chuckv97 - Posted - 10/14/2015:  17:36:21

armpits, a definite turnoff for this cowboy.

She read my mind, then slapped

OM45GE - Posted - 10/15/2015:  03:20:30

me silly for what I hadn't planned to do. 

If she was so good at predicting the future, why isn't she

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/15/2015:  05:18:57

helping Hillary with the campaign?

It really doesn't matter because

OM45GE - Posted - 10/15/2015:  06:30:10

even tomorrow is yesterday's news when your clairvoyant.

Honestly, I sort of doubt

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/15/2015:  10:09:38

if this peanut butter came from Plains,Ga.

Maybe it came from

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/15/2015:  12:32:19

contented peanut-eating cows on the High Plains of Saskatchewan.

Churning butter is

OM45GE - Posted - 10/16/2015:  03:49:58

primarily done by machines nowadays so the fantasy of a sexy milkmaid stroking the churning handle up and down, is just that, a fantasy. 

That doesn't mean we can't 

jistgreg - Posted - 10/16/2015:  04:20:16

fantasize about a sexy BPOTOS (banjo picker of the opposite sex) sliding her or his hand up and down, up and down the neck. 

If I didn't mean the neck of the banjo, I wouldn't 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/16/2015:  04:25:07

do anything at all.

I have to get the pickle barrel ready for

OM45GE - Posted - 10/16/2015:  04:40:21

the checkers tournament down at the country store.

I hope to

Edited by - OM45GE on 10/16/2015 04:40:43

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/16/2015:  07:18:33

also bring a Cracker Barrel for our Georgia friends.

A Georgia cracker

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/16/2015:  07:21:16

win the $3.00 prize this year.

During this time it is very important to

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/16/2015:  07:23:22

remember who posted first, second, and who's on third.

A butting in will not be

MWBailey - Posted - 10/16/2015:  11:19:06

tolerated.

Ha Ha Ha, you said "

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/16/2015:  12:47:01

it,I didn't.

If you can't find your place in line,just wait

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/16/2015:  12:51:35

on the corner - a cop will put you in a police lineup.

And remember- all good things

OM45GE - Posted - 10/17/2015:  08:23:05

are probably going to be gone when you stop dreaming so get realistic.

Sorry to be so

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/17/2015:  09:40:56

blunt but you gotta grow up.

After we spiked the punch bowl,all the teachers

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/17/2015:  13:41:45

kicked off their spiked heel pumps and did the raunchy boogie.

The girls' gym teacher

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/17/2015:  16:10:47

tried to get a basketball game started.

But everyone was eating cake and ice-cream so

MWBailey - Posted - 10/18/2015:  05:13:13

she started a precision water ballet in the punchbowl

The other teachers were all impressed by her huge

jistgreg - Posted - 10/18/2015:  14:52:53

resumé (600 pages), but some wondered why she changed jobs so much. 

The size of the punchbowl 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/18/2015:  19:22:49

was a 10 foot knockoff of the Hawaain Punch Bowl, a raucous New Year's game in the magic islands.

The Pacific westerlies

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/19/2015:  03:29:12

are nowhere near Okeechobee Lake..

When in doubt,don't

OM45GE - Posted - 10/19/2015:  05:48:01

stick your head in the aligator's mouth.

I did and look

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/19/2015:  08:34:31

at the mess my hair is now.

Not only that, but

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/19/2015:  10:58:17

I broke 3 of his teeth.

I offered to take him to dentist but he

OM45GE - Posted - 10/19/2015:  14:46:19

said he actually preferred the way he looked.

I thought it was

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/19/2015:  14:55:27

a trick so I shot him.

The bullet bounced right off of him and

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/19/2015:  16:51:55

ricocheted (I think that's francais) right through Sgt. O'Hara's squad car windshield.



Scotty hightailed it

 

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/19/2015 16:52:11

OM45GE - Posted - 10/19/2015:  17:46:23

out of there so quickly that we doubted he had ever been there in the first place. 

It wasn't very 

jistgreg - Posted - 10/20/2015:  02:43:18

polite of him to leave so abruptly without saying goodbye and thanking the hostess. 

Which reminds me, a host of locusts 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/20/2015:  03:10:03

will play havoc with a corn field.

Never let a crow slip passed

OM45GE - Posted - 10/20/2015:  04:40:48

with out considering that many scientists consider them one of the most intelligent animals.

For example, they are able to

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/20/2015:  06:28:00

say "CAW,,CAW" any time they want to.

Cows are stupid,they can't say "CAW", so they

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/20/2015:  07:25:18

just settle for "moo", a word of deeply profound meaning in the bovine language.

Pasteurized cows

OM45GE - Posted - 10/20/2015:  15:30:28

are not the same thing as cows in a pasture.

For one thing, they

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/20/2015:  17:23:31

are not pasteurized,,the milk is.

Any hillbilly dairy farmer knows when

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/20/2015:  19:02:58

Louis Pasteur boiled his milk one Sunday morning before Mass.

His grandpa ran a guillotine

OM45GE - Posted - 10/21/2015:  08:08:12

sales shop called "More Than A Little Off The Top".

His sense of humor was

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/21/2015:  08:34:27

of the dark variety, having grown up in a French cavern.

Many headless horsemen

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/21/2015:  19:18:54

could not see where they were going.

As a result,some of them ended up in

OM45GE - Posted - 10/22/2015:  03:26:09

novels and movies based on those novels. 

Hopefully their contracts include

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/22/2015:  05:15:02

free visits to the Eye Dr.

Well,,,yeah,,,I saw upper leg once but that

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/22/2015:  10:37:06

was when I was in my prime, and driving a '53 Buick Roadmaster.

Sgt. O'Hara confiscated my suicide knob

OM45GE - Posted - 10/22/2015:  11:50:12

and was about to write me up for my exhaust cutouts.

Then he noticed

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/22/2015:  14:51:22

how low it was sitting in the rear and made me open the trunk.

Never try to run bootleg booze when Rosco P.Coletrane is

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/22/2015:  15:43:10

the federal revenuer on your trail driving his souped up Rocket 88.

But Rosco's weak spot

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/22/2015:  16:24:13

was that cutie pie,,,Daisy Duke.

It's kind of like when we