OM45GE - Posted - 07/04/2015:  05:32:20

cane had been pressed and the rum made. 

That was cause for

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/04/2015:  07:03:18

a community celebration.

So Fidel ordered all the

jistgreg - Posted - 07/04/2015:  10:53:25

jaywalkers released from prison and a huge cake to be baked. 

This cake was to have 

OM45GE - Posted - 07/04/2015:  11:33:27

been a surprise but it turned out that everyone knew about it well before they had even started mixing the ingredients. 

However, it tasted great so everyone 

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/04/2015:  12:59:32

decided to bake another, but with a senorita inside who would jump out just when Fidel pulled out a cigar.



Clinton and Castro

Edited by - chuckv97 on 07/04/2015 13:02:58

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/04/2015:  13:04:54

flipped a coin to see who would get the stripper.

But Hillery walked in just as

jistgreg - Posted - 07/04/2015:  15:18:31

the event organizers realized they should have put the señorita in after the cake was baked. 

Boy, were their faces 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/04/2015:  17:03:25

really showing their stupidity.

So Hillery jumped into the cake while

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/04/2015:  20:14:28

the unwashed masses cheered wildly, and Fidel scowled in disgust with Bill giving him the hairy eyeball.

Hillary claims she's related to Sir Edmund, the Everest climber,

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/06/2015:  06:54:26

but lab results prove differently.

How would root canal effect

OM45GE - Posted - 07/07/2015:  17:51:45

the price of tea in China is something we may never know. 

It's difficult to separate 

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/07/2015:  19:37:11

tea leaves from tea tree roots, but perseverance will garner great results.

My fortune teller

jistgreg - Posted - 07/08/2015:  02:31:51

told me that someday I will meet J. Garner, but was not specific as to whether that would be James or Jennifer. 

If it's John Nance Garner, 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/08/2015:  02:46:20

I;ll give her to you.

If I go to North Dakota send my

OM45GE - Posted - 07/08/2015:  08:53:35

next letter to Santa Claus, I hope he won't think that I live there year round. 

That could lead to him

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/08/2015:  09:33:25

cancelling my Christmas list.

The hills of Southern Ohio are

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/08/2015:  12:35:32

just a pale comparison to the northern Rockies, although the Ohio River is legendary in song.

I might compose a ditty

OM45GE - Posted - 07/08/2015:  15:23:31

using every cuss word I know. 

I've already composed one using

jistgreg - Posted - 07/08/2015:  18:24:46

the initials of every maiden I've stabbed down by the Banks of the Ohio. 

The bank security guards usually 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/09/2015:  02:44:45

change shifts at 1:00AM.

Early one morning while Clint Eastwood was sleeping,all the

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/09/2015:  10:28:50

cattle stampeded off to parts unknown, with Gil Favo(u)r shouting, "You dumb cowpoke,Rowdy!!"

With that, Rowdy

jistgreg - Posted - 07/09/2015:  14:55:04

pulled a chair down off the chuckwagon and set it down on the prairie. 

"Gil," he said to the empty chair,

OM45GE - Posted - 07/09/2015:  18:02:18

I would say that it's good to see you, but you're not there so it would be a lie. 

I'm starting to wonder

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/09/2015:  19:20:40

if the Hollywood high-life, (never mind Miller), has addled my Eastwoodian brain".

My perception of

jistgreg - Posted - 07/09/2015:  22:46:54

Things was a lot clearer when I was an actor, taking orders. 

Now that I'm a director, the world 

OM45GE - Posted - 07/10/2015:  15:12:22

a lot more confusing. 

The other day I tried to

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/10/2015:  15:59:25

Drive a nail in the wall with a pop-cycle stick.

Needless to say,it

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/10/2015:  17:26:57

stayed on my finger where it has become a hang nail.

Fingerpicks make good

OM45GE - Posted - 07/10/2015:  18:04:34

conversation starters but some folks will think it odd if you wear them to the dinner table. 

They will also look at you strangely if

jistgreg - Posted - 07/11/2015:  00:35:07

you wear a white tie and tails -- and nothing else. 

Ike Eisenhower was 

Edited by - jistgreg on 07/11/2015 00:35:39

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/11/2015:  03:27:35

one of the United States better presidents!! (And that's a fact)!!!

You can read about Superman but

OM45GE - Posted - 07/11/2015:  05:56:02

to really know him you have to fly a mile in his cape. 

He doesn't like to loan

jistgreg - Posted - 07/11/2015:  06:45:29

his Fortress of Solitude to Lois Lane and her boyfriend du jour, but he wants her to like him (Superman). 

If kryptonite is chunks of the planet Krypton, 

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/11/2015:  07:30:46

then samsonite is a hunk of Samson's hair that Delilah cut.

Give me forty acres

OM45GE - Posted - 07/11/2015:  09:41:44

and I'll turn this rig around is the motto of an incompetent truck driver. 

You shouldn't need more than

jistgreg - Posted - 07/11/2015:  19:05:41

a #4 rubber band and three inches of dog tag chain to disable a suitcase bomb. 

"Water, water ev'rywhere 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/12/2015:  06:09:28

after Greg left the bath tub water turned on.

But he got it

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/12/2015:  08:35:18

turned off by putting on his hip waders that he had worn to Woodstock.

The pet goldfish

jistgreg - Posted - 07/12/2015:  12:55:34

inside the waders had to swim quickly to dodge hairy toes and knees. 

Why do so many people think 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/12/2015:  15:39:40

I'm going the wrong way

I decided to go to the

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/12/2015:  17:18:48

best skid row bar in town - Grim Jim's Bar & Grill on Downcast Street.

The buses in that neighbo(u)rhood

jistgreg - Posted - 07/12/2015:  18:57:43

are driven on the left side of the street by drivers impo(u)rted from Britain.   

The job of pouring  at Grim Jim's 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/13/2015:  08:38:44

requires both hands,,,,,,they are very busy.


Only in the last few years have hot air

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/13/2015:  10:39:39

balloons been given tickets for ignoring the migration flight of black ducks.

The hot air

jistgreg - Posted - 07/13/2015:  10:48:05

from those who would be our leaders should be harnessed and used for good, not evil. 

I don't want to be 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 07/13/2015:  17:17:46

the first on to complain but the something by as to be done about the duck

Some of the waterways have become too

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/13/2015:  21:18:08

crappy to go inner tube floating.

All the quackery

jistgreg - Posted - 07/13/2015:  21:50:07

and the jiggery pokery must cease. 

I don't know about you, but 

banjoscotty - Posted - 07/14/2015:  04:30:43

that means BHO would have to shut down.

There's only one thing