OM45GE - Posted - 12/30/2021:  08:03:54

and she didn’t know what it was.

On the other hand, she

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/30/2021:  13:14:27

had warts.

She’s been

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/30/2021:  14:38:19

keeping pet toads in her dresser drawer.

I’d leave her but

OM45GE - Posted - 12/30/2021:  18:26:55

the last time I did she hunted me down and dragged me home.

I woke up in

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/31/2021:  04:53:04

a foggy stupor, in a strange room outfitted with unfamiliar equipment.



Little did I know

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 12/31/2021 04:54:13

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/31/2021:  04:55:04

that her choke hold on me had collapsed my lungs.

I’ve been

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/31/2021:  05:14:09

down an out before but this time was different.

I could sense

OM45GE - Posted - 12/31/2021:  17:25:47

that I had truly reached rock bottom and was digging furiously.

At least I can look

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/31/2021:  21:46:51

up and see daylight.

Harlequin romances be damned

OM45GE - Posted - 01/01/2022:  05:49:09

for convincing my wife I was an inadequate lover.

She left me for

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/01/2022:  06:11:33

a German woman named Greta-Groin-Thea who owns a sex shop and discount battery outlet.

If you ever need

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/01/2022:  07:38:22

batteries for your vibrator go see Greta.

She also gives a mean massage

OM45GE - Posted - 01/01/2022:  10:13:10

and when I say “mean” I really mean mean!

It will leave you wishing

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/01/2022:  11:05:31

you had not removed you skivvies for the event.

Speaking of

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/01/2022:  12:33:27

events, my gig at Grim Jim’s has been cancelled due to lack of interest.

Jim hired a Polish dancer instead

OM45GE - Posted - 01/01/2022:  16:39:15

who will gladly take requests.

She only speaks Polish so

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/02/2022:  13:59:23

she relies mostly on hand gestures from Jim’s regular patrons.

Needless to say (pun intended)

OM45GE - Posted - 01/02/2022:  17:58:00

many of the gestures would not be suitable for polite company.

For example,

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/02/2022:  19:12:51

the bird she takes as a compliment, as does the two-finger bul**hit sign.

However, she passes the hat

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2022:  02:46:58

and keeps a sharp eye on it to make sure folks are giving not taking.

She’s certainly a

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/03/2022:  09:54:45

candidate for “cockeyed optimist of the year”.



It's almost time 

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 01/03/2022 09:55:32

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/03/2022:  10:00:24

to wind up my clock and wait for the cuckoo.

My days are filled with

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2022:  12:24:03

endless fun with my imaginary friends.

They are constantly

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/03/2022:  14:37:45

harassing me to purchase a DP Hopkins, Phoenix model banjo with radiused fretboard.

I’m

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/03/2022:  14:52:07

hopping a freight to Phoenix tonight.

I want to make sure

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2022:  18:35:46

I’m out of town before anyone finds out what I did.

It would be

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/04/2022:  04:58:28

sacrilege to pretend you weren’t involved in the whole affair.

When the smoke clears

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/04/2022:  06:47:42

I’ll light up an old stogie and chuckle.

I’ve been around the block a time or two

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/04/2022:  10:01:42

and I finally made home without getting lost.

I’m telling you

OM45GE - Posted - 01/04/2022:  12:20:12

so you can stop looking for me.

I appreciate the

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/04/2022:  15:16:32

cards and letters I have been receiving recently.

The problem

OM45GE - Posted - 01/05/2022:  04:00:46

I have is dealing with the guilt over not responding to everyone.

It’s not that I’m

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/05/2022:  05:48:54

lazy, ill-tempered, non-caring, or otherwise disinterested, it's that I just don't give a $h!t.



Maybe I 

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 01/05/2022 05:50:17

OM45GE - Posted - 01/05/2022:  06:44:50

would have a better attitude if I stopped watching the news.

Sometimes

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/05/2022:  07:31:53

I yearn for Walter Cronkite.

My nostalgic self

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/05/2022:  08:39:37

occasionally takes a trip down memory lane, “And that’s the way it is” according to Walter.

But

OM45GE - Posted - 01/05/2022:  18:09:16

I have to wonder what Walter would think of the current news climate.

There is definitely a

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/06/2022:  04:27:32

revolution brewing and I wonder if that is affecting banjo prices.

I’ve noticed

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/06/2022:  08:12:44

many insurance companies refusing to cover banjos.

Seeger and Poole walked into

OM45GE - Posted - 01/06/2022:  17:07:31

A bar and offered to play a couple of tunes in exchange for beers.

The bartender

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/07/2022:  13:34:08

named Sam, told them Cliff and Norm would help them set up in the back room.

It wasn’t long

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/07/2022:  15:01:47

before Woody broke into a highland clog.

Poole got drunk as usual

OM45GE - Posted - 01/07/2022:  18:20:56

and told Carla to put it on his tab.



Of course, he had no

Edited by - OM45GE on 01/07/2022 18:21:22

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/08/2022:  07:27:19

money because he had champagne tastes, a beer budget, and a water income.

This led to

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/08/2022:  07:29:57

day in jail for Poole and his banjo.

The jailer’s wife

OM45GE - Posted - 01/08/2022:  09:25:39

found Poole irresistibly attractive.

She came back that night

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 01/08/2022:  12:31:15

when he was fast asleep and began her groping, starting at the tail piece, she worked her way around the pot to the neck and then to the head of his banjo, taking special care to fondle the boney nut.



Suddenly

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 01/08/2022 12:31:50

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/08/2022:  14:10:16

he awoke, demanding sexual “favours “.

She shrieked

OM45GE - Posted - 01/09/2022:  02:54:58

“I thought you’d never ask!”

Then she