banjoscotty - Posted - 10/24/2016:  03:17:37

we went to the antique shop together.

Then she wanted to

OM45GE - Posted - 10/24/2016:  03:49:57

go to the used clothing store. 

I finally said no when she suggested 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/24/2016:  05:53:48

the soup kitchen is a happening place.

Our main ambition in life is

OM45GE - Posted - 10/24/2016:  10:03:44

avoid lengthy prison sentences.

That may be

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/25/2016:  06:46:42

an after statement.

Anyway,try to be

Forrest - Posted - 10/25/2016:  06:49:25

true to yourself regarding your tendency to wear costumes in public.

The best way to stay out of trouble is

OM45GE - Posted - 10/25/2016:  07:32:40

avoid trouble spots, but that's not always as easy as it sounds.

Besides, it's not much fun so you may want to

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/25/2016:  15:55:10

hang out on the waterfront after midnight.

Sinister looking creeps

Forrest - Posted - 10/25/2016:  16:58:51

are not nearly as creepy as those who appear normal on the surface.

The creepiest of the bunch are

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/26/2016:  01:49:00

the ones who assist in acts of vulgarity.

You better warn your sister to

OM45GE - Posted - 10/26/2016:  02:40:05

stay away from your creepy friends. 

They're the ones she

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/26/2016:  07:39:35

finds "interesting" in a mischievous sort of way.

Never kiss your sister

Forrest - Posted - 10/26/2016:  08:38:04

unless you have your eyes closed.

It's a little known fact that kissing your sister

OM45GE - Posted - 10/26/2016:  10:19:33

is not what they meant by "keep it in the family".

They were referring to

Forrest - Posted - 10/26/2016:  10:29:57

was a little known custom involving a goat and hot candle wax.

The process evolved from an old

OM45GE - Posted - 10/26/2016:  10:33:42

pastime enjoyed on long winter nights that kept the entire family entertained and warm at the same time.

Some family members

Forrest - Posted - 10/26/2016:  10:47:12

went so far as to extend the custom into the summer months with a clothing optional component.

The real tragedy about this practice is

OM45GE - Posted - 10/26/2016:  10:52:20

that none of it was captured on video and posted to the internet.

That would have

Forrest - Posted - 10/26/2016:  10:55:17

made its way into the download folders of millions of computers around the world, topped only by cat videos and the Kim Kardashian "home movie."

Doctors have shown that the surest way to ward off

OM45GE - Posted - 10/26/2016:  10:56:24

unwanted pregnancy is to stop bathing entirely and engage in strenuous excercise daily.

You may find that

Forrest - Posted - 10/26/2016:  11:01:48

the strenuous activity leads to sweat and sweat leads to body odor, which combined with the lack of bathing creates a certain vapor-like cloud of funk around you.

Scientists have been studying this cloud to see

OM45GE - Posted - 10/26/2016:  11:03:03

it might be used as a weapon of mass destruction.

Either that or

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/26/2016:  15:52:48

it could be liquified and used as car fuel.

Following too close, however, could

OM45GE - Posted - 10/26/2016:  17:26:43

lead to lightheadedness, hallucinations or even death.

It's sure to be a popular pastime with

Forrest - Posted - 10/26/2016:  19:14:38

those who would otherwise be inhaling paint fumes.

The sad thing is that paint fumes

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/26/2016:  21:13:36

leads one to play marathon, three-week long games of tiddlywinks, eschewing food and sleep.



Painting the town red

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/26/2016 21:14:06

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/27/2016:  02:52:52

takes MUCH paint according to the size of your town..

It doesn't work well with a roller because

OM45GE - Posted - 10/27/2016:  03:12:17

There are lots of detail work that requires a brush. 

Unless, of course, you don't 

Forrest - Posted - 10/27/2016:  10:11:33

own a brush, or a roller, or a sponge. 

Using one's own body hair in lieu of the above can

OM45GE - Posted - 10/27/2016:  11:13:11

lead to some interesting patterns in the paint and curious hairstyles amongst the painters.

Perhaps a better idea would be

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/27/2016:  11:42:02

to get drunk and raise an all-night ruckus.

I ride an old paint

OM45GE - Posted - 10/27/2016:  11:56:44

by which most folks assume I mean a horse.

However, what I'm referring to is my trusty

Forrest - Posted - 10/27/2016:  12:00:22

paint applicator, which I keep on me at all times.

This applicator also doubles as a

OM45GE - Posted - 10/27/2016:  12:44:50

magic wand which I used to make my enemies teletransport to a remote Alaskan island.

I hope they

Forrest - Posted - 10/27/2016:  13:19:25

don't figure out that my paint applicator has other purposes, all of which must be left to the inquiring mind.

Those teletransported enemies are none too happy about

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/27/2016:  14:23:48

how I can make things happen and they can't figure them out.

But after all is said and done there remains

Forrest - Posted - 10/27/2016:  16:47:20

the fact that they're just plain pissed off.

The only thing worse than angry enemies is

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/27/2016:  17:53:38

knowing they have discarded urine on hand.

PO could mean purchase order

OM45GE - Posted - 10/28/2016:  02:46:29

or it could mean painfully odiferous. 

Acronyms can be confusing 

Forrest - Posted - 10/28/2016:  06:47:08

when you don't have the correct context.

Speaking of context

OM45GE - Posted - 10/28/2016:  07:41:07

have you seen the latest internet, oh, wait a minute, that's content, not context - never mind.

Please forgive my

Forrest - Posted - 10/28/2016:  08:14:34

use of that false cognate, which was rather amusing considering the irony of the statement.

Hopefully, everyone saw the 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/28/2016:  10:09:45

humor in it, but I would understand if they didn't because my humor is often obscure.

My father used to tell me

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/28/2016:  10:47:44

you're no Slappy White, so get out there and hoe that corn.

I'm busted

Forrest - Posted - 10/28/2016:  10:58:46

up inside that Michael Weatherly left NCIS last season because the show just isn't the same without him, despite the producers best efforts to bring additional characters into the mix and create a different cast dynamic, which feels a bit stilted and forced at the moment.

There's nothing funny about 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/28/2016:  12:53:53

whatever it is that you've been giggling at for the last hour.

I'll thank you to

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/28/2016:  13:25:52

just sit there and shut your trap!!

There now,,that should fix

OM45GE - Posted - 10/28/2016:  13:40:33

the noise pollution we've all been enduring.

Now if we could only do something about

Forrest - Posted - 10/28/2016:  13:55:41

the smell in this room.

Note to self: