Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/03/2022:  02:06:28

and fell 60 feet to his death.

A small town

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/03/2022:  22:17:27

funeral attracts hungry hobos looking for a free meal.

Deputy Fife fired a warning shot

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/04/2022:  03:59:53

into his foot.

Goober was the Paramedic on duty

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/04/2022:  16:41:46

but always fainted at the sight of blood.

We had to

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/04/2022:  19:02:40

call for Otis who had paramedic training in the army.

However, he was

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/05/2022:  04:40:52

sleeping off a hangover in his cell.

The only

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/05/2022:  09:12:23

thing they could do was to wait until he woke up.

By then they finally

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/05/2022:  16:24:14

bathed Fife’s foot in apple cider vinegar and told him to take 2 aspirins and call Otis in the morning.

Andy had to deputize Floyd

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/05/2022:  17:43:16

who was asleep in his barber chair as usual.



Floyd often

Edited by - KyBanjo on 11/05/2022 17:43:52

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/06/2022:  02:42:49

had erotic dreams.



In this particular dream, Aunt Bea

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 11/06/2022 02:43:09

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/06/2022:  08:51:38

had joined a swingers club up near Mt.Pilot.

Turns out

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/06/2022:  10:41:52

she was swinging hard one night and broke her pelvis.

Luckily Mucus Welby was there

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/06/2022:  13:58:14

and he was able to use her own girdle and a box of plaster of paris to set the broken bones.

This started a

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/07/2022:  03:37:27

trend.

Everyone

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/07/2022:  06:34:53

complied.

Buford

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/07/2022:  10:00:46

left.

He

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/07/2022:  15:13:12

traveled around the countryside.

Never seemed

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/07/2022:  15:16:40

to run outta dough cuz he had a rich senile uncle.

His Uncle Ferd used to shoe horses

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/07/2022:  15:48:46

with mail order Mason Horse Shoes.

His customers

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/07/2022:  16:50:14

were the talk of the town after that.

They wanted

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/07/2022:  21:01:07

but they couldn’t get.



A farrier and a tarrier walked into a bar

Edited by - chuckv97 on 11/07/2022 21:02:11

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/08/2022:  09:54:16

they set down at the bar and ordered a bottle bourbon and proceeded to get blitzed.

After an hour or so

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/08/2022:  15:29:05

the tarrier asked the farrier if he would buy him a beer.

The

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/08/2022:  15:43:38

farrier said, “ You think I got a horse shoe up my ass, or somethin, thinkin’ I’m rich?”

With that the tarrier collapsed

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/09/2022:  09:05:26

on the bar and rolled onto the floor.

This caused

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/09/2022:  15:18:36

a long cool woman in a black dress to slide up onto the now vacant bar stool.

She caught the attention

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/09/2022:  17:00:32

of the farrier who we’ll name Horshak for now.

He said, “ What’s a

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/10/2022:  02:36:54

long cool woman in a black dress doing in a place like this”?

Her reply

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/10/2022:  09:42:48

was that she was just looking around at the moment.

She seemed somewhat

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/10/2022:  12:31:53

befuddled.

Possibly

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/10/2022:  14:32:45

because she had never seen in such a place.

With that

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/10/2022:  14:41:16

she ordered a rusty nail and a screwdriver for the farrier.

After they got their tetanus shots

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/10/2022:  15:23:45

they decided to go ahead and get married.

This caused

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/10/2022:  16:01:34

problems because they both already had spouses.

Soon

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/10/2022:  16:55:18

it became clear that this might not work out and it would cause all sorts of problems.

They then

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/10/2022:  22:19:16

parted ways promising to rendezvous occasionally at the No-Tell Motel.

Dora Schwecklehauser runs the old place

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/11/2022:  04:37:54

into the ground.

Her “No Maintenance” policy

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/11/2022:  08:41:43

allows nothing to be repaired or replaced during the winter.

They finally

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/11/2022:  10:14:35

drove out all the cockroaches and bedbugs with baking soda.

The key-return box

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/11/2022:  12:22:09

is there for a reason.

They prefer

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/11/2022:  18:03:28

their coffee black.

The rain

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/12/2022:  08:08:31

in Spain falls mainly in the plain.

There once was a man from Nantucket

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/12/2022:  09:56:42

who kept all his cash in a bucket.

( I used all of my willpower to resist posting the ribald version of this poem at the risk being banned from BHO for life, the upside of that being I would have a lot more free time on my hands, which in its own way breeds the possibility of other ribald developments and therein a possibility of being banned by someone from somewhere else).



His daughter named Nan

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 11/12/2022 10:05:24

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/12/2022:  11:52:03

drove a VW van.

Her boyfriend Stan


(ha,, they can’t ban banjo players from this august forum,, only dobro players)

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/13/2022:  05:58:17

was quite the man and ate Spam from the can.

He

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/13/2022:  13:20:49

loved little packets that often contained rackets.

He

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/13/2022:  13:51:54

borrowed a rhyming dictionary from Stuart Stewart.

The bottom of the glass

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/13/2022:  15:19:38

ended up cutting his a$$.

When they

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/14/2022:  14:41:55

decided to fix it he tried to nix it.

Sorry to say