OM45GE - Posted - 03/23/2021:  17:14:02

that his seatbelt wasn’t buckled.

That gave them an excuse to

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/23/2021:  19:19:13

call in the riot squad with their military vehicles.

Ol’ Buford tried

OM45GE - Posted - 03/24/2021:  02:59:49

tried to explain that the seatbelt wouldn’t buckle around his enormous belly.

To prove it, he

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/24/2021:  03:47:09

got into the back of the police squad car using it’s seatbelt to demonstrate.

He suddenly realized

OM45GE - Posted - 03/24/2021:  04:14:30

that the police had installed extra long seatbelts to accommodate their more rotund prisoners.

he also realized that

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/24/2021:  04:56:36

once the belt was buckled it could not be removed.

At the police station

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/24/2021:  08:15:17

Sgt. O’Rourke read him the riot act.

They threw him in a cell for non-compliance

OM45GE - Posted - 03/24/2021:  11:29:43

where he has been languishing for the last three months.

He's tried to retain an attorney, but

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/25/2021:  04:47:26

to no avail, until one day, they up and dropped all charges and he was a free man.

To celebrate

OM45GE - Posted - 03/25/2021:  05:08:29

he decided to move out of state.

Not sure where to go, Buford asked

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/25/2021:  07:01:57

“Truckstop Tina” at Sammy’s Semi Stop if she knew of any State allowing former jail birds to retain Class 1 licenses.

Tina told him to head west

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/25/2021:  08:28:35

and so he did ending up in Coos Bay, Oregon.

Once he got there

OM45GE - Posted - 03/25/2021:  08:50:58

he looked for the nearest tavern.

He was hoping for

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/25/2021:  11:25:27

Happy Hour prices where Rusty Nails were 5 for a double sawbuck.

Alas, he came to realize

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/25/2021:  12:55:57

that this Tavern would be his new hangout after work.

Later that night

OM45GE - Posted - 03/25/2021:  13:27:06

he stumbled out into the parking lot and searched for his car.

Apparently he had forgotten

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/25/2021:  13:34:49

that parking in skidrow is a risky proposition.

All that was left

OM45GE - Posted - 03/26/2021:  03:38:56

was an oil stain and a couple of lug nuts.

Speaking of nuts,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/26/2021:  08:49:33

did you hear two peanuts were walking down the road and one was assaulted?

Later that night

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/26/2021:  09:24:29

the other died laughing.

Jimmy Carter

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/26/2021:  14:29:40

decided that those two nuts should be honored with a Presidential Citation.

It read

OM45GE - Posted - 03/26/2021:  15:03:43

Peas, peas, peas, peas, eating goober peas.

Goodness how delicious,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/26/2021:  17:22:17

and addicting peanut butter is and if that’s just a rumor we should spread it.

I like

OM45GE - Posted - 03/27/2021:  03:04:17

butter people up before making puns.

Some folks don’t think

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/27/2021:  05:37:18

it's very funny but I find it hilarious.

Seems all of us

OM45GE - Posted - 03/27/2021:  05:49:13

are in agreement about pretty much nothing.

We can always find a reason

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/27/2021:  07:36:18

to stab each other in the back.

As one stabee gets stabbed

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/27/2021:  12:33:28

the other potential stabbers seem to smell blood and pile on.

Personally, I don’t really

OM45GE - Posted - 03/29/2021:  03:00:40

care for penetration wounds, figurative or real.

I very much prefer

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/29/2021:  09:25:55

flesh wounds administered by my sadist galpal Brunhilda.

She delights in

OM45GE - Posted - 03/29/2021:  09:56:48

finding the point right before the pain becomes unbearable and then keeping you there until you beg for mercy.



Sometimes she goes

Edited by - OM45GE on 03/29/2021 09:57:03

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/29/2021:  11:58:48

over the edge.

Once

OM45GE - Posted - 03/29/2021:  12:11:24

I realized how erratic her behavior could be, I decided to stay away from her all together.

That proved to be more difficult

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/29/2021:  14:11:01

than threading a needle with a steel cable.

So I asked Sgt. O’Hara to lock me up

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/29/2021:  17:52:52

overnight.

In the morning

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/29/2021:  19:15:05

after breakfast I was finally released once again.

Before leaving the Sarge told me to

OM45GE - Posted - 03/30/2021:  03:16:54

come back anytime.

I plan

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/30/2021:  05:43:39

to visit at Thanksgiving.

Maybe

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/30/2021:  07:38:47

the turkey won’t be so tough this year.

Brunhilda bought a new set of

OM45GE - Posted - 03/30/2021:  08:42:40

Ping golf clubs which is very interesting.

She doesn't golf and

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/30/2021:  12:19:46

I really don't think she has the time to learn.

She will probably

OM45GE - Posted - 03/30/2021:  12:31:47

use them them to intimidate her friends and relatives.

Either that, or

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/30/2021:  12:52:51

it’s driving time tonight,, on my sorry-looking carcass.

I should have hooked up with a masochist instead

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/30/2021:  14:43:56

of big Brunhilda.

I might

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/30/2021:  17:56:31

really be in trouble with her but hop to sneak out.

Well it didnt

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/30/2021:  19:37:21

happen as planned and now the photo of my black & blue carcass is on every Sadist-Fan Facebook group.

I guess bad press is better than no press

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/31/2021:  03:44:23

In some cases,no press is better.

When will they ever

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/31/2021:  04:11:16

learn.

Maybe

OM45GE - Posted - 03/31/2021:  04:30:41

you really can’t teach old dogs new tricks.

However, in this case, perhaps