jistgreg - Posted - 08/16/2014:  16:19:48

would care to relive was when Robin Williams deconstructed the president. 

I would be sad now, but 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 08/16/2014:  16:31:05

we can't help what happened to the other people in the movie because the waves were too high. Or something was too high.

the next time I jump I will

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/16/2014:  16:38:28

take some basketball player's special pills.

My calves

Scaggs7 - Posted - 08/16/2014:  17:00:30

Have grown to 475# in just three months . going to be a good year

the last trip was not so good because

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2014:  18:33:20

the travel agent booked us to a war zone by mistake. 

I think

jistgreg - Posted - 08/16/2014:  19:00:16

that since my ex-wife became my travel agent she makes waaay to many mistakes. 

My opinion of giant spiders 

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/17/2014:  02:37:30

is that they are too big.

Only midgets that are less than 3 1/2 ft.tall shall

Scaggs7 - Posted - 08/17/2014:  18:16:28

inherit the world

only then. shall we

BigMonFan - Posted - 08/17/2014:  18:31:10

little big rulers.

The length of a quart and the weight of a yard

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/17/2014:  19:42:58

is the cube root of the whole shebang.

Dangling participles

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/18/2014:  03:17:05

are called grapes.

Grandpa always penned up the chickens at night because

OM45GE - Posted - 08/18/2014:  04:35:00

the coyotes would kill any left out overnight.

It was

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/18/2014:  06:50:26

a good country music festival last week end.

This screw driver only

Edited by - banjoscotty on 08/18/2014 06:51:29

OM45GE - Posted - 08/18/2014:  07:17:35

fits very tiny screws.

It's not

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/18/2014:  10:10:57

a power driver either.

This guitar only

OM45GE - Posted - 08/18/2014:  10:31:47

cost $2.00 but I'm not sure if I got my money's worth.

It only has

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/18/2014:  12:48:49

one fret,so I'm not gonna play Yakety Axe.

If I capo

OM45GE - Posted - 08/18/2014:  13:35:10

up one fret I basically have a fret less guitar.

Have you every tried

Scaggs7 - Posted - 08/18/2014:  16:51:26

smoking while playing FMB

The dry grass

OM45GE - Posted - 08/18/2014:  17:12:48

and the hot banjo are a potent combination.

I once got so

Scaggs7 - Posted - 08/18/2014:  17:49:46

much attention from the gals while pickin the banjo I had to has security to keep them off me

the owner of the. ranch

OM45GE - Posted - 08/18/2014:  17:57:57

was so impressed with the performance, he offered me a permanent gig. 

But I

Scaggs7 - Posted - 08/18/2014:  18:20:43

had other. things in mind liked gold mining and lounging around with friends that I never new

this. thing. got stuck

OM45GE - Posted - 08/19/2014:  02:59:39

and I couldn't get it moving no matter what I did.

We left it

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/19/2014:  03:02:46

and let all of my moonshine spill on the ground.

They were having a corn shuckin contest so

OM45GE - Posted - 08/19/2014:  03:06:04

we got down to some serious shucking along with my mom who was a serious mother shucker.

She shucked

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/19/2014:  05:46:17

every one of those other shuckers completely shuckless.

Never before have they been

OM45GE - Posted - 08/19/2014:  07:22:03

so out shucked by one mother shucker.

Guinness Book of Records

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/19/2014:  09:00:39

came by with their mother-shucking meter.

They disqualified

OM45GE - Posted - 08/19/2014:  10:58:05

everyone one there because none of them were members of the Useless Record Hopefuls Union.

Everyone went home

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/19/2014:  14:41:43

to practice shucking corn.

Then came the

OM45GE - Posted - 08/19/2014:  15:31:34

end of the harvest, when there was no more corn that needed shucking.

Everyone sank into

Scaggs7 - Posted - 08/19/2014:  16:01:05

a slumber and. slept

the old cow

OM45GE - Posted - 08/19/2014:  17:06:32

jumped over the moon, improbably fulfilling the nursery rhyme.

Now if we could only find

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/19/2014:  19:23:52

the cat and the fiddle.

They'd make a good

jistgreg - Posted - 08/20/2014:  02:35:46

opening act for the Laughing Dog. 

I don't want to hear "Jingle Bells" 

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/20/2014:  03:34:22

on the 4th of July.

I might like to live in North Dakota but

OM45GE - Posted - 08/20/2014:  04:32:19

the keep turning me back at the border. 

They won't say

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/20/2014:  06:56:29

why I can't come in?

Well,"by cracky", I'll just

OM45GE - Posted - 08/20/2014:  07:42:33

sneak in through Canada. 

They can't watch

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/20/2014:  08:05:49

out for more than one banjo player at a time ,especially with a Mountie escort.

The Fargo breakdown

OM45GE - Posted - 08/20/2014:  08:44:40

has been giving me a lot of trouble.

Especially the

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/20/2014:  12:13:59

one from Fargo.

But really All I need to do is

jistgreg - Posted - 08/20/2014:  13:21:10

throw my $98 plastic Epiphone in the wood chipper. 

The guy in Fargo did something like that and 

Edited by - jistgreg on 08/20/2014 13:23:50

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/20/2014:  15:49:07

it came out a set of Tupperware.

$13 and two songs ago they

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/20/2014:  16:19:24

were complaining of banjo abuse-now they can't get enough.

My tip jar

OM45GE - Posted - 08/20/2014:  16:30:46

is overflowing.

Unfortunately, it's overflowing with

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/20/2014:  17:30:59

IOU's.

Well,that's life here in

Scaggs7 - Posted - 08/20/2014:  17:34:38

the where I live and things don't seem to improve anymore like it used to

some one came over and