OM45GE - Posted - 09/11/2019:  15:30:01

the judgement of someone who would run in the desert.

I think they might

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 09/11/2019:  17:02:18

Have a feather loose.

Meanwhile, back at the hot dog throwing contest

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/11/2019:  17:41:04

the overheated spaniels and beagles were protesting.

Their defecation and flatulation

OM45GE - Posted - 09/12/2019:  02:52:07

had attracted the attention of the EPA.

They were concerned

Bill Rogers - Posted - 09/12/2019:  10:55:15

about excess methane.

The local fire department was worried too, because

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 09/12/2019:  11:04:37

The ice cream social was about to start.

As the vanilla truck driver swiftly unloaded his cargo

OM45GE - Posted - 09/12/2019:  11:45:15

the good townsfolk began to gather and murder excited.

They clearly expected

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/12/2019:  14:20:30

a posting that made sense, but alas, it was not to be.



Then the ice cream truck’s compressor pooched out

Edited by - chuckv97 on 09/12/2019 14:20:48

OM45GE - Posted - 09/12/2019:  16:15:52

and, in the extreme heat, the ice cream quickly melted.



Sensing an opportunity, the

Edited by - OM45GE on 09/12/2019 16:16:16

Bill Rogers - Posted - 09/12/2019:  18:47:56

local ant population swarmed to the dripping ice cream. 

Local exterminators

Edited by - Bill Rogers on 09/12/2019 18:49:03

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/12/2019:  22:01:03

we’re overwhelmed with compassion as they felt empathy for the cute 6-legged creatures.

Many exterminators resigned on the spot

OM45GE - Posted - 09/13/2019:  03:39:36

and several others surreptitiously wiped away tears as they doused the critters with insecticide.

It was a little embarrassing

Bill Rogers - Posted - 09/13/2019:  07:40:43

to watch for the creators of exterminator.company commercials.

Several headed for their computers to

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/13/2019:  07:43:58

rake the deserters over the coals.

Speaking of coals, I forgot to douse my campfire

OM45GE - Posted - 09/13/2019:  07:57:12

one time and inadvertently started a major conflagration.

The newspapers said

Bill Rogers - Posted - 09/13/2019:  13:18:02

“Fire on the Mountain—Run, Boy, Run!”

The fire lasted

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/13/2019:  13:26:19

for 40 days and 40 nights.

Some “end-of-times” folks

OM45GE - Posted - 09/13/2019:  16:06:34

gave away all their possessions and gathered in a clearing to await the rapture.

Imagine their surprise when

Bill Rogers - Posted - 09/13/2019:  17:49:49

the groundhog saw his shadow.



More winter meant

Edited by - Bill Rogers on 09/13/2019 17:51:37

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/13/2019:  18:04:07

more snowmobiles packing down snow over groundhog holes.

It might be late April before

Bill Rogers - Posted - 09/13/2019:  21:39:32

the marmots re-emerged.

And that triggered the annual plague alert because

OM45GE - Posted - 09/14/2019:  02:32:39

everyone knows how disease infested groundhogs are.

I know the skeptics will say

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/14/2019:  07:30:38

it all in my head, but I know different.



The last groundhog I ate

Edited by - chuckv97 on 09/14/2019 07:30:55

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 09/14/2019:  14:51:25

Wore a frilly prom dress and a smart hat to boot.



All of the local farmhands

Edited by - yeoldbanjoguy on 09/14/2019 14:51:48

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/14/2019:  16:10:44

had their turn dancing with Grunelda.

However, Punxsutawney Phil got

OM45GE - Posted - 09/14/2019:  17:52:20

all the glory even though what he really wanted was to be left alone.

Unfortunately, fate had

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 09/15/2019:  05:45:03

Other sweet things in store for this rodent.

One morning, while looking for

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2019:  18:30:37

my lost marbles, I came across something extremely interesting.

It was

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2019:  18:34:19

an old aglet from one of my laces off a pair of Adidas ROMs.

I immediately raced over to PawnStars

OM45GE - Posted - 09/16/2019:  03:51:07

but they showed a dismaying lack of interest in my aglet.

Rick pulled out a box of them and said

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/17/2019:  07:09:04

“Hey man, these have been sittin’ here for 9 years.”

With that, I stormed out of the shop

OM45GE - Posted - 09/17/2019:  14:55:41

and resolved to call the American Pickers, certain that they would see the value of my aglet.

When I reached the shop, Danielle told me

Bill Rogers - Posted - 09/20/2019:  00:09:55

“Haven’t you heard about the great aglet glut?”

“There are so many around now that

OM45GE - Posted - 09/20/2019:  04:02:35

we’re starting to think they’re procreating.

Either that or they

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/20/2019:  04:56:13

are being dumped here in the U.S. with cheap Chinese knockoffs.

One way to authenticate a true aglet

Bill Rogers - Posted - 09/20/2019:  11:15:59

is with a microscope. If you don’t see USA etched on it, it’s from Asia somewhere.

But for a real chance to collect something that will grow significantly in value,

OM45GE - Posted - 09/20/2019:  14:28:41

let me tell you about a bridge I’m selling in Brooklyn.

It is a no lose proposition

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/20/2019:  16:41:03

if you install electronic toll booths on the Manhattan end.

Only the dead know Brooklyn

OM45GE - Posted - 09/21/2019:  04:30:27

as the Dodgers’ home.

Their departure was

Edited by - OM45GE on 09/21/2019 04:31:33

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/21/2019:  06:21:36

welcome to Flatbush denizens who hated the rat-infested Ebbets Field.

Flushing residents welcomed the Metropolitans

Bill Rogers - Posted - 09/21/2019:  10:36:50

but that name was too long to fit on the uniforms.

“Mets,” otoh, soon became a synonym for

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 09/22/2019:  04:09:00

"Doormat of the National League".

But the Cubbies, claiming copyright infringement for using the phrase,

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/22/2019:  06:25:57

told Casey Stengel to either start winning or get off the pot, whatever that means.

You’ll never guess

OM45GE - Posted - 09/22/2019:  11:44:23

what I found in my jacket pocket.

I was taking it to the dry cleaners and felt something

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 09/22/2019:  13:05:30

Long and hard.

Pulling out my autographed ballbat was

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/22/2019:  13:18:09

a mistake, as 4 hooligans saw me, put me in a full Nelson and ran off with the valuable souvenir.

I vow never to

Bill Rogers - Posted - 09/23/2019:  02:18:08

spend another dime on souvenirs.

They’really worthless unless you can sell them on

OM45GE - Posted - 09/23/2019:  03:47:20

Craigslist or eBay.

Then you have to deal with

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/23/2019:  06:41:01

ne’er-do-wells coming to your house to case the joint under false pretenses.

My guard dog Skippy