banjoscotty - Posted - 02/12/2016:  14:30:49

go for a ride in outer space.

Old Chinese proverb says

OM45GE - Posted - 02/12/2016:  14:31:11

vote in the 1940 elections unless she filed an absentee ballot. 

Some people still believe

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/12/2016:  15:24:38

(the esteemed Mr. Bailey entered his post prior to the tardy Bay State Bill)

,"never fly winged bird if hart of 'earing".

Lindbergh and Earhart were

OM45GE - Posted - 02/12/2016:  19:36:53

both aviators of note, but  not the same note.  

Scotty must have been writing at the same time

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/12/2016:  20:03:32

that a Florida sinkhole was collapsing, so he hurried like nobody's business.

Besides, F comes before M

OM45GE - Posted - 02/12/2016:  20:07:00

unless you're spelling "muffin".

Speaking of muffins, 

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/13/2016:  04:30:24

nobody could bake them like Grandma.

Not even once did she burn the muffins because

OM45GE - Posted - 02/13/2016:  05:35:07

she had one of those quaint kitchen timers with the pointer dial that you turned. 

She also watched the muffins like a hawk and

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/13/2016:  06:22:57

not let Grandpa come into the kitchen.

The young'uns love to pick the blueberries for Grandma but

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/13/2016:  08:25:16

always came home with poison ivy.

You've never seen such

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/13/2016:  09:32:01

a good time as at my Grandma' farm.

all the chickens headed for cover when

OM45GE - Posted - 02/13/2016:  10:15:32

Grandma came out the backdoor holding her axe.

I think the chickens

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/13/2016:  10:45:12

had FOHCS - "Fear Of Head Chopping Syndrome"- a condition for which vets have no cure.

The roosters,however,

OM45GE - Posted - 02/13/2016:  10:54:30

just strutted around as cocky as ever, secure in the knowledge that their stringy meat made it unlikely that they would face the chopping block.

This did not endear them to the hens,

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/13/2016:  11:25:35

because they like some lovin' once is a while.

The pigs are different in there

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/13/2016:  11:44:35

ain't a hog who would choose a sow over some good slop any day.

Bacon on the hoof

OM45GE - Posted - 02/13/2016:  12:29:09

is what I like to call those porkers, but they don't like it at all and squeal in protest whenever I do.

They prefer to be called

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/14/2016:  04:47:03

the other white meat.

Never butcher a hog on a holiday because

jistgreg - Posted - 02/14/2016:  05:53:18

the hog, being on holiday, won't commit fully to the experience. 

A distracted hog 

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/14/2016:  08:52:41

reads the morning papers while watching pork belly futures report on TV.

Hells Angels visit hog farms

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/15/2016:  12:34:53

that are really motorcycle show rooms

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/16/2016:  04:15:21

Ding Dang It All,,I made a Boo-Boo,,here,let me fix it::

that are really motorcycle showrooms.

But don't fret about it,those "hogs" will

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/16/2016:  06:54:23

be tearing up your street some day and terrorizing the neighbo(u)rhood.

Some folks spell "hawgs"

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/16/2016:  07:49:35

like J.D. does.

Boss,,Them Dukes boys has got to be stopped so

OM45GE - Posted - 02/16/2016:  08:24:25

you go get them while Daisy and I retire to her bedroom. 

I expect I'll be

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/16/2016:  09:06:31

pretty well whipped in about half an hour.

Or maybe less if she

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/16/2016:  10:02:57

gives me the "roll in the hay" treatment, an unusually strenuous piece of .....business.

Baling hay

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/16/2016:  12:59:47

with Daisy is a fun thing.

Especially when we get to the hay mow and

J e f f - Posted - 02/16/2016:  17:51:22

shake hands for several hours.

After frolicking in the hay, we'll be too tired to

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/17/2016:  04:13:21

go out on a date.

So we'll just stay home and

jistgreg - Posted - 02/17/2016:  04:20:56

sit by the fire. 

When the house is completely burned down, we'll 

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/17/2016:  06:17:14

report it to Insurance Company.

Then they will decide if

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/17/2016:  07:12:31

you get 3cents on the dollar value of the house.

They might even pay for

OM45GE - Posted - 02/17/2016:  16:04:02

the collection of Honeymooners tapes you had in the attic. 

They won't pay for

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/17/2016:  20:08:22

those old Dwayne Eddie records though.

Most insurance companies like to

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/17/2016:  20:24:15

hire people like Marlin Perkins to do their dirty work,as Mutual of Brouhaha does.

But Marlin defers to Jim

OM45GE - Posted - 02/19/2016:  15:15:24

Fowler, who wasn't really very fowl at all.

In fact, he was

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/19/2016:  16:22:48

a loyal patsy, whose life insurance policy had lapsed years ago.

Perkins and Scrooge

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/19/2016:  16:47:26

are pretty much one of a kind.

The only thing they really ever done was

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2016:  10:46:05

was lost to posterity when Mutual of Omaha shredded all their old episodes.

There was surprisingly little protest, perhaps because

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/21/2016:  04:18:54

no one really cared about it.

That happens sometimes when

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/21/2016:  04:41:53

you overstay your welcome at your brother's place sleeping on the couch.

"Am I my brother's keeper?"

OM45GE - Posted - 02/22/2016:  08:02:59

is a tough question to answer unless you have your brother in a cage.

Mine is

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/22/2016:  08:53:18

chained up put in the barn.

His personality gets very ugly when

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/22/2016:  09:04:22

he doesn't get his milk and cookies before bedtime.

His temper tantrums

OM45GE - Posted - 02/22/2016:  10:44:12

have caused the cows to stop giving milk and the chickens have all flown the coop.

We may have to

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/22/2016:  13:44:34

shut down the farm.

Only a miracle will

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/22/2016:  14:46:53

get him to move to Main Street, into the small apartment above the beanery.

Blood is thicker

Whimsy - Posted - 02/22/2016:  16:12:57

when you spill it over forbidden fruit.



Persnickety people

(I'm not sure if I did that right... it doesn't follow the narrative?)

Edited by - Whimsy on 02/22/2016 16:19:12