OM45GE - Posted - 08/23/2017:  06:18:19

and told me I wasn't supposed to fish that way.

I tried to explain I was just returning a knife I had borrowed from the Walleye, but he 

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/23/2017:  20:23:58

said that was no excuse.

So we finally agreed to leave

OM45GE - Posted - 08/24/2017:  03:21:23

the $500 I happened to have with me on the seat of his car and forget the whole thing. 

It taught me that

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/24/2017:  08:24:42

greasing palms is a good way to get through life.

When I offered my pastor

OM45GE - Posted - 08/24/2017:  10:58:37

$50 to make sure I got into heaven, he yelled, "What kind of a preacher do you take me for?!?!?"

I would need at least

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/25/2017:  10:25:09

an extra fin for St. Peter's tip, and then a double sawbuck to appease Lucifer.

I think I'll just

OM45GE - Posted - 08/25/2017:  13:19:15

accept that heaven is an unreachable goal for me.

It may be for the best because

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/26/2017:  10:23:25

my confessions are in arrears.

Besides, I don't have an expiration date

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/26/2017:  13:26:00

although I shouldn't joke about such things..

We're not really going to

OM45GE - Posted - 08/26/2017:  17:41:01

burn in hell, but a light singeing isn't out fo the question.

I just hope they don't

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/26/2017:  20:27:05

ask me about the "incident" in 1971.

Even my hairdresser

OM45GE - Posted - 08/27/2017:  04:07:45

doesn't know for sure. 

I'm not sure what she doesn't know, but I'm sure she does know about

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/27/2017:  05:20:03

the time I switched places with her boyfriend.

We were have a good time till

OM45GE - Posted - 08/27/2017:  07:24:36

she turned the light on and good a good look at who she was with.

The expression on hr face was

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/27/2017:  09:56:46

one of horror and embarrassment.

She swore off liquor forever

OM45GE - Posted - 08/27/2017:  17:44:10

and poured a double bourbon to celebrate. 

When I pointed out the seeming incongruity, she

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/28/2017:  05:45:25

asked me to please leave.

But I sent Joey the Joker back to see

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/28/2017:  07:54:50

if she was out-of-sorts so's he could practice his "routine" on her.

Her sense of humo(u)r

OM45GE - Posted - 08/28/2017:  12:50:49

is limited to laughing at others misfortune.

It's not very nice, but

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/29/2017:  04:51:14

Joey grabbed her where he shouldn't have.

Well,that set off her fireworks so Joey

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/29/2017:  07:33:49

is now in a hospital ward.

His fans

OM45GE - Posted - 08/29/2017:  13:13:50

have started looting his house for memorabilia.

They figure, if he dies, it will

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/30/2017:  04:41:26

create a very large market for his junk.

Anyway Joey will be remembered for his

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/30/2017:  11:52:18

hijinks and lame jokes that got him on the C list of seedy club gigs.

He should've gone trucking

OM45GE - Posted - 08/30/2017:  14:02:32

and moved to Calgary like some of the finest banjo players we know.

It won't feel like home, but

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/31/2017:  04:49:36

he could still chew his Red Man there.

But one thing was lacking and that was

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/31/2017:  06:46:48

his desire to better himself.

He let his hair grow long

OM45GE - Posted - 08/31/2017:  10:52:11

in an effort to look younger but it had quire the opposite effect.

Now he looks like

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/31/2017:  18:31:37

an old scruffy gray-haired biker with a sour attitude.

He flirts with streetwalkers

OM45GE - Posted - 08/31/2017:  18:33:07

and they tell him to take a hike.

He doesn't understand why they

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/01/2017:  04:28:53

don't want him or his money.

He's thinking of going home but

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/01/2017:  10:01:49

he lost his map and his pet homing pigeon.

A drifter is his fate

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/02/2017:  05:11:24

but he needs a woman to lead the way.

Maybe two women would be better because

OM45GE - Posted - 09/03/2017:  16:46:47

he could persuade them to attend to his every wish and desire.

On the other hand, perhaps they would

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/03/2017:  18:50:49

tie him up and flog him mercilessly with a cat'o'nine tails.

Never underestimate sadists

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/04/2017:  06:59:03

who think you are like them.

The only ones that flog are

OM45GE - Posted - 09/04/2017:  15:03:31

also the only ones to write a tell-all memoir. 

The ones getting flogged usually don't 

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/04/2017:  15:55:31

enjoy a masochistic lifestyle, and often beat a hasty retreat to the Outer Hebrides.

I've decided to turn over a new leaf

OM45GE - Posted - 09/05/2017:  02:55:20

because the leaf I've been turning over is getting pretty ragged. 

I don't know what I'll find under the new leaf, but

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/05/2017:  03:53:18

it should be new.

Make sure the new leaf is

OM45GE - Posted - 09/05/2017:  04:37:07

not on someone else's property before you turn it over.

People can be very possessive of their leaves

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/05/2017:  05:02:31

when it's "turning over" time.

But not all leaves are

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/05/2017:  05:46:44

created equal, to wit the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Pluralizing a leaf

OM45GE - Posted - 09/05/2017:  17:29:30

by adding an "s" is not strictly correct but some writers use it to avoid confusion with the verb "leaves".

Personally, I prefer to

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/05/2017:  18:31:36

pluralize "sock" with the affectionate word "sox", a struggling group of batsmen who can't seem to pull their sox up.
The fen hangers-on are getting restless

OM45GE - Posted - 09/06/2017:  03:11:10

but feeling vindicated after a 19 inning walk-off victory. 

The game was so long, one of the Sox players was a year older when it ended, but he

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/06/2017:  04:21:26

retired his position with honors.

There have been many other games that

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/06/2017:  07:54:40

lasted into the wee hours, but those happen on Lovers Lane (no relation to Lois).

Hot dogs get cold

OM45GE - Posted - 09/06/2017:  10:35:52

when left underneath the seats at the ballpark.

They still taste OK but