Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/23/2020:  20:27:49

because I’ll be celebrating National Peanut Butter Day by overindulging in that commodity.

When I’ve recovered, I’ll

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/23/2020:  20:54:49

restock on the corticosteroid needles.

My peanut allergy is almost as bad

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/23/2020:  22:48:31

as my allergy to clean living.



If I ever turn over a new leaf

Edited by - chuckv97 on 01/23/2020 22:48:51

OM45GE - Posted - 01/24/2020:  02:39:45

I hope I find a pile of cash under it.

Not that money can buy happiness, but

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/24/2020:  03:36:27

sure makes buying banjo's easier.

But makes the wife awfully

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/24/2020:  03:54:58

nervous on payday.

Her idea of a good time

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/24/2020:  04:54:43

is spending all my hobby money.

But there are certain accounts that she

OM45GE - Posted - 01/24/2020:  05:21:27

is thankfully unaware of.

I call them my

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/24/2020:  05:36:35

nervous ticks so I can see my psychologist who is really my broker.

Dr.

OM45GE - Posted - 01/24/2020:  05:42:27

Moneybags is his nickname, but he doesn’t mind being called anything but late for dinner.

He’s very particular about

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/24/2020:  06:58:32

cutlery placement at the dinner table.

His searing sarcasm cuts like a

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/24/2020:  12:14:42

a finely honed machete.



Last time she was in the jungle she...

Edited by - KyBanjo on 01/24/2020 12:16:38

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/24/2020:  15:23:41

cut down an ancient lore tree.

When the villagers woke up

OM45GE - Posted - 01/24/2020:  17:09:04

and realized what had happened, they were incensed.

In fact, they were so angry, they

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/24/2020:  17:10:11

called skip-the-dishes and ordered all-you-can-eat pancakes from Jungle Jim’s IHOP.



Then it was tiger-killing time

Edited by - chuckv97 on 01/24/2020 17:10:34

OM45GE - Posted - 01/24/2020:  17:27:58

which outraged conservationists and cat lovers alike.

It was about all they

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/24/2020:  17:53:44

could do, but then they realized that there are no tigers in Africa.

They were taking out their collective ire on a gang of meerkats, when

Edited by - Bill Rogers on 01/24/2020 17:56:26

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/24/2020:  18:35:58

all of the sudden the Discovery channel showed up.



Needless to say they had no manners and

Edited by - KyBanjo on 01/24/2020 18:37:02

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/24/2020:  18:36:57

Habeeb Singh , the loco game warden, put a stop to the proceedings.

He herded them into a corral

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/24/2020:  18:48:09

where they were finally tagged and loaded.

From there the trip went smoothly until

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/24/2020:  20:34:05

Habeeb Singh began singing "The Hills Are Alive With the Sound of Music" and ran into a clearing.

There was mercury in his gin, I realized

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2020:  03:11:21

which explained his unusual behavior.

However, it didn’t explain

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/25/2020:  03:57:46

the workings of his magic carpet.

It was a snazzy 2-tone red

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2020:  04:31:17

Berber with a delicate golden trim and a cup holder.

He used to keep it

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/25/2020:  08:42:16

near his Stepponwolf record collection.



Although he couldnt carry a tune in the key of

Edited by - KyBanjo on 01/25/2020 08:43:05

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2020:  08:52:16

Bb minor despite years

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/25/2020:  10:53:20

cobra charming.

He charmed a cobra so well it bit his mother-in-law, and she

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/25/2020:  12:18:39

swelled up like a hot air balloon.

now there shopping for a new

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2020:  12:23:45

wardrobe and a bigger bed.

She’s not very

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/25/2020:  13:22:24

stable, so says her equestrian coach.

Her jodhpurs

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2020:  13:40:45

seem to be spooking the Horses.

They also seem skittish about

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/25/2020:  13:45:50

skittles candy for some strange reason.

It was really getting hard to believe but it did indeed

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2020:  14:19:18

happen and I was there to see it.

Of course, I had been

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/25/2020:  14:24:53

drinking quite a bit that day as usual, dam bourbon

But on a new note I feel like brand new

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2020:  14:38:06

liver is probably in my future.

That is if the

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/25/2020:  15:31:33

The tiger didn't finish eating my manager before the medical team could get there.



It's a waiting game next to the helicopter

Edited by - Peter Vipulis on 01/25/2020 15:32:47

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/25/2020:  15:50:30

ride that they took all of us on, very uplifting.



but then after only 43 seconds in the air they made

an emergency landing at

Edited by - KyBanjo on 01/25/2020 15:51:14

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/25/2020:  16:38:37

the pilot's divorce attorney. His wife couldn't tell him in person so she had it written on a rooftop.

The attorney had a large collection of

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2020:  18:11:05

his clients’ cash.

He also had

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/25/2020:  18:21:55

the original Keith d tuners that Earl sneezed on.

These are highly wanted as they still have hints of

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/25/2020:  18:35:06

a sneezing disorder.

Heightened by

OM45GE - Posted - 01/25/2020:  18:46:44

the two inch lifts in his shoes he now came up to my chest.

He was sort of cute

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/25/2020:  19:13:04

to his wife.



The attorney went on and on about his true prize

Edited by - Peter Vipulis on 01/25/2020 19:13:25

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/25/2020:  19:44:24

- Miss Goodbody from the steno pool.

She calls herself

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/25/2020:  20:16:58

and leaves messages.

She can't retain anything more than 2 hours, which made scientists

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/25/2020:  20:25:14

try to clone her thought process for use with diplomatic messages.

But the Secretary of State wasn’t interested because

OM45GE - Posted - 01/26/2020:  05:23:39

he is collecting everything he can for his tell-all book after he leaves office. 



He’s already been paid

Edited by - OM45GE on 01/26/2020 05:24:16

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/26/2020:  06:33:23

off by Jimmy Hoffa’s relatives so don’t be looking for any dirt on them.

Most of the “tell-all”

OM45GE - Posted - 01/26/2020:  06:43:30

books I’ve read don’t really tell everything.

For example, none of them has ever told why my