chuckv97 - Posted - 02/14/2022:  17:37:27

enforced by Gordie Howe types the pucks would again be plentiful.

My wife tried frying 3 breaded pucks

OM45GE - Posted - 02/15/2022:  02:39:34

which were surprisingly tender and tasty compared to her chicken fried steak.

I’m not saying she’s

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/15/2022:  06:20:12

the absolute worst cook, but I will say that in my house we pray after we eat.



Actually, her cooking is so bad

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 02/15/2022 06:20:25

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/15/2022:  06:52:10

my dog Bones refuses table scraps.

My Valentine’s gift was a Betty Crocker cookbook

OM45GE - Posted - 02/15/2022:  10:29:05

but she’s been tearing out the pages and using them for toilet paper.

Not only that,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/15/2022:  12:14:33

she’s plugged up all the toilets in the house with crumpled up printed pages.

She used to complain about flushing

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/15/2022:  12:17:46

and often used the backyard outhouse.

It was in there she read

OM45GE - Posted - 02/15/2022:  17:44:53

Lady Chatterly’s Lover from cover to cover.

She was

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/16/2022:  06:03:45

so engrossed in reading the volume that she didn’t realize that her legs had “fallen asleep”.

When she

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/16/2022:  06:08:54

stood up she toppled over and crashed through the unlatched door out onto the grass.



Biff Bootlich, my neighbour,

Edited by - chuckv97 on 02/16/2022 06:09:17

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/16/2022:  14:09:41

confidant, voice of reason, spiritual inspiration, and part time friend owes me $20.

I’m about ready

OM45GE - Posted - 02/17/2022:  02:09:30

to write it off as a bad debt but I doubt I’ll be able to claim it on my tax return.

I’ve got to learn

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/17/2022:  03:02:09

to speak Spanish.

My neighbor

OM45GE - Posted - 02/17/2022:  03:58:06

always switches to Spanish when I arrive and I think he’s talking about me in front of me.

If I could understand

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/17/2022:  08:00:41

him I would throw out my Spanish/English dictionary.

His wife Rosita

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/17/2022:  08:30:04

is know for her tasty taco, and her tortillas aren't bad either.



She

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 02/17/2022 08:32:40

OM45GE - Posted - 02/17/2022:  12:49:48

is one hot little jalapeño.

I like

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/17/2022:  12:58:40

hearing senoritas talk Spanish, the loving tongue.

My tongue

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/17/2022:  14:37:19

is tied into a sheepshank knot.

My Boy Scout

OM45GE - Posted - 02/17/2022:  17:13:14

Troop leader could be a cruel task master.

He once had us

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/18/2022:  04:05:08

paint the entire outside of his house without the use of a ladder.

He claimed

OM45GE - Posted - 02/18/2022:  10:17:33

standing on each other’s shoulders was a team building exercise.

For us it was an exercise in

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/18/2022:  10:44:17

futility and humiliation.

He said it deflates our over-blown egos

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/18/2022:  10:46:37

but we exercised patience and self control to keep the entire scout pack from attacking him and ripping out his self-serving, miserable, rotten, black heart with our bare hands.



Later that evening

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 02/18/2022 10:47:15

OM45GE - Posted - 02/18/2022:  17:35:44

We decided the hell with it, and did just that.

It was quite liberating, however

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/18/2022:  17:49:35

Sgt. O’Hara arrived on the scene to issue us summonses for heartbreaking.

We surrounded his squad car

OM45GE - Posted - 02/19/2022:  02:44:54

and explained what prompted our youthful exuberance.

He decided it was understandable and

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/19/2022:  04:47:07

treated us all to ice cream.

That might have been

OM45GE - Posted - 02/19/2022:  10:03:23

the end of it if the Boy Scouts of America hadn’t wanted to give us a reward.

They said we

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/19/2022:  10:27:19

eliminated an infiltrator in their midst,, a regular Judas Iscariot if you will.

His primary goal

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/19/2022:  11:38:33

was exposed to be a complicated plot to encourage the Scouts to sell bogus banjo string insurance to unsuspecting banjo players. 



The plan

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 02/19/2022 11:43:04

OM45GE - Posted - 02/19/2022:  17:30:00

was to use the funds to set up a training camp for separatist francophones.

They refused to

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/19/2022:  18:01:11

head north to frozen Quebec so they set up a virtual camp.

Virtual wood was used for

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2022:  02:35:48

virtual fires on their smart TV’s.

Their shivering wasn’t

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/20/2022:  04:32:42

in vain as the local townspeople took pity and donated virtual blankets and virtual space heaters to use with virtual camp electricity.

It wasn’t long

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/20/2022:  10:11:01

before separatists descended upon a virtual Ottawa to set up virtual bouncy castles.

They had virtual sex

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/20/2022:  10:45:06

and afterwards smoked virtual doobies which left them wanting.

It was then that they realized

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2022:  14:26:56

they had been sadly deluded by the lunatic fringe.

They wished they hadn’t

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/21/2022:  04:27:23

ever purchased such contraptions as computers.

So they ordered a telephone land line

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/21/2022:  06:16:43

, cut up their credit cards, and bought a 58 Buick Roadmaster with low miles, decent brakes, and fair tires.

Returning to Old School

OM45GE - Posted - 02/21/2022:  17:47:20

proved to be difficult but well worth the effort.

They were so

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/22/2022:  03:41:10

engrossed in the Hippie way of life that they forgot to pay their property taxes.



It wasn’t long

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 02/22/2022 03:42:31

OM45GE - Posted - 02/22/2022:  03:46:36

before the county took title to their land and elected the lot of them.

That led to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/22/2022:  03:59:54

mass confusion in the community, resulting in a civil uprising.

Government officials

OM45GE - Posted - 02/22/2022:  06:59:38

struggle to regain order but lacked the diplomatic skills.

The started out trying to

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/22/2022:  07:18:50

appease the rioters with marshmallow cocoa.

That led to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 02/22/2022:  08:47:02

fires being built to roast SMORES which violated the posted burning ban.

Little did they know

OM45GE - Posted - 02/22/2022:  11:37:37

that the fire would ignite gas from a leaking underground gas main and set the entire downtown on fire.

The local volunteer fire department

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/22/2022:  13:19:39

ran for their lives.

“I ain’t no martyr!”, yelled one