MWBailey - Posted - 11/20/2014:  11:16:48

sever the detonator on this nuke.

I fond it in the dustbin, beside

oliver james - Posted - 11/20/2014:  11:30:21

the box that reads: no-dust please

this here hampster is causing

OM45GE - Posted - 11/20/2014:  12:04:16

me no end of grief.

I think he's got evil

jistgreg - Posted - 11/20/2014:  12:12:28

engraved in his heart. 

Why, one time he snuck up on 

Edited by - jistgreg on 11/20/2014 12:12:50

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/20/2014:  12:53:25

my canary and shook salt on his tail.

Then he

OM45GE - Posted - 11/20/2014:  13:19:14

started singing the theme song from Sponge Bob Square Pants in a droning nasally voice that annoyed the hell out of me.

I was forced to

jistgreg - Posted - 11/20/2014:  14:07:12

down a can of boiled spinach and resort to usin' me fisks. 

When that hamsker woke up 

OM45GE - Posted - 11/20/2014:  16:12:04

he thought it was Tuesday and tried to pay for the hamburger he ate last week.

I took his money but

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/20/2014:  16:54:53

charged him an extra 20 bucks for the burgers Wimpy ate.

Olive Oyl

jistgreg - Posted - 11/20/2014:  17:45:38

felt sorry for him and borrowed 20 bucks from me to pay me for the hamburgers he owed me for. 

Olive's brother Castor

Scaggs7 - Posted - 11/20/2014:  19:13:58

just sold the farm and went looking for his long lost girlfriend

the dogs around here

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/20/2014:  19:47:40

are bachelors,so they're coming with me to look for a matehund.

Ticks and fleas

Scaggs7 - Posted - 11/20/2014:  19:51:06

are a delicacy around here when they are fried or baked

there is so much cat hair around here you could

jistgreg - Posted - 11/21/2014:  00:20:05

knit a litter of kittens. 

Litterbugs make me knit my brows and 

OM45GE - Posted - 11/21/2014:  09:29:18

and cause my blood pressure to rise.

It seems so selfish and disrespectful, I wonder if

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/21/2014:  10:59:33

they should build a Litterbug Hoosegow for frequent transgressors.

The inmates

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/21/2014:  12:54:56

are restless again! Get the tranquilizer guns!

And this is the

OM45GE - Posted - 11/21/2014:  14:05:06

the way we deal with problems like these.

Don't ask me to

Scaggs7 - Posted - 11/21/2014:  16:28:14

go into more detail about the last circumstances and issues

the last train trip was to

jistgreg - Posted - 11/21/2014:  16:37:04

Clarksville 'cuz the line is closing service 

'Cuz they're losin' lotsa money and it makes 'em pretty nervous. 

It's a mess 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 11/21/2014:  17:18:16

trying to get from here to over to yonder on a set of snow skis and one pole

when summer gets here I'm

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/21/2014:  21:47:51

gonna bottle the sunshine to save for next winter.

My root cellar

jistgreg - Posted - 11/22/2014:  02:30:34

is a square root cellar. 

I asked Fig to blast me an octagonal hole  

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/22/2014:  03:26:41

and he went down to the bank and blew up the safe.

Only in America can we

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/22/2014:  06:51:54

look north to our frozen neighbors.

Many snowbirds

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/23/2014:  13:27:45

are flocking to the Florida beaches.

Twenty six years ago

Scaggs7 - Posted - 11/23/2014:  19:28:44

I was twenty six.

the old cow and the mule are

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/24/2014:  08:56:12

getting long in the tooth- they can eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.

Why they don't

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/24/2014:  13:08:24

they don't have it pre ground I'll never know.

Isn't it strange about George Jones saying

OM45GE - Posted - 11/24/2014:  13:34:27

his name is really Jones George.

 I think he's

jistgreg - Posted - 11/24/2014:  13:40:28

wearin' his moccasins backerds so's those trackin' 'im go in the wrong di-rection. 

Gregory Gregory don't have thet problum 

OM45GE - Posted - 11/24/2014:  13:48:51

because his parents thought his name was so nice, they used it twice.

He's just glad they didn't

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/24/2014:  21:59:04

call him late for suppers.

"Chow Time!" yelled Hop Sing

jistgreg - Posted - 11/24/2014:  23:09:00

, slinging the egg foo old at the various and sundry Cartwrights. 

"That's the last sun-dried cart I build for him, growled 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/25/2014:  03:00:12

the last sun-dried cart builder.

Lake Erie contains a lot of water but

OM45GE - Posted - 11/25/2014:  05:57:40

it is the shallowest of the Great Lakes.

It can still

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/25/2014:  12:32:56

contribute to a big snow dump on poor old Buffalo,despite citizen protestations.

Why the city fathers

jistgreg - Posted - 11/25/2014:  13:03:42

don't hire weather forecasters who predict sunny skies and warm temperatures is beyond me. 

Blue skies 

Edited by - jistgreg on 11/25/2014 13:04:49

OM45GE - Posted - 11/25/2014:  13:14:51

 would be a great name for a song.

Perhaps I will

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/25/2014:  21:00:46

change my name to Irving and compose a ditty based on that title.

Willie N might

OM45GE - Posted - 11/26/2014:  11:15:54

be getting on in years but he can still entertain a crowd.

He's well known for

jistgreg - Posted - 11/26/2014:  11:30:21

his labor in Farm Aid and other fund risers to benefit farmers. 

He'd probably like to see farmers grow 

OM45GE - Posted - 11/26/2014:  12:06:21

some high quality weed to keep him well stocked.

That way he wouldn't have to

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/26/2014:  16:10:02

Bogart that joint,my friend.

His band rides in a Cannibus

Scaggs7 - Posted - 11/26/2014:  17:07:17

bus with the name on the side

TLW might could tell us more about the present conditionds the weed situation in his part of the country because he lives off weeds ,fish and

jistgreg - Posted - 11/26/2014:  17:36:15

game. 

The Weeds, Fish & Game Commission 

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/26/2014:  18:42:07

was disbanded due to Weeds,Fish and Game officers lolling about in the grass uttering profound pronouncements such as "Far out ,man. Groovy."

Cheech and Chong

jistgreg - Posted - 11/26/2014:  21:03:18

are stage names, man; their real names are Willie and Nelson. 

Rock-ribbed facts 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/27/2014:  14:10:55

about old stones are a myth.

During the Civil War,Scarlet O'Hara