chuckv97 - Posted - 05/31/2023:  08:52:06

halcyon days on the farm.

Our outhouse

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 05/31/2023:  14:53:08

was equipped with a battery operated, remote controlled, Acme Electric Ass Scratcher, model # AEAS-ICU812

Occasionally

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/31/2023:  15:25:17

I roam the back country for some dandy outhouse photography.

However, many sit unoccupied

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/01/2023:  04:59:11

so I bring along my curvy cousin Edna to pose in various outhouse sitting positions for an outhouse of the month calendar.

My goal

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/01/2023:  22:20:54

is to score big.

At what I’m not sure

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/02/2023:  06:37:25

but hopefully it’s a hat-trick.

Which reminds me

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/02/2023:  15:31:24

of halcyon days on the farm pond in winter playing hockey.

Pucks were hard to get

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/03/2023:  13:23:02

so we made our own out of frozen cow pies and called them “prairie pucks”.

We improvised

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/07/2023:  12:19:07

a Stanley Cup made out of an old cream can.

When spring comes on the bald prairie

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/20/2023:  06:08:45

I will move to higher ground and live amongst the pines.

I will eat

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/20/2023:  11:32:26

fiddlehead ferns and wild raspberries ‘til my innards rebel.

Logging

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/20/2023:  17:55:52

out a “grumpy” in a single hole outhouse is one of life’s unspoken pleasures.

All too often

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/21/2023:  20:14:07

I’m interrupted by a hungry, roving bear.

BooBoo and Yogi

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/22/2023:  15:41:45

were planning a Jellystone Park picnic basket heist with Snagglepuss.

Unfortunately Ranger Smith

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/22/2023:  16:06:27

and Deputy Fife got drunk with Festus Hagen.

Pat Brady ended up in rehab

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/23/2023:  04:42:50

with Buddy Guy and Betty Ford.

Meanwhile

Dempsey-T2 - Posted - 06/23/2023:  04:59:04

..nearby next my outhouse far up the river Nile my talking camel whispers that..

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/23/2023:  09:24:06

we won’t be celebrating Christmas this year.

Without snow

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/23/2023:  14:02:48

tires on my Mini Cooper it’s virtually useless for winter driving.

Not only that

Dempsey-T2 - Posted - 06/25/2023:  03:42:16

Deputy Fife arrived at the casino determined to play spin-wheel with his old partner
Jack black..

just about this time..

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/25/2023:  11:38:37

my watch stopped.

I’ll be behind time

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/26/2023:  04:47:31

, behind the 8 Ball, and behind bars if I don’t mend my ways.

Speaking of

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/26/2023:  15:50:29

bars, my tab at Grim Jim’s is off the charts.

He tried phoning me

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/27/2023:  05:05:00

but I make a point not to receive his calls.

Whenever

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/01/2023:  10:00:56

my wife answers Jim makes flirtatious overtures to her.

Some day he’ll pay

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/02/2023:  06:03:25

her what she’s worth and then he’ll get his ears pinned back.

But for now

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/04/2023:  20:20:00

I’m heading for Jim’s competitor Joizy Joe’s Boozecan.

Joe and I

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/05/2023:  11:40:00

often reminisce about the day we shared the two hole outhouse and simultaneously “dropped a deuce”.



Nothing like the

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 07/05/2023 11:40:28

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/05/2023:  16:05:56

smell of old pals’ flatulation memories.

We once cleared out a subway car

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/05/2023:  18:16:52

by pulling each others finger on the count of 3.

I remember

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/08/2023:  14:57:49

memories that had escaped my memory bank since 1966.



That was the year

Edited by - chuckv97 on 07/08/2023 14:58:26

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/09/2023:  05:49:49

We went visit our cousins who, unbeknown to us, had just become nudists.

It was apparent

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/10/2023:  13:49:07

that they were not “kissin’ cousins”.

Some folks never get over improper toilet training

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/10/2023:  16:52:29

and are easily identifiable as those that drag their A$$ on the carpet.

Its usually

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/12/2023:  18:54:31

about that time that my wife reads the riot act.

She yells frequently

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/13/2023:  05:06:09

and for no particular reason other than I play banjo a lot.

Could be she hates

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/18/2023:  08:00:22

competing with G string pull-offs.

I tried teaching her doghouse bass

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/18/2023:  10:37:21

but she’s insistent upon taking up accordion.

At the music store

KyBanjo - Posted - 07/21/2023:  16:21:09

I noticed an older Mastertone sitting in the corner .

I later found out that

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/21/2023:  16:34:10

it was a converted tenor banjo with the only Mastertone parts being the armrest, tailpiece, and a couple of hooks and nuts.

The price

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/22/2023:  05:46:11

nearly bowled me over.

Speaking of bowling,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/23/2023:  09:23:14

my uncle joined a naked bowling league.

Little did he know

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/26/2023:  17:51:40

that all the women were over 75 years old.

He was scolded by some to get his mind out of the gutter

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 07/27/2023:  04:48:23

which upset him to the point that his balls were mostly in the gutter.

His next adventure

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/31/2023:  08:36:54

took him to the Tiddly-Winks Championships in E. Peoria.

Unfortunately, a rogue

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/02/2023:  05:38:08

wink sent him head over heels into a questionable relationship with an accountant from Sheboygan.

It was

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/04/2023:  15:40:04

there that he caught a 2-headed smallmouth bass off the pier on L. Michigan.

Beaches at Gary, IN

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/05/2023:  08:39:03

are family friendly, especially the Gary Bathing Beach.

If you go there

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/05/2023:  09:16:01

take a stiff brush with you to scrape off the toxic residue from your skin.

My sawbones quit seeing me