banjoscotty - Posted - 02/24/2015:  11:50:35

to buy sweaters for them. "Chuck",,,you know what I mean?

I don't want no flat chest one because

jistgreg - Posted - 02/24/2015:  14:15:28

quote:

---

Originally posted by banjoscotty

to buy sweaters for them. "Chuck",,,you know what I mean?



I don't want no flat chest one because

---

I'd have to give up the well-endowed one I have now, and she gets resentful. 

She can hold a grudge 

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/24/2015:  14:26:28

against you, but not her prized possessions .(know what I mean, Scotty?)

If the truth be told however

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/25/2015:  03:13:06

she might rather be a size smaller.

Then she could go without a

jistgreg - Posted - 02/25/2015:  06:02:49

care in the world. 

The difference between carefree and careless 

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/25/2015:  08:16:00

is top and topless.

Well,having said that,I think it's time to

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/25/2015:  09:56:39

visit the women's undergarment section at WalMart.

Sometimes I get

jistgreg - Posted - 02/25/2015:  12:19:58

women's undergarments; other times I get under women's garments. 

If women were 

OM45GE - Posted - 02/26/2015:  05:18:04

more willing to let me get under their garments, my world would be a happier place. 

Unfortunately, 

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/26/2015:  05:24:16

my Don Juan quotient is almost non-existent.

Latin lovers

OM45GE - Posted - 02/26/2015:  05:29:55

have tried to teach me the secrets to their success with women. 

However, I seem to be

jistgreg - Posted - 02/26/2015:  09:56:03

sic lingua tied ut ut similitudo a mute mime procul an Esperanto secui. 

Quid pro quo 

OM45GE - Posted - 02/26/2015:  14:39:16

is just one form of unethical behavior for a public servant.

However, they do

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/26/2015:  16:36:23

have the advantage over the moose.

Now that that is settled we can

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/26/2015:  16:41:26

get on with the Oddfellows meeting.

The odd man out

jistgreg - Posted - 02/27/2015:  03:02:01

in the parking lot seems to be panhandling. 

If he had a square meal 

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/27/2015:  05:24:15

would it fit on a round plate?

Well,it doesn't matter because

OM45GE - Posted - 02/27/2015:  15:29:38

he doesn't have a plate, round or otherwise. 

I saw him parking his BMW

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/27/2015:  15:59:27

at the welfare office, where the case workers ran out to hand him his monthly cheque.

Slipping through the cracks

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/27/2015:  17:35:30

will get you in trouble with your wife.

When parking your car always

jistgreg - Posted - 02/27/2015:  23:02:24

turn your wheels toward the curb -- or is it away from the curb? 

If I could, I surely would 

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2015:  04:14:56

but I can't so I probably won't. 

I know it sounds defeatist, but

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/28/2015:  04:39:16

would you mind if I went golfing today?

I can't figure those women out,,they are

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2015:  05:32:16

always saying they want us to be happy but when we do something that makes us happy they get upset. 

Maybe I need a new

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/28/2015:  06:30:19

Telecaster to happy me up a bit.

Well ,she went to the beauty parlor yesterday and they told her

jistgreg - Posted - 02/28/2015:  07:19:28

they'd fill her wrinkles, exfoliate her and give her a new paint job all for $99. 

Sometimes I think Earl Scheib 

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/28/2015:  07:46:28

rides an old paint, the way he carries on.

Never make a pretty woman your wife

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/28/2015:  12:51:17

,,she'll think she's better than you.

Also,never give her the benefit of the doubt,,because

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2015:  13:59:37

she will take advantage of it for the rest of your days. 

You would be better off

jistgreg - Posted - 02/28/2015:  15:07:39

to buy a paper doll that you can call your own, A doll that other fellows cannot steal, And then the flirty, flirty guys with their flirty, flirty eyes Will have to flirt with dollies that are real. 

If it's good enough for the Mills Brothers 

Edited by - jistgreg on 02/28/2015 15:08:13

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/28/2015:  17:02:54

it's good enough for Elvis.

And what do you think about the way the sheriff

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2015:  18:25:28

was able to confiscate all the townspeople's marijuana and not report any of it?

The parties at his house were

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/28/2015:  21:00:59

all about corn chips ,twinkies, Grateful Dead and Virgil Fox albums.

A big pipe organ

jistgreg - Posted - 02/28/2015:  23:09:19

is almost an innuendo. 

Love flies out the door 

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/01/2015:  03:33:31

whenever you come through the door drunk.

She was all set to party and

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2015:  11:14:03

and then saw my outfit for the evening. 

Apparently I shouldn't have worn

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/01/2015:  12:37:04

a singlet, Bermuda shorts, and knee socks.

My haberdasher

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2015:  13:08:07

is going to pay for this one way or another. 

After all, it's his sister I'm dating and he should

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/01/2015:  14:53:34

like very much if she moved out of his house.

She is only 22 years old but what

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/01/2015:  16:08:29

seems to be holding her back is an old flame from grade 8.

Her back gets hot

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2015:  16:48:22

when we make whoopie on the beach. 

Her front gets pretty

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/01/2015:  17:37:23

sunburned too.

But she doesn't complain so

OM45GE - Posted - 03/02/2015:  04:59:12

we just keep going back to the beach. 

I've been wearing sun block on my

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/02/2015:  05:55:08

bald head,it works good.

He has a roving eye at the beach and his girlfriend said

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/02/2015:  10:24:58

"I'm gonna be keeping an eye on you"!



Her eye patch

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/02/2015 10:25:56

jistgreg - Posted - 03/02/2015:  13:51:24

has produced more pumpkins than her pumpkin patch. 

But the weird thing is 

OM45GE - Posted - 03/03/2015:  12:01:12

the pumpkins are colored like the eight ball from a set of pool balls. 

It's quite disconcerting at first, but

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/03/2015:  16:42:08

becomes more concerting later on.

Just go with the flow and soon you will

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/03/2015:  19:12:42

end up in the mid Atlantic looking for seafood.

Long John Silver