banjoscotty - Posted - 11/01/2015:  04:44:36

Murphy's law states the same thing.

Murphy was a country guy that

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/01/2015:  15:00:43

that couldn't grow corn , even using his wife's numerology charts for planting times.

All that came up

OM45GE - Posted - 11/01/2015:  17:01:39

was his blood pressure which didn't help anything. 

Sometimes he

jistgreg - Posted - 11/01/2015:  19:11:01

sat and thought and sometimes he just sat. 

But sitting on babies 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/02/2015:  01:59:00

bear's chair was juust right.

But then the 3 bears came home and

OM45GE - Posted - 11/02/2015:  03:53:41

found him sitting there, they proceeded to maul him to death and eat the remains. 

This wasn't told in the fairy tale but it's 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/02/2015:  06:17:35

definatly not true..I made it all up.

Sorry folks but sometimes I just can't resist to tell

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/02/2015:  12:38:49

a whopper after visiting Burger King.

Fast food makes me

jistgreg - Posted - 11/02/2015:  18:46:52

enjoy fasting. 

["My religion is with me wherever I go. On Friday, I fast; On Sunday, I slow." -Biff Rose] 

Slowing the tempo of my picking has left my 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/03/2015:  01:43:08

mind in a slower mode also..

Some say I'm a pea brain but really

OM45GE - Posted - 11/03/2015:  05:47:17

, that's a bit unfair and I sort of resent being compared to a vegetable.

The vegetables aren't too happy about it either because

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/03/2015:  08:29:51

they know that peas don't have brains.

Well,,perhaps they'll get it straightened out and

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/03/2015:  11:22:02

resume their normal garden domination activities.

My pumpkins

OM45GE - Posted - 11/03/2015:  14:49:56

are plotting an insurrection, I'm sure of it.

The first clue was

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/03/2015:  17:43:34

when they started organizing.

The larger pumpkins began to dominate and

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/03/2015:  18:51:36

and the smaller ones disguised themselves as squash.

Just wait till Thanksgiving dinner,

jistgreg - Posted - 11/03/2015:  23:56:13

when I'll have so many thoughts crowding in my head, I'll have to take a brain pee. 

Antimetabole is, aside from being a five-dollar word, the last resort of 

Edited by - jistgreg on 11/04/2015 00:02:07

OM45GE - Posted - 11/04/2015:  03:50:20

people using baffling words to baffle people using words less bafflingly. 

It's something that I 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/04/2015:  04:25:20

and Miriam/Webster can conquer.

But,,some of us just have to expound on using words that

OM45GE - Posted - 11/04/2015:  10:05:42

we still remember from grammar school.

It's easier than

MWBailey - Posted - 11/04/2015:  14:42:59

eating brownian-fluid pancakes with WD-40.



Sometimes, my chair looks like

Edited by - MWBailey on 11/04/2015 14:43:37

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/04/2015:  20:08:43

a good resting place.

You never can tell about

OM45GE - Posted - 11/05/2015:  06:18:20

chairs though, some mighty comfy looking ones have turned out to be pretty uncomfortable places to sit.

Placement has something to

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/05/2015:  08:25:08

to do with resting the buns.

Like, never sit on a pickle barrel because

OM45GE - Posted - 11/05/2015:  12:40:09

you don't want to get yourself into a pickle.

Speaking of brine, have you

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/05/2015:  13:54:11

been out sailing the briny ocean blue lately?

The melting ice bergs

OM45GE - Posted - 11/05/2015:  14:00:40

quote:

---

Originally posted by chuckv97

 

been out sailing the briny ocean blue lately?



The melting ice bergs

---

don't have any impact on the rising sea levels.

They are

MWBailey - Posted - 11/05/2015:  14:19:09

waterless flotation devices for alien fac tories

You never know which aliens are

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/05/2015:  15:26:51

possessing acutely sensitive olfactory glands with which they can smell out the cod schools.

Without textbooks,

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/05/2015:  15:42:10

it's difficult to communicate with them.

One of them said #%^<:)<<,,__--&$@@# which means

jistgreg - Posted - 11/05/2015:  23:54:55

"Ooh ee ooh ah ah, Ting, Tang, Walla Walla bing bang." 

My friend, the witch doctor, told me 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/06/2015:  01:34:56

to go home,take two aspirins, and call him in the morning.

But some of us are stubborn and don't

OM45GE - Posted - 11/06/2015:  03:47:48

follow doctors' orders even if we know that they are giving us good advice. 

Someone should 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/06/2015:  04:23:31

have a big pickin' party and invite all the BHO members.

I would do it but I have only 4 chairs and

OM45GE - Posted - 11/06/2015:  05:51:39

it's difficult to play banjo with several thousand people sitting on your lap.

I tried it once and

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/06/2015:  07:15:12

all the ladies just loved it.

Now the women all want to sit on my lap but

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/06/2015:  08:34:46

but my lap dogs growl and scare'em off.

Dogs lapping out of the toilet

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/06/2015:  11:23:22

KEEP THEIR OWNERS AWAKE AT NIGHT.

BUT IN THE DAYTIME THE LAZY DOGS JUST

OM45GE - Posted - 11/06/2015:  11:58:37

lie on the couch and use the remote to flip through channels on cable.

I'm thinking of cancelling

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/06/2015:  14:12:33

12 of my credit cards.

But I'm keeping the other 9 so

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/06/2015:  16:57:15

I can donate money to all those Presidential candidates.

I figure I'll scratch their back if

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/06/2015:  17:26:55

They'll tell me where it itches.

Man,,them Dudes don't even

OM45GE - Posted - 11/07/2015:  10:48:54

seem like they have a clue what it's like to work for a living.

Maybe I should

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/07/2015:  13:25:28

get on welfare too.

Never listen to a Miz-er-eee-un because

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/07/2015:  13:31:24

all they ever say is "Show me!", but old "Give'em Hell" Harry showed'em where the bear s*^t in the buckwheat.

Every time I cross the Mississippi

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/07/2015:  15:44:48

I say "Well,here I go across the Ole Mississippi again.

Then when I get to the other side I say,,

J e f f - Posted - 11/07/2015:  18:02:48

Hey, where are all of the dang chickens?

They must have

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/08/2015:  03:15:22

drowned on the way across the river.

Was Mike Fink on the Mississippi,,or was

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/08/2015:  06:16:39

he floating down the Wabash on the outhouse roof?

Five feet high and