chuckv97 - Posted - 09/14/2022:  07:29:58

used to tip over outhouses on Hallowe’en.

Our combined aglet collection

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/14/2022:  13:54:14

equals 37 pieces with about half of them being duplicates.

We scrounged

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/14/2022:  16:16:58

the local Walmart but didn't see any at all.

Next time

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/14/2022:  19:03:56

I’m taking the bus to the aglet factory.

I’ll bring my resume

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2022:  03:09:57

and apply for a job.

I don’t care what

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/15/2022:  07:49:48

what positions they have.

But

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2022:  07:56:24

I’ll be asking for a minimum of $65 per hour, with all the aglets I can sneak out in my lunchbox.

My resume has some holes in it, however,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/15/2022:  10:32:55

as does my lunch box.

Maybe

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/15/2022:  10:58:06

I should be looking for a new secretary.

Lately

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2022:  16:09:41

she’s been bringing salmon sandwiches in her lunch bag, stinking up the whole office.



Next thing you know it’ll be lutefisk

Edited by - chuckv97 on 09/15/2022 16:10:14

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/15/2022:  16:51:42

but the upside of that situation is that it will mask her wretched BO.

Sometimes

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/16/2022:  08:07:13

its so bad that it brings tears to ones eyes.

Yesterday

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/16/2022:  08:54:48

was the day before today.

It lasted 24 hours

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/16/2022:  12:34:22

but it seemed like an eternity.

My former

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/16/2022:  13:37:33

wife used to make my coffee out of creek water.

Lately

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/16/2022:  13:49:39

she texted me saying she’s sending me some home-made brownies.

That’ll be the day

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/16/2022:  15:03:00

that I really get so high I think I can fly.

The clouds are so

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/18/2022:  10:21:38

dense that I’m not sure if the airplane is going straight, up, or down.

That stupid alarm buzzer

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/18/2022:  10:32:28

has been on since last April.

It’s ringing in harmony with

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/18/2022:  10:53:44

with my new pacemaker causing all kinds of issues.

You would think

OM45GE - Posted - 09/19/2022:  02:45:17

They could think of a better way to keep my heart beating time.

Unfortunately

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/19/2022:  04:56:54

my G-string broke.

I thought

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/19/2022:  08:06:08

that I would get away from it this time.

Sadly

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/19/2022:  09:29:29

it flew up and poked me in the eye.

Now I can only see my right hand

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/19/2022:  14:42:04

if I’m looking toward my left hand, which I can only see in the mirror.

If that wasn’t

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/19/2022:  17:08:21

bad enough I couldn't see my feet either.

Seems lately I've

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/19/2022:  21:49:52

been wolfing down pizza and ice cream.

My sawbones recommends eating leafy greens

OM45GE - Posted - 09/20/2022:  03:59:29

as good for my bowels which I thought was a crappy thing to tell me.



He knows I

Edited by - OM45GE on 09/20/2022 03:59:52

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/20/2022:  08:39:02

have never raised a garden and don't care to.

I get my veggies

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/20/2022:  09:01:51

from Lay’s chips and Doritos.

Salad bars

OM45GE - Posted - 09/20/2022:  09:57:02

just seem like germ infested disease vectors.

I prefer my

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/20/2022:  11:16:07

fat laden, grease dripping, cheese oozing, artery clogging slider burgers over healthy food.

It’s been said

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/20/2022:  11:51:50

a fool and his grease are soon parted.

My burial plot

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/20/2022:  12:28:34

consists of a lift and a grease pit.

Seems rather

OM45GE - Posted - 09/20/2022:  14:05:57

apropos in an oily sort of way.

My relatives will watch me slip

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/20/2022:  14:37:58

slip into the Bar one more time, causing one last ruckus.

Meanwhile back at the

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/20/2022:  14:46:48

ranch, Pat Brady was greasing Nellybelle’s rear end.

He was grunting & groaning

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/20/2022:  16:15:47

as Dale walked by looking for Roy and Bullet.


About that time Trigger

OM45GE - Posted - 09/21/2022:  02:53:00

decided to make a break for it and leapt over the corral fencing and headed for the hills.

Nobody knew

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/21/2022:  06:00:14

where Buttermilk had wandered off to, so Roy rented a couple of mules and formed a search party.

“Party”, however, was an unfortunate choice of words

OM45GE - Posted - 09/21/2022:  09:53:56

because Pat Brady packed the Jeep with several cases of moonshine and some choice weed.

It wasn’t long before

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/21/2022:  10:13:48

the entire production team seemed a bit tipsy.

It was later proved that

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/21/2022:  12:08:26

Dale was with child, but no one knows who sired it.

Cameramen we’re fired willy-nilly

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/21/2022:  13:47:52

a few of them refused to leave the area.

This caused a

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/21/2022:  14:08:27

huge confusion between the bordello line and outhouse line, and more confusion yet about who was coming and who was going.



It wasn’t long

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 09/21/2022 14:11:23

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/21/2022:  14:12:23

before they brought in the National Guard to help them.

They set up

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/21/2022:  14:17:01

picnic tables and served KFC chicken Snack baskets and A&W root beer.

Turns out that

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/21/2022:  14:28:40

this was just the trick as most of them were really hungry after their long wait.

The officer in charge was

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/21/2022:  14:48:28

Captain Ralston Birmingham, a veteran of the African pigmy uprisings.

He drank