banjoscotty - Posted - 10/23/2015:  04:59:50

young young damsel and she was responding.

Then I found out that she was promised to

OM45GE - Posted - 10/23/2015:  08:01:47

report me to the police if I didn't leave immediately.

That what when I realized

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/23/2015:  12:14:10

she was really an undercover police woman.

She put the cuffs on him and

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/23/2015:  12:25:26

and tied him to the bed post, then proceeded to take out her whip.

The last time I got a whipping

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/23/2015:  15:26:06

was when me and Billy Bob set the wheat field on fire.

Pappy sure heated us both up when he

OM45GE - Posted - 10/23/2015:  20:35:03

cornered us behind the outhouse and got out his willow switch. 

I finally stopped crying after 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/23/2015:  20:40:17

Mom turned on the Three Stooges.

Moe with his Beatles haircut

OM45GE - Posted - 10/23/2015:  20:52:50

scared me a little but Larry always made me laugh. 

I liked Curley better than

jistgreg - Posted - 10/24/2015:  01:52:04

my mom did. 

Bald men always gave her 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/24/2015:  05:01:55

a feeling of insecurity.

But Moe's hair turned her on so that she

OM45GE - Posted - 10/24/2015:  05:40:01

would watch the show while making little whimpering sounds and batting her eyes. 

Moe didn't seem to notice, but that may be because

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/24/2015:  07:07:57

he didn't have ESP , and was rollicking with Hollywood babes into the "whee" hours.

A stooge and his money

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/24/2015:  08:28:27

will never keep a honey.

So keep in mind that only

Scaggs7 - Posted - 10/24/2015:  17:59:22

the rich can play that game

the only other time I

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/24/2015:  20:08:06

really enjoyed myself was when Monica was there.

She cooked the best chicken but never

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/24/2015:  20:53:40

complained about me spitting out bones or loudly burping with grease hanging off my chin.

Monica was raised

jistgreg - Posted - 10/25/2015:  01:35:28

high on a platform without apparent support during an illusionist's act. 

She never should have volunteered because 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/25/2015:  05:17:42

she was left "up in the air" about it.

Monica was screaming"GET ME DOWN FROM HERE" when her boyfriend

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/25/2015:  07:16:14

showed up with a ladder and the jaws of life.

Never one to shrink from danger,

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/27/2015:  02:54:18

He climbed the ladder,brought her down,and they lived happy ever after.

They loved each other so much that

OM45GE - Posted - 10/27/2015:  08:22:14

Oprah tried to book them on to one of her shows focused on successful marriages.

They ended up being the only

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/27/2015:  08:35:35

couple that brought Oprah to tears with their sickeningly sweet love story.



There was, however, a

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/27/2015 08:36:54

OM45GE - Posted - 10/27/2015:  08:45:50

moment of comic relief when a man rushed onto the set and claimed he and Monica were, in fact, married.

He had photos and a copy of the marriage certificate and Monica was forced to

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/27/2015:  09:07:50

go home with him.

She messed that one up when she

OM45GE - Posted - 10/27/2015:  12:24:11

revealed that she was, in fact, a he.

Monica ended up going home alone that evening but did get an offer to

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/27/2015:  15:32:04

entertain the boys at the naval base.

Bell bottoms and poop decks

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/27/2015:  16:25:01

are a good match for those dudes.

The ship left her standing right

OM45GE - Posted - 10/28/2015:  03:32:42

at the end of the dock, weeping softly and looking thoroughly forlorn. 

A passing sailor approached her and

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/28/2015:  06:02:28

asked if he might be of help to her.

She said Yes,,Thank you,,and you can start by

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/28/2015:  06:08:57

giving me your sailor's uniform so I can go as Popeye on Halloween.

But a sailor without his bell bottoms

OM45GE - Posted - 10/28/2015:  06:19:22

is out of uniform and that's the naked truth.

They wouldn't be able to

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/28/2015:  07:55:58

sing "Bell Bottom Trousers".

That would be a disgrace to

OM45GE - Posted - 10/28/2015:  12:07:03

US Navy and the men an women who proudly serve.

On the other hand, most of them have been naked at one time or another so they

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/28/2015:  12:25:26

don't mind having their birthday suits sent to the cleaners.

Making sense of military life

OM45GE - Posted - 10/28/2015:  13:44:27

sometimes seems like an exercise in futility and my futility has already had enough exercise.

I think it is time to

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/29/2015:  02:35:49

retire and go to the Florida Keys.

Or you could just stay home and

OM45GE - Posted - 10/29/2015:  06:28:25

Watch Key Largo endlessly on Netflix and pretend you're in the Keys. 

Rum would help make the experience

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/29/2015:  07:25:47

a lot less enjoyable,,YUCK-A-ROOY!!

You should drink apple juice so you

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/29/2015:  07:28:33

won't have to deal with tough skin and the pits.

Crab apples make me

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/30/2015:  02:07:55

make me have to much energy,,and they don't taste good either.

I could have had a V-8 instead of

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/30/2015:  07:56:30

that old big block 6-banger, but Leroy blew the head gasket last night.

His pappy said,"Son,

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2015:  09:04:46

you're going to drive me to drinking if you don't stop driving that hot rod Lincoln. 

Telephone poles looked like picket fences 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/31/2015:  09:32:11

because they were drinking Kicky Poo Joy Juice.

They say if you drive while

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/31/2015:  09:38:04

juiced, then picket fences will enter your vehicle by way of smashed windshield.

Full moons are

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/31/2015:  10:41:28

are fun to share with a pretty female.

Or even an ugly one if

OM45GE - Posted - 10/31/2015:  14:50:24

you've had enough  Kicky Poo Joy Juice to drink. 

I estimate it would take approximately 

jistgreg - Posted - 11/01/2015:  01:02:41

three foot pounds to really hurt your foot. 

As for light years, 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/01/2015:  03:16:26

I do prefer them to the dark ones.

Not only that but the dark years were

OM45GE - Posted - 11/01/2015:  04:17:37

about five times longer than the light ones  

It was because of the theory of