OM45GE - Posted - 10/30/2021:  17:20:06

so comfy that I had a nice nap on the way to the station.

When I woke up I realized

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/30/2021:  18:59:48

they’d thrown me into a holding cell with murderous-looking felons.

One asked me for a cigarette

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 10/31/2021:  11:52:13

so I snuffed mine out on his forehead and offered him the stub.

Well,

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2021:  14:24:32

the next thing I know I’m lying on the floor with a bloody nose and two missing teeth.

My plan seems to have

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/31/2021:  14:35:18

gone awry ever since I met with Loving Lolita, the fortune teller.

Her crystal ball

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2021:  14:36:14

was cracked and covered in grease.

It looked as though

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/01/2021:  05:22:09

I was in a tight situation in Tutor Turtles world of hurt.

I was ready to yell

OM45GE - Posted - 11/02/2021:  03:23:03

for help when I remembered how isolated her house was.

I think she

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/02/2021:  07:19:57

has skeletons in her closet.

I phoned Amnesty International

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/02/2021:  07:59:31

but dialed the wrong number and ended up talking to an Aryan Nation representative.



Realizing my mistake

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 11/02/2021 08:00:47

OM45GE - Posted - 11/02/2021:  09:45:26

was easy once I heard the inane verbal diarrhea coming from the other end of the call.

It would have been funny except

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/02/2021:  11:59:31

he said his last name was Goebbels.

I think I’ll head for the hills

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/02/2021:  13:51:40

, far away from the madness of frankfurters and beans.

I’ve decided

OM45GE - Posted - 11/02/2021:  14:22:50

not to procrastinate any more.

I’m not going to do it right away because

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/02/2021:  14:26:22

why rush into it.

Look before you leap

OM45GE - Posted - 11/02/2021:  14:34:43

is great advice if given in a timely manner.

It’s not much good

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/03/2021:  07:50:04

when your already airborne.

That could

OM45GE - Posted - 11/03/2021:  12:52:52

gain you an entry into the Darwin Awards.

Of course, you

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/03/2021:  15:49:04

can ask me to borrow you $20.

That doesn’t mean

OM45GE - Posted - 11/03/2021:  17:14:02

I have it or will give it to you if I do.

I’m not inclined

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/04/2021:  05:30:11

to be neither a lender or a borrower.

Esposito’s Savings & Loans

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/04/2021:  05:59:52

currently has a great borrowing rate.

Call

OM45GE - Posted - 11/04/2021:  12:18:03

1-800-Loan Shark and have your first born, your left arm and the title to your house ready.



Be prepared for

Edited by - OM45GE on 11/04/2021 12:18:20

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/04/2021:  15:58:21

a cold harsh winter.

La Niña

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/04/2021:  16:55:12

has been blamed for much frostbite on the northern prairies.

People in Saskabush

OM45GE - Posted - 11/04/2021:  18:20:57

tend to stay in Saskabush.

They don’t know

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/05/2021:  04:38:56

that they are pretty lucky just staying put.

The outside world

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/05/2021:  06:37:39

can be cruel at times.

Why, just yesterday

OM45GE - Posted - 11/05/2021:  07:09:56

a bird of paradise flew over me which was exciting until it pooped on my head.

If that wasn’t bad enough,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/05/2021:  10:43:57

my wife was afraid of the dark until she saw me naked, now she’s afraid of the light.

I get no

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/05/2021:  23:05:09

respect.

When I apply for a job

OM45GE - Posted - 11/06/2021:  05:11:06

I have to hope they don’t ask to many questions, especially since the incident.

It isn’t

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/06/2021:  06:29:38

that I’m terribly disfigured, but customers at the pet store where I used to work, keep asking the clerk how big I’ll get.



Im getting

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 11/06/2021 06:30:48

OM45GE - Posted - 11/06/2021:  10:31:55

tired of so-called comedians telling me Halloween is over so I can take my fright mask off.

They don’t seem to realize

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/06/2021:  15:33:23

how terribly hurtful this can be.

No wonder

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/06/2021:  16:23:57

people scatter when they see me approaching.

I always get the back bench seat on the bus

OM45GE - Posted - 11/06/2021:  17:28:36

which affords me a nice vantage point for people watching.

If the diesel fumes get too bad I

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/07/2021:  04:53:08

hold my breath until I turn blue which enhances the effect of my appearance.

At that point

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/07/2021:  07:06:10

all bets are off.



Those old also-ran nags at the racetrack

Edited by - chuckv97 on 11/07/2021 07:06:30

OM45GE - Posted - 11/07/2021:  09:50:13

have cost me most of my life savings.

My ex-wife

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/08/2021:  10:15:09

is into my affairs for the next life’s savings I had planned to earn.

That just

OM45GE - Posted - 11/08/2021:  11:06:58

confirms what I always thought.



She’s definitely not

Edited by - OM45GE on 11/08/2021 11:07:19

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/08/2021:  13:08:34

an old establishment-eschewing hippy gal.

Her tie-dyed t-shirts

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/08/2021:  15:51:47

conveniently fit just a bit too tightly accentuating mammoth mammaries.

Her Daisy Dukes

OM45GE - Posted - 11/08/2021:  17:17:55

were so tiny she had to buy tampons with shorter strings.

It was all quite

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/08/2021:  20:36:31

revealing and shocking to my pastor.

His response

OM45GE - Posted - 11/09/2021:  03:00:22

involved prayer and telephoto lenses.

I think he was

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/09/2021:  05:53:25

squirreling away his paycheck to purchase a used Buick Roadmaster.



It seems

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 11/09/2021 05:53:49

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/09/2021:  06:36:35

everyone wants to relive their glory years at lovers lane.

Personally, my memories