posted - 07/23/2018:  06:36:27

gnawed on Phil’s tibia.

Maybe I’ll

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/23/2018:  08:30:49

take cipherin' lessons and learn the number "four".

My grade two teacher

Omeboy - Posted - 07/23/2018:  08:51:25

suddenly walked into the studio and yelled: "Who brought that damn alligator in here??!!!"
She was now a big studio mogul and ordered all of us to leave.

But what she didn't know was that . . . . .

OM45GE - Posted - 07/23/2018:  11:49:39

what was a rambunctious seven year old in her classroom had turned into a rebel without restraint.

I stood up and told her

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/23/2018:  12:05:04

"You've slopped your dripper again, Teach!"

With that she flung

OM45GE - Posted - 07/23/2018:  13:04:06

a piece of chalk at me and told me to write "I will obey my teacher's every wish, no matter how kinky it may seem" 100 times on the blackboard.

I told her blackboards had been replaced by white boards and she

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/24/2018:  04:40:10

gave me a piece of black chalk.

She said there you go smarty pants,,see if

OM45GE - Posted - 07/24/2018:  05:20:58

that will work for you.

I wondered where in the world she

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/24/2018:  08:38:34

acquired black chalk, but she asked if I'd ever heard of the Black Cliffs of Dover.

I told her my Vera Lynn LP's

OM45GE - Posted - 07/24/2018:  09:59:47

reminded me of my time flying Spitfires in the Battle of Britain when we felt a sense of relief when the Cliffs of Dover came into view.

However, my recollection was that they were

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/25/2018:  03:07:24

on the western shore of Ireland.

But it made no difference because

OM45GE - Posted - 07/25/2018:  04:27:21

I had had enough of the fighting and planned to take up beekeeping as soon as I landed.

The life of an apiarist isn’t

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/25/2018:  07:38:35

something that sends newsrooms abuzz.

Many feel-good animal story reporters

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/25/2018:  07:54:32

are animal lovers.

But that's just not

OM45GE - Posted - 07/25/2018:  11:30:38

a conflict of interest.

It can also call into question their ability to

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/25/2018:  14:21:37

discern dangerous chickens from friendly tigers.

Film at 6

OM45GE - Posted - 07/25/2018:  18:21:50

followed by a discussion session and refreshments.

Just don't ask us to

Omeboy - Posted - 07/25/2018:  19:22:29

baptize any bobcats or circumcise any crocodiles. He aren't prepared for that.

And besides, we have previous commitment to start . . . . .

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/25/2018:  21:05:49

a new club advocating the elimination of banjoists.

Their infernal clattering

OM45GE - Posted - 07/26/2018:  03:45:46

and obsession with prewar Gibsons has pushed non-banjoists over the edge.

The 1:00 AM practicing

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/26/2018:  05:13:22

session produced only after market banjos and
Japanese pickers.

Maybe now they will be more

OM45GE - Posted - 07/26/2018:  06:50:57

open mic sessions planned during normal times.

I hope they will serve

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/26/2018:  08:10:55

hot tamales and tequila next week.

Pickles and Polish sausage

OM45GE - Posted - 07/26/2018:  13:21:53

are another great selection but they already had them last week.

They don't like to

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/27/2018:  03:54:41

eat and then try to play and sing so they eat around 2:00 in

the morning.....

Then we go home about

Edited by - banjoscotty on 07/27/2018 03:55:31

OM45GE - Posted - 07/27/2018:  04:00:09

4:00, take a quick shower and head out again.

No one knows how long we can keep this up, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/27/2018:  06:53:10

the Guiness people ( records and beer) are keeping tabs ( no standard notation, pls) on the situation.

Participants collapsing before

OM45GE - Posted - 07/27/2018:  07:05:13

we break the record will be dragged out back and dumped next to the trash bins.

Hopefully they will

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/28/2018:  03:22:49

recover and go on home.

If they don't go,then they are

OM45GE - Posted - 07/28/2018:  07:23:30

sure to be picked up by the trash truck early tomorrow morning.

Then it's off to the landfill where they

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/28/2018:  09:55:46

can sift through mountains of personal bank information documents.

A dump can be advantageous

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/28/2018:  12:38:43

if you know what to look for.

I once found a hammer that

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/29/2018:  11:40:48

had a broken claw.

No sense pulling nails

OM45GE - Posted - 07/30/2018:  04:32:46

unless you’re trying to extract a confession.

Even then, there are

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/30/2018:  04:35:40

certaln CIA rules that need to be followed.

Neglecting to do so will get you into

OM45GE - Posted - 07/30/2018:  04:42:31

hot water, which, come to think of it, might be a nice method to extract information.

Of course, that’s probably

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/30/2018:  06:02:06

a method already in use.

But some do just "blabber mouth" and

OM45GE - Posted - 07/30/2018:  08:03:37

tell everything they know without any "persuasion".

That takes all the fun out of

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/30/2018:  09:25:22

Being a Russian spy.

Of course they can always return to

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/30/2018:  09:26:53

Siberia and mush dogsleds.

A Russian Nutcracker

OM45GE - Posted - 07/30/2018:  09:56:40

isn't what you think.

It is, in fact, a young woman from Saint Petersburg with

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/30/2018:  15:25:49

nuts to crack.

The only thing that isn't involved is

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/30/2018:  18:03:33

a vice squad infiltrator.

I often crack my nuts

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/31/2018:  03:06:06

after pounding they for about 6 or 7 minutes.

Some nuts take longer to crack but that's

OM45GE - Posted - 07/31/2018:  04:47:25

just a minor problem that can be easily overcome.

“Easily”, that is, if you have a

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/31/2018:  08:38:59

50 ton press handy in your garage.

Peanuts have been kicked to the curb

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/31/2018:  09:47:42

because they aren't counted for much.

But there's always a homeless

OM45GE - Posted - 07/31/2018:  12:02:56

nut collector who will value them.

The difficult part is separating the

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/31/2018:  13:12:31

brown skins from the nutty legume.

My remedial English lessoms