chuckv97 - Posted - 03/31/2021:  08:08:28

my old dog Rusty will learn a new trick.

Just yesterday he

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/31/2021:  17:12:12

fetched a birch stick.

Tomorrow

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2021:  03:37:10

I plan to teach him how to calculate the area of a polygon.



He likes running around the yard

Edited by - OM45GE on 04/01/2021 03:39:04

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/01/2021:  03:41:55

barking at nothing.

Sometimes he humps the mailman’s leg

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2021:  03:47:53

which may be why I haven’t gotten any mail in the last six months.

I tried explaining that humping was

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/01/2021:  05:44:28

natural for a dog.

After that

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2021:  06:53:05

I tried to demonstrate my technique for humping avoidance.

However, the mailman started

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/01/2021:  08:36:09

a long tirade about his trials and travails during his 40 years of carrying the mail.

I tried calming him down

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/01/2021:  08:51:48

with a shot of KY-Wickey and he then pulled up a chair.

After an hour

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/01/2021:  10:17:51

or so he decided to get in on the card game.

Little did he know they were playing

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2021:  11:55:22

with a marked deck and had aces up their sleeves.

That definitely changed the odds

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/01/2021:  17:40:16

because he also had aces up his sleeve.

Soon it became obvious

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/01/2021:  18:18:00

that there were to many aces floating around.

To win he would have to

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/01/2021:  19:21:03

knock out the other players with roundhouse rights and uppercuts.

It wouldn’t be the first time he

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2021:  03:15:17

had achieved victory through violence.

He felt guilty about

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/02/2021:  09:10:33

absolutely nothing.

In his

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/02/2021:  09:54:33

mind he figured that he deserved to win.



Later that evening

Edited by - KyBanjo on 04/02/2021 09:55:19

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2021:  10:14:00

Tonto hid the Lone Ranger’ mask.

His paleface partner

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2021:  11:35:02

ran about with a towel covering his face while he searched frantically.

The mask provided a sense of

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/02/2021:  11:35:17

security. 

 

With out it

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/02/2021 11:37:06

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/02/2021:  11:38:14

he was just a regular ranger and wasnt as brave as he once was.



Tonto told him to

Edited by - KyBanjo on 04/02/2021 11:39:41

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/02/2021:  11:46:42

“get over it”.

He replied

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2021:  12:05:47

“Easy for you to say, you red-faced redskin!”

So Tonto rode off with Hiawatha

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/02/2021:  12:53:20

and never returned as he felt discriminated against.

He later tried to

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2021:  03:16:09

sue the Lone Ranger for several violations of employment and anti-discrimination laws.

Unfortunately, the masked lawman had long since departed this mortal coil and his estate was

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2021:  03:51:52

handled by Perry Mason, a man who didn’t suffer fools gladly.

Burr and Silverheels buttted heads

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2021:  07:42:16

immediately and it was not clear who would prevail.

Jay opened the discussion with

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/03/2021:  10:33:45

eye contact and an all-knowing silence.

Mason

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2021:  10:41:20

aka Burr, recruited Della to whisper sweet nothings in Silverheels’ ear.

The red man blushed

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2021:  12:25:46

which excited Della.

Knowing she had that power

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/03/2021:  12:31:47

over the Indian made her feel hot to trot.

Turns out

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2021:  17:42:46

when she trotted, her knickers fell down around her knees.

She fell face down on the

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2021:  18:05:58

barroom floor. (saloons doubled as court rooms in Tonto’s day)

She was henceforth labeled a “scarlet woman”

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/04/2021:  07:37:10

because she neglected to remember she was in the midst of her “Ladies Days”.



Flush with embarrassment 

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/04/2021 07:38:29

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/04/2021:  07:43:17

she stormed out of the barroom.

She almost

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/04/2021:  10:06:26

bowled over Festus who had a powerful thirst on.

Sam cut him off yesterday

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/04/2021:  11:21:24

after the piano player was mysteriously shot .

See Sam thought that

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/04/2021:  15:16:34

Chester was paying Festus’ bar tab.

In reality

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2021:  17:17:59

Festus had inherited a vast fortune from his uncle twice removed.

He was removed from

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/04/2021:  17:47:25

the family tree by force, but another distant uncle designated Festus as an orphan branch.

Help me understand

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/04/2021:  18:37:58

why it is that Festus’ family tree doesn’t branch out.

Maybe

OM45GE - Posted - 04/05/2021:  03:20:36

the roots are too shallow and the solid isn’t very fertile.

Regardless, the fruit is stunted and

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/05/2021:  08:33:36

tends to mature to fast and never has any flavor.

You would think

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/05/2021:  08:58:16

a bit of hog manure would improve things.

But the Hagens never cottoned

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/05/2021:  10:36:29

to the idea of Festus becoming a masseur because he had a tendency to rub people the wrong way.

Nevertheless

OM45GE - Posted - 04/05/2021:  15:04:56

he finally got a job as the before example at the local gym.

That didn’t really work out very well because

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/05/2021:  15:46:48

he was more than out of shape and had never been to a gym before.

He then decided that he must

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/05/2021:  16:47:12

work with Quint in the blacksmith shop for a while to “tone up”.

Quint tossed him the anvil

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/05/2021:  17:04:59

which precipitated the hiring of Newly to replace him.

Festus was buried in a shallow grave