Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/19/2021:  09:38:56

of intense KY Wickey consumption.

Tomorrow morning

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/19/2021:  17:44:06

will be a whole new day for me.

I plan on

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/19/2021:  18:52:21

summoning alien spirits to tell me my fortune.



Our trash pickup

Edited by - chuckv97 on 01/19/2021 18:53:16

OM45GE - Posted - 01/20/2021:  03:39:12

is Tuesday morning so I do my browsing Monday evenings.

Sometimes I eat like a king, other times

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/20/2021:  05:24:10

I scrounge leftovers like a pauper.



On trash collection day

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 01/20/2021 05:24:44

OM45GE - Posted - 01/20/2021:  05:37:54

it’s important to make a last tour of the neighborhood before the trucks make their rounds.

There might be last minute

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/20/2021:  05:54:09

dumping of valuable old National picks and sometimes even vintage Zero comic books.

I’ve furnished my pad with colonial Salvation Army furniture

OM45GE - Posted - 01/20/2021:  06:16:37

which doesn’t match the decor, but at least the smell is starting to fade.

Some of the stains are

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/20/2021:  08:03:46

of oiling up my banjo to play faster.

I personally use

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/20/2021:  11:07:57

bulk diesel motor oil on all of my finer moving mechanisms.

It keeps costs

OM45GE - Posted - 01/20/2021:  11:38:52

down and I fit right in at Buford’s Truck Stop.

People take one whiff of me and assume

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/20/2021:  14:20:08

I’m a maintenance worker at the local rendering plant.

My redneck pickup

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/20/2021:  14:48:35

has a rifle rack and an 8-track player.

The blue smoke

OM45GE - Posted - 01/21/2021:  03:45:52

is my oil level indicator.

When the smoke thins out I know

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/21/2021:  06:14:34

you can actually see my truck.

Of course,that's when it

OM45GE - Posted - 01/21/2021:  06:35:50

usually breaks down.

It also seems to die just when

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/21/2021:  07:28:14

I run out of fuel which might be a coincidence.

Maybe I should

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/21/2021:  07:58:55

trade it in for a nice used Pinto.



I’ve always liked horses

Edited by - chuckv97 on 01/21/2021 08:00:51

OM45GE - Posted - 01/21/2021:  09:56:08

except for cleaning up after them.

It’s called mucking out the stalls for a

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/21/2021:  11:14:17

a hot date that really gets me going.

I know a farm gal

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/21/2021:  11:35:55

whose back forty looks like the south end of a north-bound mule.

She likes the hayloft

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/21/2021:  13:34:38

so she can show off her front 40 as well.

She has a sister

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/21/2021:  13:58:18

that looks even better.

However,

OM45GE - Posted - 01/21/2021:  17:49:28

I’ve been unable to persuade them to join me in a ménage à trois.

Until I’m able to convince them,

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/21/2021:  18:22:36

I’ll plough their furrows one at a time.

I’ve told them that I studied animal husbandry

OM45GE - Posted - 01/22/2021:  03:21:48

which qualifies me as an amateur gynecologist.

They looked doubtful but

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/22/2021:  04:46:18

I showed them my mail order license and name tag; “Dr Dyno Gyno”.

After that

OM45GE - Posted - 01/22/2021:  05:33:35

we tried to navigate the complexities of their health insurance coverage.

I may have to bill them

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/22/2021:  09:00:35

with my usual 10% discount.

Business has been slow lately

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/22/2021:  10:19:02

that I’ve volunteered my services in selected situations.

I’ve tried to drum up

OM45GE - Posted - 01/22/2021:  15:37:18

a few likes on social media but I must be doing something wrong.

All I get are

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/23/2021:  07:10:30

African princes with get-rich-quick schemes.

One offered to come visit

OM45GE - Posted - 01/23/2021:  07:26:56

with a suitcase full of cash if I would forward $500 by gift card to secure his airline ticket.

He also wanted my

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/23/2021:  09:04:20

personal information including credit card numbers, passwords, and social security number.

I fooled him

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/23/2021:  15:34:01

by giving him my wife’s who went home to mother yesterday.

She threw my pre-war tailpiece

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/23/2021:  15:58:29

out the window and into the street.

I immediately

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/24/2021:  10:32:45

located and bought a complete pre-war banjo replete with original tailpiece, to replace my loss.



Needless to say

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 01/24/2021 10:33:30

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/24/2021:  14:45:05

she was not very happy but I sure am

You would not

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/24/2021:  16:28:13

believe her collection of leather handbags, by the way.

I’ll have a bonfire

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2021:  03:23:01

as soon as I can obtain a fire permit.

The fire chief will understand because

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/25/2021:  07:21:33

he has been married four times and is contemplating his fifth.

He hooked up

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/25/2021:  09:40:40

with one of Grim Jim’s waitresses.

Her checkered past

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2021:  12:12:33

somehow escaped his attention.

Perhaps that’s because

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/25/2021:  14:27:43

she’s built like a brick pagoda and wears suggestive clothing.

Her favorite

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/25/2021:  15:33:11

flirtatious trick to garner tips is to lick her lips and bat her eyelashes.

Jim offered her

finger-picker - Posted - 01/25/2021:  16:00:51

a spin on his wild stallion.

Not like anyone

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2021:  17:21:23

really cared that his “wild stallion” was actually a retired government mule.

He also liked to pretend

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/26/2021:  05:30:18

that he had big feet.

He would

OM45GE - Posted - 01/26/2021:  06:44:15

stomp around in size 14 Nike Air Jordans and take fake jump shots.

Unfortunately, he was constantly