banjoscotty - Posted - 01/06/2018:  02:57:15

had challenged him.

But what is a Buck supposed to do when

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/06/2018:  12:14:09

people in Florida keep calling him “Buick”.

A buck and his doe are soon parted

OM45GE - Posted - 01/06/2018:  14:12:35

as soon as she realizes doing it for a buck is selling herself short.

She could get

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/07/2018:  03:07:25

she could get twice that much if she had two "bucks".

But females always seem to

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/07/2018:  04:15:37

hang on to one partner til all the money’s gone, but then maybe I’m generalizing.

My last gal pal wanted me to wear a sombrero

OM45GE - Posted - 01/08/2018:  03:19:22

when ever I was feeling frisky.

Unfortunately, she ignored

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/09/2018:  03:09:09

my sexual advances and concentrated on the money.

HA,HA,,,Wasn't she surprised when the IRS

OM45GE - Posted - 01/09/2018:  03:40:52

took every last cent.

The only thing left was

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/09/2018:  05:34:27

the "81" Ford with the donut tire on it.

She said she would return for

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/09/2018:  06:00:32

the skeletons in the closet.

Our lives had become intertwined with

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/09/2018:  10:54:05

phone calls from her 5 X's.

Now she wants to

OM45GE - Posted - 01/09/2018:  11:56:48

make me her fifth "X".

I'm not sure that is

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/09/2018:  12:36:19

necessary because 5x times 0 = 0.

A guy might as well hit the road

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/09/2018:  13:38:47

Jack and dont'cha come back no more!

There was a time when all

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/10/2018:  03:49:29

the "Jacks" were forced to hit the road.

But Ike put a stop to that when

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/10/2018:  07:25:50

he built the Interstates ,keeping hitch hikers off.

You’ll get nailed for vagrancy

OM45GE - Posted - 01/10/2018:  07:55:32

if they find you loitering behind the truck wash.

Especially if you also have

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/11/2018:  13:08:11

an old duffle bag and a hole in your sole.

But don’t go to any pity-parties

OM45GE - Posted - 01/11/2018:  18:26:00

or they'll just toss you in the hoosegow.

They don't tell you that

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/12/2018:  13:15:34

the hoosegow is not very clean, but they do provide you with hand sterilizer.

Next morning in front of the Judge

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/13/2018:  03:00:19

you can expect no mercy.

Just grin and don't ever

OM45GE - Posted - 01/13/2018:  05:24:53

refer to the judge as “your horror”.

I did that once and

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/13/2018:  09:04:05

the bailiff put me in a full nelson til I said Hono(u)r, with a capital “H”.

The judge likes to bang gravel

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/13/2018:  11:45:59

in the driveway.

He never bangs it in

OM45GE - Posted - 01/13/2018:  17:41:33

bed ever since the incident.

That was the time

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/13/2018:  20:32:59

he got hammered with his long-suffering wife.

Judges think they know it all

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/14/2018:  02:46:50

but,,the Shadow knows.

Every time my shadow appears it

OM45GE - Posted - 01/14/2018:  12:28:42

stays pretty close to me.

Sometimes it

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/14/2018:  13:37:12

disappears when night falls on the prairie.

Coyotes begin to howl

OM45GE - Posted - 01/14/2018:  18:53:07

whenever I play my harmonica.

They may think it’s

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/15/2018:  12:19:24

"Fox On The Run".

But it isn't. It's and old tune that never

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/15/2018:  12:23:16

made further east than the Black Hills.

You’ll need a western attitude

OM45GE - Posted - 01/15/2018:  15:31:30

and a ten gallon Stetson hat to even get in the door to hear the song.

They can spot an imposter

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/16/2018:  02:34:07

and he gets tarred and feathered in less that 5 minutes.

So it's best to keep quiet untill they

OM45GE - Posted - 01/16/2018:  07:50:59

ask you to buy another round.

Then, you may want to say that you

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/16/2018:  09:30:58

was robbed by some varmints headin’ east outta the Big Horn Mountains.

“Turn them pockets inside out

OM45GE - Posted - 01/16/2018:  10:28:06

and shows what you got" will be their most likely response.

At that point, you can either

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/16/2018:  17:27:23

pay the fiddler or let the cat out of the bag.

Romanticized notions of the old west

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/17/2018:  03:01:18

would shoot first and ask questions later.

But if you're of the caliber of Bat Masterson you could

OM45GE - Posted - 01/17/2018:  07:40:10

ask questions and shoot at the same time.

That way they

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/17/2018:  08:14:38

can’t give you a lippy answer.



Leo “The Lip” Durocher went west

Edited by - chuckv97 on 01/17/2018 08:14:58

OM45GE - Posted - 01/17/2018:  12:49:37

to New Jersey and immediately turned around.

He had been planned to go to

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/17/2018:  12:59:13

Scranton to an acclaimed lip surgeon, but he swallowed his pride and bit his lip in anguish as he u-turned on Delaware River bridge.

Being in neither the NJ nor the PA jurisdiction

OM45GE - Posted - 01/17/2018:  14:20:03

he decided this was a good spot to light up a joint and pulled over and did just that.

What he didn't know was

kentr - Posted - 01/17/2018:  21:54:39

someone had substituted a small stick of dynamite for that last joint.



once he lit up, he

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/17/2018:  22:24:10

blew off his big lip, plus most of his eyebrows.

Now they call him Leo the Loser

OM45GE - Posted - 01/18/2018:  13:19:51

and he’s been banned from the Witty Retorts club.

They don’t want

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/18/2018:  13:50:13

any such characters hanging around.

They have their own sheriff and

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/18/2018:  14:02:51

he doesn’t’t take any lip from any washed up old baseball manager.



Leo spent the rest of his days

youtu.be/mZNEtZI8r00

Edited by - chuckv97 on 01/18/2018 14:10:34