OM45GE - Posted - 04/17/2017:  03:52:08

pot outside the senior center. 

She said they

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/17/2017:  08:01:56

drowning in debt but don't really care.

Getting old isn't for sissies

OM45GE - Posted - 04/17/2017:  08:17:39

although even sissies do grow old.

They just don't do it

Forrest - Posted - 04/17/2017:  09:12:54

gracefully, unless they're stoned, in which case they could care less.

My last birthday

OM45GE - Posted - 04/17/2017:  10:04:14

was when I turned 40 and 480 months.

I don't get carded at bars any more but

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/17/2017:  12:30:39

the teenage girls look at me.

That's ok because

OM45GE - Posted - 04/17/2017:  13:37:06

I'm looking at them as well.

Somehow it's not quite the

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/17/2017:  15:15:22

same as looking at the wife.

Something strange happens when

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/17/2017:  18:21:38

wives run around with the postman, the milkman, and the Fuller Brush man.

I've worshipped at the altar

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2017:  02:50:40

 alter ego, but my other personalities don't like it. 

I think they are threatened by

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/18/2017:  04:46:15

the good side of the inner man.

There are times when

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2017:  06:19:35

being clinically insane can have its advantages.

For example, I'm rarely bothered by strangers when I

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/18/2017:  08:37:17

don't take a bath for two weeks.

The other reason is

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2017:  11:31:21

the maniacal look in my eyes and the large knife in my hands.

Halloween is about the only time

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/18/2017:  12:11:01

I feel normal ,rubbing shoulders with strange looking people.

I rubbed one guy's shoulder

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2017:  12:54:45

and he punched me in the nose.

Fortunately, I was wearing

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/18/2017:  14:53:22

my Darth Vader mask.

Then he wanted to punch me but

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/18/2017:  17:01:46

I put the hex on him.

Hex is my Doberman

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2017:  17:36:53

who doesn't bite, he swallows whole.

That will be the last time

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/19/2017:  03:49:12

you ever touch me!!

Treat your woman nice because

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/19/2017:  04:38:27

you never know when you'll need her to play rhythm.

Show her the G run

OM45GE - Posted - 04/19/2017:  13:53:08

and stand back because the next SRV may be lurking under that unassuming exterior.

Then you'll have to

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/20/2017:  12:12:15

explain to the driver..

Never do anything that might

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/20/2017:  12:33:44

upset her rhythm method.



A quick modulation

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/20/2017 12:34:23

Forrest - Posted - 04/20/2017:  15:02:15

could have unexpected results including her getting knocked up.

I got knocked up once

OM45GE - Posted - 04/21/2017:  03:12:58

and was making plans to decorate the baby's room when my pediatrician called. 

She explained that

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/21/2017:  03:47:21

I was in for some terrible pain,,,,,

But everything came out alright and

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/21/2017:  07:55:45

the stitches are healing fine.

But I have this funny feeling

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/22/2017:  04:44:00

that something not so funny is about to happen..

But,,not to worry or

OM45GE - Posted - 04/22/2017:  10:32:58

start acting funny, because not every funny thing that happens is humorous. 

The funny thing about that is

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/22/2017:  11:52:03

a negative barrel of laughs, if you know what I mean.

If you head for the magnetic pole

OM45GE - Posted - 04/24/2017:  02:46:56

while carrying several hundred pounds of scrap iron, you compass may give false readings. 

You may also find it difficult to

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/24/2017:  14:36:42

to find your way back home.

But don't worry,,,Sgt.Preston is

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/24/2017:  22:33:47

on the Mountie picket line til midnight, then he'll send Gingachook out to get you.

But don't tell him

OM45GE - Posted - 04/25/2017:  03:26:06

you know me or they will immediately throw you in the stockade 

​they may even

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/25/2017:  05:53:16

take away your dinner ration.

I'll send you a cake..Look for a

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/25/2017:  06:44:04

4 by 6 glossy of me and the Sgt., along with a sympathy card.



You'll be freed

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/25/2017 06:44:21

OM45GE - Posted - 04/25/2017:  07:58:30

of any expectations that we might do something meaningful to improve your wretched existance.

In fact, we really don't

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/25/2017:  08:10:15

want to help you at all.

You need to realize that

OM45GE - Posted - 04/25/2017:  12:44:39

to us you are lower than whale poop on the ocean floor.

In fact, that may be 

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/25/2017:  18:09:06

a step up ,considering the severity of your hideous misdeeds.

And don't go schmoozing the prison chaplain

BanjoClive - Posted - 04/25/2017:  22:18:05

Or else he'll give ya a whoopin.

Also try not to

OM45GE - Posted - 04/26/2017:  05:08:53

let the drills and files hidden under your mattress fall to the floor with a clatter. 

It's also a great idea to

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/26/2017:  08:14:33

change your name and quit cyber-stalking your former old flame.

When the dust has cleared

OM45GE - Posted - 04/26/2017:  10:27:48

you are often left with a dusty house.

That means you will have to

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/27/2017:  10:51:58

hire a cleaning lady..

Do you really want to sell your

OM45GE - Posted - 04/27/2017:  11:47:43

soul for the sake of a clean house?

For that matter, what would you

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/27/2017:  12:21:00

give in exchange for your soul?

That sounds like a

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/27/2017:  13:29:15

gluebrass tune from hither yonder past decades.

If you're scratching your head