banjoscotty - Posted - 11/15/2016:  07:17:25

at the U.S. Canadian border to watch the celebration.

Trump will be there to

OM45GE - Posted - 11/15/2016:  08:25:46

tell us how much he loves Tiddly Winks players as long as they're here legally.

This is the first time Tiddly WInks and politics have been

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/15/2016:  15:03:17

mentioned in the same sentence, although tiddly wink players might take offense.

My local member of Parliament lied

OM45GE - Posted - 11/15/2016:  15:07:35

when he said he never inhaled but I don't really care. 

I figure

Forrest - Posted - 11/16/2016:  09:07:39

he/she must be one cool dude/dudette if they've imbibed in "you know what."

And by "you know what," 

OM45GE - Posted - 11/16/2016:  12:17:55

I mean the herbaceous substance that was recently legalized here in Massachusetts.

The law goes into effect December 15th, but some residents

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/16/2016:  13:21:23

have jumped the gun and have emptied the shelves of doritos.

Willie's canni-bus

OM45GE - Posted - 11/17/2016:  02:43:52

was being prepared with plans to park it near the food trucks downtown until they were denied a permit. 

The town said mobile pot sales were

Forrest - Posted - 11/17/2016:  11:25:43

projected to go up, like the smoke from the activities they cause to grow, not unlike weed(s) or grass.

The sales of snack foods and eye drops are projected to 

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/17/2016:  11:47:14

rise to meteoric heights, followed by a severe up-tick in tokers' ticker surgeries.

Dim lights and thick smoke

OM45GE - Posted - 11/17/2016:  13:39:55

are all I remember of my teenage years.

I wonder what

Forrest - Posted - 11/18/2016:  06:38:19

was in that smoke to cause me to have those thoughts and dreams of my youth?

I've had this weird craving for

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/18/2016:  09:00:28

pickles and ice cream even though I haven't seen Mary in years.

My pappy was a pistol

OM45GE - Posted - 11/18/2016:  11:41:07

, at least that's what Mom called him because he was always loaded and liked to shoot off his mouth.

I think Mom wanted

Forrest - Posted - 11/18/2016:  13:56:03

more from life - to move to Paris, become a lesbian and live the Bohemian life.

But alas, 

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/18/2016:  19:25:01

yes, a lass from the Highlands caught her eye and she hasn't been the same since.

She's been spotted

OM45GE - Posted - 11/19/2016:  03:40:12

walking hand in hand with her girlfriend along the banks of the Seine and sipping cafe au laits at sidewalk boites. 

It really seems an idyllic 

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/19/2016:  21:06:11

life, but her demons keep her awake at night.

You see, she only pretends to

OM45GE - Posted - 11/19/2016:  21:08:27

to be a human being. 

In fact, she is

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/20/2016:  07:04:06

an unrepentant fraud, having escaped from a primate nudist colony.

The missing link

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/20/2016:  14:59:19

is actually in the "daisy chain".

She has been searching for

OM45GE - Posted - 11/20/2016:  17:50:32

her true identifier some time now. 

Perhaps one day

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/20/2016:  17:54:50

I can live a life of leisure and relaxation.

My first order of business

OM45GE - Posted - 11/20/2016:  17:57:17

is clearing up a little issue of fraud at my university. 

After that I can

Forrest - Posted - 11/20/2016:  20:37:57

let my mother know she's really a shaved chimpanzee living in a human's world. 

Mom will surely be

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/20/2016:  20:47:51

logging into "ancestry.com" to discover more details of her sordid past.

Being an offspring

OM45GE - Posted - 11/21/2016:  02:58:12

of non-human primates isn't all it's cracked up to be. 

For one thing, 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/21/2016:  03:03:48

Chuck's chimp is running loose some place.

That chimp is in

OM45GE - Posted - 11/21/2016:  03:14:57

a terrible state after being cut from teams in several sports. 

His dreams of

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/21/2016:  05:50:57

making it in the Congo big leagues have been dashed on the rocks of disappointment.

Perhaps coal mining is a better option

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/21/2016:  06:09:46

for those in his position.

Never give up the ship,,it might

OM45GE - Posted - 11/21/2016:  07:08:30

be the only one you have.

Getting stranded mid-ocean

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/21/2016:  07:14:46

is a fate I once wished for my ex-wife.  

It won't be long now

OM45GE - Posted - 11/21/2016:  12:39:15

is the punch line to a joke about what does the mohel say. 

Not everyone

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/21/2016:  15:40:25

knows what a mohel is, but then not everyone's from New England.

There seem to be gaps in my

OM45GE - Posted - 11/21/2016:  16:20:27

memory large enough to drive a tractor trailer through.

In fact, I have

Forrest - Posted - 11/21/2016:  16:57:06

a mind like a sieve, a very leaky sieve to be more precise. 

I often wonder if

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/21/2016:  21:27:22

I really work here, or am I contributing my expertise to our competitors.

People are giving me the hairy eyeball

OM45GE - Posted - 11/22/2016:  02:40:55

so I'm hoping to find a hairy eyeball recipe. 

I wonder what 

Forrest - Posted - 11/22/2016:  04:56:41

hairy eyeball tastes like and whether it's better in a soup or stew. 

There's nothing more rude

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/22/2016:  06:45:33

than standing up in a restaurant and loudly exclaiming, "Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!".

Usually the chef appears with a meat cleaver

OM45GE - Posted - 11/22/2016:  08:57:55

and threatens to leave more than your hair in the soup. 

This may be a good time to 

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/23/2016:  07:20:21

pull out your bear repellent spray and douse the entire restaurant.

Judge Callahan might

OM45GE - Posted - 11/23/2016:  09:16:42

not see the humor in the situation.

That may cause him to

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/24/2016:  22:36:53

throw the proverbial book at you.

Not many escape

OM45GE - Posted - 11/25/2016:  04:17:46

from the gravitational pull of a black hole once they've strayed too close.  

I was able to 

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/25/2016:  07:29:59

claw my way free from the black hole in yonder pasture.

Moonlighting as a goat herder

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/25/2016:  12:03:58

is very profitable for me.

I was mooning the mayor when

OM45GE - Posted - 11/25/2016:  16:34:17

I was suddenly stricken with explosive diarrhea. 

The mayor was